My Mom wants to wear ivory

radcmr

My mom has some body image issues and after searching for a dress for nearly a year, she finally found one that she likes. The only problem is that it's ivory, the same color as my wedding gown. Should I let mom be happy and wear what makes her comfortable and feel pretty or tell her to find something else? From what I understand it's from a department store and does not come in another color. I know that the rule says no one but the bride is supposed to wear white but is there an exception to this rule? I have mixed feelings about it.

AutumnFair

If mom wants to wear ivory, let her wear it. The old tradition of what colors people can't wear are slowly fading away. Unless she is willing to look for a similar dress in a different color, I would let it go. 

jagore08

If you mom feels good in it and neither one of you have an issue with her wearing the same color as you then why not?  This is a personal feeling that only you and your mother can decide on.

ekilzer1

It is completely up to you, it's your wedding! If you think about it- some people have their GMs wear white tuxes.... so its not necessarily just for the bride to wear, but its just personal preference. Maybe she could wear a jacket/cardigan in another color? or a sash? 

I would not be ok with it (even with a jacket or a sash)... but that is just me. 

Pattash

"Should I let mom be happy and wear what makes her comfortable and feel pretty" - I would say yes. I definitely understand not wanting her to wear the same color as you but if this is the only dress that she has found after a year that she loves it, then I'd just let it go. Everyone will know you are the bride and you and your mom will probably have a much better day if your Mom is happy.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mom-wants-wear-ivory?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:b2a45958-ba73-44bb-9488-2ceef5c397f6Post:a5fc8d2e-dfb5-4284-91fb-627950dc5764">My Mom wants to wear ivory</a>:
[QUOTE]My mom has some body image issues and after searching for a dress for nearly a year, she finally found one that she likes. The only problem is that it's ivory, the same color as my wedding gown. Should I let mom be happy and wear what makes her comfortable and feel pretty or tell her to find something else? From what I understand it's from a department store and does not come in another color. I<strong> know that the rule says no one but the bride is supposed to wear white </strong>but is there an exception to this rule? I have mixed feelings about it.
Posted by radcmr[/QUOTE]
Nope, not really such a rule.  Some people might give her a side eye for it, but if it makes her feel comfortable and beautiful, it's perfectly fine.

sprtychick10

If your mom is happy in the dress and it won't bother you, then by all means let her wear the dress. I agree with the PP's, that rule is not really and "rule". Its your day and you have the ultimate say on what goes.

MairePoppy

As an MOB, I would not wear white or ivory because I know that it would get 'the side eye.' Aside from that, I prefer color.
If you and your mom don't care about that old tradition, though, then she should wear the ivory dress.

Beachy730

As long as you don't care, thats all that matters.  But as mairepoppy said, your mom will probably be getting side-eyed by many guests.  Especially older ones who think strongly of that rule.  I have heard many people think its worse when a mother wears white/ivory than guests, because its their own childs wedding.  But its your decision and you're the only one who has to be okay with it.

radcmr

Thanks Ladies for the input.  I'm trying to be the anti-bridezilla by not telling anyone what they can't wear (except for the guys, because they're totally clueless). Even my maids picked out their own dresses, although they are all the same color, fabric and length. I just want everyone, including my mom to have a fun and memorable day. I'm going to tell her to buy the dress.

jemmini6

My mom already had a black skirt and beaded white top that she suggested she could wear (my colors are black, white and yellow), but I asked her to find a shirt in a color for picture purposes.  However, if she had searched and searched to find something, and the only thing that she liked/made her happy was ivory, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

graysquirrel

I actually would look a little strangely at a mom wearing white. I don't care if it is old fashioned-- it's still odd. Especially if the dress is long or at all bridal looking. If it were me, I would tell my mom that it makes me uncomfortable for her to be wearing white. I don't see anything wrong with having an honest conversation about it as long as it is mature and even-tempered. Perhaps she could dye the dress? If she really feels that strongly about the dress, perhaps she can wear a jacket in a darker color.  

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mom-wants-wear-ivory?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:b2a45958-ba73-44bb-9488-2ceef5c397f6Post:a5fc8d2e-dfb5-4284-91fb-627950dc5764">My Mom wants to wear ivory</a>:
[QUOTE]My mom has some body image issues and after searching for a dress for nearly a year, she finally found one that she likes. The only problem is that it's ivory, the same color as my wedding gown. <strong>Should I let mom be happy and wear what makes her comfortable and feel pretty</strong> or tell her to find something else? From what I understand it's from a department store and does not come in another color. <strong>I know that the rule says no one but the bride is supposed to wear white but is there an exception to this rule?</strong> I have mixed feelings about it.
Posted by radcmr[/QUOTE]

To the first thing bolded - yes, you should let her be happy and wear what makes her feel comfortable and pretty.  When my sister got married last year my mom searched for months for the simple black dress she ended up wearing and it was such a nightmare for her she's wearing the same one to my wedding.  It doesn't matter.

To the second bolded - if it truly is the rule, then uh, why are you wearing ivory instead of white?  ...Just being a snot, sorry.  But really you should just let it go.  It's not that big of a deal.

lavieboheme73

I noticed you said you're going to tell her to buy the dress.

I just wanted to commend you for getting it that your mom isn't out to steal your spotlight, and being very cool with not making issues out of something that's not a big deal to you, just because someone who never met you and likely died before you were ever born once decided you should have a problem with it.  That is all.

filaw

I disagree that there is no longer any rule that guests shouldn't wear white.  If a guest shows up at a wedding wearing white, I would assume that they should know better and wonder why they did it anyway.

I think it's fine for your mom to wear white, so long as *you* are fine with it.  It's very nice of you to consider how difficult it's been for her to find a dress that she feels pretty in.  As for what guests will likely make of it, If the MOB wears white, guests will assume that she ran it by you and you were okay with it (which is clearly your case).  I am speaking from experience as my mom wore a dress that literally matched mine to my wedding (and did *not* check it by me first) and everyone assumed that I had okayed it.  Though some were shocked that I had okayed it.

But it sounds like you have it worked out, and everything will be fine.

Muffin'sMom

My sister in law wore ivory to her daughters wedding.  That being said, she had a shawl, evening purse, shoes and jewelry in beautiful mixed shades of caramels, ivories and golds.  She looked lovely! 

Judith233

My thought on this is so what it's ivory?  She should wear what makes her comfortable and feel pretty.  No one will mistake her for the bride.  Promise

Fbrandye

I totally agree with everyone but if you are uncomfortable she if she might consider dying it. Alot of professional places will dye the dress, then she gets the dress she wants in a color other then ivory.

SeptemberFall2011

Let her...My mom will be!

marcstacey

My mom wore a custom made ivory pantsuit to our wedding and the pictures look FABULOUS.  Let her wear what she wants.  No one made a peep at my wedding about Mom wearing ivory (I wore an ivory gown as well) and everyone commented on how great she looked.