Moms and Maids

Weird BM dress question

OK I'll try and make this as short as possible.

My sister was in my wedding with 3 other people. My sister is a very plus size woman and pregnant, so we were going to have to have the dresses made so they would all be the same color. I told my girls that I would pay for the dresses because they were going to be expensive to get made. Two weeks ago my sister got put on bed rest and can't be in the wedding party and we're not sure if she is even coming to the wedding. If she does she is doing a reading during our sand ceremony. One of my other really close friends took her spot. My MOH and I went today and picked out their bridesmaids dress from David's bridal. Its moderatly expensive at 159 after tax and everything. My MOH keeps insisting that they should pay for the dress. But it just makes me feel terrible that they would have to buy dresses theyll never wear again for my wedding. I've told them I don't care what shoes or acceceries they wear. I said it'd be nice if all the shoes were black but if you find a killer pair in another color thats fine with me. My MOH is throwing my bridal shower but my mom is paying for it. 2 of my bridesmaids are in college and working and the 4th is FI's cousin in highschool. Do i stick to the plan of paying for the dresses? I just keep thinking about it and that 600 would pay for a lot of other things

Re: Weird BM dress question

  • edited December 2011
    I completely understand where you're coming from.  My mother decided to pay for my BMs' dresses because she completely insisted and wouldn't take no for an answer. 

    If you're torn between what to do, maybe you could pay for half or just a portion of their dresses.  That way you still feel like you're contributing and it's not so hard on your wallet. 

    I know it's common that BMs pay for their own dresses, and I even bought mine little black dresses so they are re-wearable, but I just didn't feel right making them buy a dress.  I guess I looked at it from the other perspective.  I don't think I've ever spent that kind of money on a dress, maybe besides prom, so if I was a BM I personally wouldn't want to dish out that kind of money for a dress either. 
  • ekilzer1ekilzer1 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you already told your BMS that you would pay for their dresses you cannot go back on it now- its rude. 


  • Soon2BMrsClaySoon2BMrsClay member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would not go back on your word; it would not be fair to throw an unexpected expense at them.
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    If your MOH would rather pay for her own dress than make you pay for it, that's fine.  You've offered to pay, and if she wants to decline that offer, that's her right.  It doesn't mean that the other girls need to pay for theirs, too.
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    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    If you already said that you'd pay, don't take it back. That would really put most people off. The only way you can get out of it is if they insist on paying themselves. 
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  • edited December 2011
    I think you really need to keep your word, I'm sure they took that into consideration when making other financial decisions.  That can be a lot of money to people.
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