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Not really sure what to do

jjones3636jjones3636
10 Comments
in Moms and Maids
I am going with my BM to David's Bridal in about a week, so that my BM can select their dress. Whether or not my BM buy or order their dresses then is up to each lady. 

Here is my dilema:

One of my really good friends was at one point my MOH. She had a series of unfortunate events, and ended up moving cross country to Texas. While living in TX my friend called me and said due to distance, and other reasons she no longer felt she could be my MOH. I completely understood and told her I would love for her to still try to make it to my wedding. 

Fast forward to now. My former MOH moved back here two months ago. Our friendship is now stronger than ever. She made a comment the other day about how my wedding is swiftly approaching, and now she doesn't even get to be a part of it. I had already considered her being a BM, but then I would have 6. Not that the number of BM is that big of a deal. I just don't know what to do. 

Here's another twist to the story- I a meeting with one of my BM this week, and I have a feeling she is going to excuse herself as a BM. She has A LOT on her plate right now, and I completely understand. I just don't want it to look as though I am replacing one of the ladies with another. Although, I will know that truth, so I suppose that's all that matters.

Any ideas on what I can do?
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Re: Not really sure what to do

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Do you want your friend from TX in your wedding?  Forget about numbers.  Take than completely out of the equation.  Do you want her standing with you?  Then tell her how thrilled you are that she's back, tell her when the dress shopping outing is, and enjoy having her stand with you.  It's really that simply IMO
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    "So glad you're back!  I can't wait for you to be in the wedding!"

    Even numbers are completely unimportant.  We had one more BM than GM and would not have done a single thing differently.
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  • vicki0508vicki0508 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_not-really-sure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:b938f9ca-03a6-4272-b253-ccd8281ba9d3Post:112ed710-c9c7-4415-ae9e-86fe366f775a">Not really sure what to do</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am going with my BM to David's Bridal in about a week, so that my BM can select their dress. Whether or not my BM buy or order their dresses then is up to each lady.  Here is my dilema: One of my really good friends was at one point my MOH. She had a series of unfortunate events, and ended up moving cross country to Texas. While living in TX my friend called me and said due to distance, and other reasons she no longer felt she could be my MOH. I completely understood and told her I would love for her to still try to make it to my wedding.  Fast forward to now. My former MOH moved back here two months ago. Our friendship is now stronger than ever. She made a comment the other day about how my wedding is swiftly approaching, and now she doesn't even get to be a part of it. I had already considered her being a BM, but then I would have 6. Not that the number of BM is that big of a deal. I just don't know what to do.  Here's another twist to the story- I a meeting with one of my BM this week, and I have a feeling she is going to excuse herself as a BM. She has A LOT on her plate right now, and I completely understand. I just don't want it to look as though I am replacing one of the ladies with another. Although, I will know that truth, so I suppose that's all that matters. Any ideas on what I can do?
    Posted by jjones3636[/QUOTE]

    I think it would be fine to let your former MOH be a BM.  If you add her before the other BM drops out, then you haven't done any replacing.  Also, don't worry about having uneven sides - nobody will even notice if there are more BMs than GMs.
    Planning Bio
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  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you want her back in it, then add her. Numbers are not important, trust me, your guests will not care about even/uneven sides. By the end of the night, I can guarantee that they wouldn't be able to guess how many you had in the first place.
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  • jjones3636jjones3636
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the advice ladies!

    Uneven sides do not bother me. We currently have 6 GM and 5 BM. Now I know what I shall do.

    Thanks again!
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