BM after my Wedding cancled

catfinley

This is so selfish of me, but I was engaged to be married. We set our date for May 30,2011. My friend is getting married on May 15,2011.I am one of her BM. I am having a hard time being happy for her when I am reminded that I will not get the same experience. I love my friend and glad they are happy, but how will I stand there smiling while my heart is breaking.

KatyRoseM

Its understandable that you feel this way.  Have you talked to your friend about how your feeling?  It might make you feel better just to talk it out.  Or possibly another friend or councilor.  I don't think its selfish, I think its normal

jerseydevil

I am very sorry to hear about that, it's a tough thing to do, but I'm sure it is for the better and in time, you will be so grateful that you didn't get married. At least, that is what my experience has been when my first wedding was cancelled.

I could understand you being bummed out, but please suck it up for a day and be happy for your friend and enjoy the party. In time, I'm sure that you will have the same experience and it will be so much better than you could ever hope for because it will be with the right person next time.

Best of luck and don't let it get you too down! Easier said than done, I know, but as time passes it gets easier.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bm-after-wedding-cancled?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:b1939482-4f3f-4f10-9747-209c6cc2fa50Post:ab0c6273-587b-4e4e-98fb-83533ef97976">BM after my Wedding cancled</a>:
[QUOTE]This is so selfish of me, but I was engaged to be married. We set our date for May 30,2011. My friend is getting married on May 15,2011.I am one of her BM. I am having a hard time being happy for her when I am reminded that I will not get the same experience. I love my friend and glad they are happy, but how will I stand there smiling while my heart is breaking.
Posted by catfinley[/QUOTE]

knottief7f08860652a16bf

try to remember the reasons you called it off.  Tell yourself that you will have a beautiful wedding some day, with the right guy, at the right time. 

fmk25

I was in your exact position almost two years ago.  I was supposed to be married memorial day weekend in 2009 and my best friend (I was her MOH and she was supposed to be mine) was getting married the weekend before me.  Well 2 months before my wedding we called it off. I felt exactly as you do right now. 

But on the day of her wedding, I was so focused on making her day special and being there for her, that I felt nothing but happinesses for her on her wedding day.  It wasn't till after the day was over that I started to have those heartbreaking feelings creep back up. 

My advice to you is to just be there for your friend on her day, make sure its special for her and hopefully like me you won't have time to feel sorry for yourself.   Your friend knows its going to be a hard day for you, but if you just focus on her, you'll ensure her day is special and you will have a wonderful day with your best friend.