Moms and Maids


so i'm having a small, intimate, and inexpensive destination wedding in puerto rico, which is where my fella is from and the origin of my paternal heritage.

but my mother and i are estranged (by her choice... it's a long story, but it's safe to say she's completely irrational).  but i love her!  and i miss her so much.  i'm reading all of the articles pertaining to MOBs and it hurts to think that my momma won't be there, even to see walk down the aisle (or beach, as it were).  

what's equally difficult is that my step dad and my sister (who will be sixteen at the time of the ceremony and who i had always hoped would be my maid of honor) live with my mom.  so they would not be attending either.

ever since i was a flower girl in my mom's own wedding, i've dreamed of tying the knot on the beach just like she did.  i can't believe she won't be there!

i plan on purchasing or at least assisting with tickets and expenses for my best man Smile and his fella, as well as a few of my closest family members (my gramma and my aunts).  but this is my special day.  i don't care about what colour my damn invitations are, how designer my dress is, or if the reception is a barbeque in someone's backyard.  not to mention the fact that my side of the family definitely won't be helping financially.  

all i want is for someone to walk me down the aisle.

so what i want to know is, what is the protocol for THAT?

image eva magnolia 07/22/11

Re: MOB is MIA

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    AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Really, you don't need anyone, you sound like an independent woman and have stood on your own two feet for a long time.

    But if you want someone to walk down the aisle its basically the closes person to you, this may be grandparent, uncle/aunt, sibling, or even FI. This is a personal decision of the Brides, and no one but you have the say. 

    And sorry to hear about your mom not wanting to be involve with your life. I would start ignoring the magazines/articles about what the MOB does, surround yourself with people that are close to you (like maybe an aunt) and share certain wedding moments with them (if they cant come dress shopping with you, maybe shooting an email with the dress you chose). 
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    edited December 2011
    I feel for you. I am not sure if my Mom will be there either. Long story with mine, too, but she is just needs some serious help and refuses. I had to verify that my Dad was still going to do it regardless if my mom doesn't show bc she is very controlling and I dont put it past her to try and stop him from coming to his own daughters wedding. I had already had my FFIL as a backup and he said he would be honored and more than happy to do it.

    Anyway, with a beach wedding like that, esp, you are very free to have whoever you want walk you down the aisle. You could have your FFIL if you are close and/or comfortable with him, or you could have a female relative. I have even heard of people doing these things in a church ceremony, so I wouldn't stress too much as long as you choose someone who is a good person and means a lot to you. Good Luck
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    edited December 2011

    Wow! Very similar to my situation! I do not have a relationship with my mother or her husband. Therefore, I am NOT allowed to have one with my little brothers either. They all have been threaten if they even talk to me, they will be grounded. So I too had the problem of who was going to walk me down the isle, well recently my real dad and I have started up a relationship..(after 6 years) due to the ugliness of divorce. Also, my FI dad said he would love to walk me (which I am very close with him) and one of my BM who I have grown up with, her dad called and told me the same thing. What we are thinking about doing is maybe having my dad walk me, just up to the beginning of the chairs and my FI come and grab me from there and we walk up together.
    This is not set in stone, but just an idea!

    Best wishes!

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    edited December 2011
    You can walk down the aisle alone or with anyone you like. I like your idea of asking your Gramma to walk you. That would be such an honor for her. Your Aunts would probably also be willing to fill in for your mother if you ask them.
    I hope your mother has a change of heart before your wedding. Good luck.

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