Bridesmaid driving me nuts

Whitetigers6588

I have one of my bridesmaids that is very excited for me maybe a little to excited. I have tried to talk to her about thing that i like and then she has told me that she thinks that they are stupid. She is already married and had her chance to plan her wedding but ended up having to elope because she got pregnant and now it seems like she is trying to plan mine. Recently my mom mentioned going to Hobby Lobby to see what they had for wedding stuff, well i told this bridesmaid that my mom and i were going to go and then she was like well we could go and just kept pushing for me to go with her insted of my mom and then when i told her that i had found stuff she was like arnt u glad i mentioned it and it really mad me upset like she is trying to take credit for somthing that wasnt even her idea, we r suppose to go look at bridesmaid dresses and im scared cause she is so opionated and constantly is trying to change my mind. I got my wedding dress when i went with my mom looking and when i told her that i found one thay i like just as much as i did another one she was like are u positive ur not just settling cause its cheeper or that my mom had something to do with it i know she wants me to be happy but she is putting a little to much stess on me i dont know what to do. HELP!!!!!!!

AutumnFair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-driving-nuts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:b7f37fd1-fec2-4dfa-87ac-ba833c7c2bf9Post:835285e7-18bf-4841-a5c8-c8977f8851f7">Bridesmaid driving me nuts</a>:
[QUOTE]I have one of my bridesmaids that is very excited for me maybe a little to excited. I have tried to talk to her about thing that i like and then she has told me that she thinks that they are stupid. She is already married and had her chance to plan her wedding but ended up having to elope because she got pregnant and now it seems like she is trying to plan mine. Recently my mom mentioned going to Hobby Lobby to see what they had for wedding stuff, well i told this bridesmaid that my mom and i were going to go and then she was like well we could go and just kept pushing for me to go with her insted of my mom and then when i told her that i had found stuff she was like arnt u glad i mentioned it and it really mad me upset like she is trying to take credit for somthing that wasnt even her idea, we r suppose to go look at bridesmaid dresses and im scared cause she is so opionated and constantly is trying to change my mind. I got my wedding dress when i went with my mom looking and when i told her that i found one thay i like just as much as i did another one she was like are u positive ur not just settling cause its cheeper or that my mom had something to do with it i know she wants me to be happy but she is putting a little to much stess on me i dont know what to do. HELP!!!!!!!
Posted by Whitetigers6588[/QUOTE]

<div>The best way is to just say, "thanks for the idea, I'll keep it under consideration." or "thanks, but I really like this way it feels more my style". Plus I would try to limit the wedding talk and use the Bean Dip (aka changing the subject) technique if she just can't stop with the wedding stuff.</div><div>
</div><div>As for her trying to go with you, just straight up tell her, "I really just want to go with just my mom for some mother/daughter bonding time."</div><div>
</div><div>It sounds to me that the best thing to do with the dresses is to give your BMs a color, designer, and length and let them choose their dress, I'm sure this way you won't have headaches of all her opinions. If you are really wanting the same, talk to each girl individually with what their budget, pick a number of dresses in the lowest price range, then go to the store and let the girls decide themselves which they like best (if its a tie then you can have the final say). </div>

heyimbren

Just don't talk to her about wedding stuff. Bean dip if you have to.
BM: "Well I think that's a terrible idea for a wedding!"
Whitetiger: "Really? Well have you tried the bean dip? It's delicious!"
Change the subject. Don't involve her. She doesn't have to be involved in wedding planning to be a BM.

Also, Autumn gave a good suggestion about what to do for BM dresses and I agree with it.

TheCranberry

Is this BM always this way or is she suddenly overbearing in connection with the wedding?  I am learning that people love to give their opinions on anything wedding related so I either change the subject if I don't want to talk about it or make a non-comittal comment like "oh that's interesting I'll think about".  People get it after a while.

Whitetigers6588

Thanks for all the advise and  she has always been this opionated just never this bad. Its been better since she got a job and i have not talked to her as much, but we are getting together this comin saturday to look at bridesmaid dresses and my mom and my sister(maid of Honor) are comin with i am just hoping everyone gets along.