MIL Versus Bouquets

Marmaduke25

I saw these beautiful crystal bouquets at a bridal show and fell in love. http://www.crystalbloomweddings.com/

My bridesmaids and I are really excited about them, but I heard through the grapevine (FIL told DH in confidence) that my MIL thinks they are tacky and hates the look of them. Now, my MIL is a wonderful person who has been nothing but kind to me, so I know she'll NEVER say that to my face. Still, it made me question my own taste level. On the other hand (and I know this makes me sound crazy), I hate the smell of flowers. Can't stand them.

So I have two things I need advice on. 1: Are these tacky? and 2: If so, should I suck it up and carry real flowers, or can I just go bouquet-less?

MairePoppy

First off, shame on FIL and DH for passing along this information : (   Your mil would probably be flabbergasted if she knew they told you.

I love real flowers, hate silk flowers. The crystal bouquets are a nice alternative to real flowers. If you love them, you should have the crystal bouquets. The wedding should be a reflection of your style.

AdeleDazeem

I'm not a huge fan of those bouquets, but I would never say they are tacky or hate the look of them!  My goodness that's cruel.  I think they are fine if they are your style.

Are fiance's parents paying for the bouquets?  I can see her opinion being (slightly) valid if that was the case, but if not - who cares?  MIL can get over it!  You carry what you want.

You don't have to carry a bouquet (fake or otherwise), either.  My grandmother carried a prayer book.

Marmaduke25

I know, I feel really bad about how upset she would be if she knew I know. : ( They both just wanted to make sure I didn't pick up some underlying tension from her and worry what it was about.

Thanks for the vote of confidence.

MairePoppy

I'm sure they were trying to be 'helpful.' They just don't know any better.

mgietler76

Personally I love the look of crystal bouquets and if I had the money that's what I would have done.

sister2groom

I don't think they're tacky (when I think of tacky I think of overly showy), these are understated. I'm not a fan of them personally because I actually think they should be fuller, especially since they're so pricey ($200ish per bouquet is a lot in my opinion). If you really liked those I would try to find them on Etsy or used (I mean how much wear and tear will there be on them after one use?).

But in answer to your question, I don't bouquets are necessary at all, especially for you, since brides often carry them only for the walk up and down the aisle (the MOH usually holds the bride's during the whole ceremony). Your bridesmaids can hold nothing (maybe they can have a corsage), or if you really liked the look of those bouquets you (and didn't mind your BMs carrying real flowers) you could go with baby's breath bouquets, which I think are lovely.

janicejab

  They aren't my taste. They kind of remind me of those fiberoptic light-up flashlights you'd get at the skating rink or circus. Sorry. However, if you like them, I would get them. I think if you have the right theme or color scheme they could blend in and look ok though. Also, if you don't want to carry a bouquet, you don't have to.

SirJuliusVonHaast

They aren't to my taste either, but I wouldn't say they are tacky. I think if you really like them you should get them. If you decide to go with flowers, make sure to talk to the florist about how you don't like any strong smell so that flowers can be chosen accordingly. 

aerinpegadrak

This is one of those things that's purely aesthetic and shouldn't affect your guests' comfort or enjoyment of the party, so it's something that you can do pretty much however you want.

Though I agree that you should shop around a bit more.  I've seen much nicer crystal bouquets for much less money.  Check on Etsy.

Marmaduke25

I'm really glad I posted this - Etsy has some great bouquets! Maybe I'll be able to find something that will please both of us.

vicki0508

Sort of a nit picky point - are you married already?  You refer to them as FIL, MIL, and DH and those usually refer to familial relationships after you're married.  (as opposed to FFIL, FMIL, FI or FH)  I guess my point is that if you're already married, I don't think bouquets are appropriate because I don't think a wedding party is appropriate.

tpender13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mil-versus-bouquets?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:b2b267c9-4d65-43c7-904e-7d87b77facb9Post:eadfb2bc-e617-45f7-a6e8-d094c58df9ee">Re: MIL Versus Bouquets</a>:
[QUOTE]Sort of a nit picky point - are you married already?  You refer to them as FIL, MIL, and DH and those usually refer to familial relationships after you're married.  (as opposed to FFIL, FMIL, FI or FH)  I guess my point is that if you're already married, I don't think bouquets are appropriate because I don't think a wedding party is appropriate.
Posted by vicki0508[/QUOTE]

Ditto.

But to answer your question, I think the idea of the crystal bouquets are kinda cool, but those ones are ridiculously overpriced. And no, you don't have to carry flowers.

lmwilber

There's really only one opinion that matters (well besides yours) and that's your FI's. Does he like them? It's his day as well, and he might think they are tacky, but is trying to hide behind his mothers comment. I would ask him what he thinks. If he likes them, and you like them (and you two are paying for them) then go for it. 

vsgal

I did the crystal bouquets for my wedding. We did not use flowers anywhere in the wedding or reception.   When I told people that I was doing them, I got a lot of side-eyes because they expected the real flowers.  The day of the wedding, the same people could not stop touching them and taking pics of them.  So, if you are not keen on flowers, then do the crystal bouquet.   I can tell you that you can make them for about 1/3 of the price of ordering them online.  I did a 350 and a 250 stem bouquet for $60 in supplies.  I made both in about 3 days. Private message me with your email address and I will send you pics of what I did and how it looked during the ceremony.

AutumnFair

I have never heard of these bouquet but to see them in that picture is awesome, definitely not tacky, very modern, but not tacky and to me very cool. 

Flowers are definitely not "required" like many other things for a wedding. So basically do what suits your tastes. 

Marmaduke25

No, I'm not married, I've just never posted here before.

I'm so glad I asked for advice - I found some really beautiful origami bouquets on Etsy. When I showed one to my FMIL she looked so relieved!

skippylouwho

I don't really care for them. From what I saw the cheapest of the bouquets is $180 each and the larger were at least $280.  That's pretty darned expensive. So if you put out all that money, what do you think will happen to them after the wedding? It's not something I would display in my home. 

vicki0508

Congrats on finding something that appeases everyone!

jcamm11

No matter what your tastes are, there are going to be people who think that what you like is tacky and hideous, and others who think it's great.  Do what you want.  My BM's dresses are fuschia and my GM's are wearing the casual beach look.  I know what it's like to have people making you second guess your own tastes.

reason00

I don't think those are bad at all, I like different elements in weddings.

mizzicantwait

I am not a flower person either... but I am going with a flower bouquet just because I want to add a pop of color to the white dress.

Before I state any opinion, your wedding should reflect your style and what you like, so regardless of what I say, she says, anyone says, if the crystal bouquets make you happy go for it. Second, it depends on who is paying for them. If you are paying for the flowers/bouquets go with what you like. If FMIL if paying or helping make sure you ask her opinion and include her. Also don't be offended if she tells you she prefers flowers. Ask her why and then tell her you don't like flowers because of [insert reason here]. Make sure she knows that you value her opinion.

Personally I couldn't spend that amount on crystal bouquets. And I  also believe the bride's bouquet should be different than the BMs.

As far as you FMIL, she sounds a lot like mine..lol. She would never have the heart to say something 'mean' to my face.