MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding

cougarjamie05

Help! So my MOH informs me yesterday that she will only be staying for two hours of my wedding so she can take her kids home.  Well, my family and I don't really think it's appropriate for anyone to be bringing very young children to an evening wedding. I feel as she is my miad of honor I should get her undivided attention for just this one day.  She will have a 1 month old and a two year old but has a multitude of family members and friends who babysit for her on a regular basis.  I am so mad and hurt I dont' even know how to handle the situation.  I was her maid of honor and was there for her every step of the way.  We have been best friends for 28 years, not to mention we are cousins.  What do I say to her?

sheenammeder

I say sit her down and talk to her calmly and voice your concerns. Dont come off bitchy or overbearing. Explain to her that this is the most important day of your life and you want her there by your side for the whole event. Perhaps offer to hire a babysitter to be at the wedding to look after her kids (we are doing that for ours). I htink you have every right to be upset.

ohwhynot

I completely disagree.   She's standing at your side, watching you marry, eating dinner with you . . . who cares if she doesn't stay for the entire reception?  You have at most, what, 2-3 hours left for your reception?  What else do you expect her to do?  You're going to be visiting with your guests - you won't even notice she's not there.  Get over it, or risk losing a good friend over a really petty thing. 

AutumnFair

<div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">In Response to <a style="text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal;color:#1f1f1f;" href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-planning-leave-after-2-hours-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bc4ce875-300b-4afe-96a4-52db67c30d6bPost:6e97ea04-93c7-46fc-b470-61a295a62a60">MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Help! So my MOH informs me yesterday that she will only be staying for two hours of my wedding so she can take her kids home.  Well, my family and I don't really think it's appropriate for anyone to be bringing very young children to an evening wedding. I feel as she is my miad of honor I should get her undivided attention for just this one day.  She will have a 1 month old and a two year old but has a multitude of family members and friends who babysit for her on a regular basis.  I am so mad and hurt I dont' even know how to handle the situation.  I was her maid of honor and was there for her every step of the way.  We have been best friends for 28 years, not to mention we are cousins.  What do I say to her?
Posted by cougarjamie05[/QUOTE]
</div></div><div>
</div><div>You say NOTHING. Her priorities are correct, her taking care of her children is a million times more important than your wedding reception. Seriously, you need to take a step back and look at yourself because you are in the wrong and coming off very very selfish (to people who have no bias, it looks like you want her to kick her children aside so she can pay attention to you). Plus it is NOT like she has anything else to do at the reception besides being a guest, she is not leaving before dinner or toast or dances, so why in heck do you care if she leaves. You will be too busy to even notice, you will be talking to your other guest all night and dancing all night. Her leaving early is NOT going to affect your reception. So you need to get over it.</div><div>
</div><div>And no you do NOT get her undivided attention all day, you get her undivided attention for about 2 hours. Once the ceremony is done, she is technically done. A wedding reception is to treat the people who at your wedding, not for them to Oooo and Ahhhh over you some more like your royalty. </div><div>
</div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-planning-leave-after-2-hours-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bc4ce875-300b-4afe-96a4-52db67c30d6bPost:b4cef410-3f51-48bf-9dd0-81e95f13dd68">Re: MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]I say sit her down and talk to her calmly and voice your concerns. Dont come off bitchy or overbearing. Explain to her that this is the most important day of your life and you want her there by your side for the whole event. Perhaps offer to hire a babysitter to be at the wedding to look after her kids (we are doing that for ours). I htink you have every right to be upset.
Posted by sheenammeder[/QUOTE]

<div>WRONG. She has CHILDREN a 1 month old for crying out loud, unless you have kids you have no right to think that the mother should just drop her off somewhere to be at the "beck and call" of this Bride. No, talk is going to end well for the Bride, she will look like a HUGE Bridezilla if she does this. Not just to her MOH, but to her family (since the girl IS a cousin). Seriously the Bride needs to let this go, it is NOT WORTH the possible drama and hurt feelings she might cause. Her MOH does NOT need to be at the reception until it ends, that is a ridiculous expectation to have. </div>

SSaltzman87

As long as she shows up and stands with you at the altar, I really don't see a problem with this. Lives do go on outside of weddings.

Yeah it sucks that she can't be there for the whole thing, but I honestly think you have better things to worry about.

BeeBee22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-planning-leave-after-2-hours-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bc4ce875-300b-4afe-96a4-52db67c30d6bPost:6e97ea04-93c7-46fc-b470-61a295a62a60">MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Help! So my MOH informs me yesterday that she will only be staying for two hours of my wedding so she can take her kids home.  Well, my family and I don't really think it's appropriate for anyone to be bringing very young children to an evening wedding. I feel as she is my miad of honor I should get her undivided attention for just this one day.  She will have a 1 month old and a two year old but has a multitude of family members and friends who babysit for her on a regular basis.  I am so mad and hurt I dont' even know how to handle the situation.  I was her maid of honor and was there for her every step of the way.  We have been best friends for 28 years, not to mention we are cousins.  What do I say to her?
Posted by cougarjamie05[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>FFS.  iIf this is real, you have A LOT of growing up to do.  If you are a friend to this woman, how <strong>dare </strong>you expect her to pay more attention to you than to her young children?!  If your family didn't smack you upside the head for saying that out loud, the women here will, because you're being ridiculous.</div><div>
</div><div>BTW, a one-month-old is always an exception to even a child-free wedding.  The two-year-old depends on whether or not you were clear to all of your invitees about whether children are invited.  Maybe she thought, as your "best friend" that you might want her 2 y-o there, but that's really a separate issue.</div><div>
</div><div>You actually think you should get undivided attention for an entire day from anyone, particularly the mother of two young children? Seriously?  Why?  Are you a pathological narcissist? If you want a sycophant, hire one.  </div><div>
</div><div><strong>What you say to her is that you're very glad she'll be able to make it to your wedding and reception so soon after having had her child, and deeply grateful that she's taking on the extra stress of being your MOH (since she can't just sit peacefully holding her infant wearing the most comfortable outfit she can, but has to be standing up front with you in what's bound to be a less-comfortable dress).  Tell her that you love her.  Don't be a brat.</strong></div><div><strong>
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radcmr

I agree with the other responses. If the kids were older, say 8 and 10 or so, I'd say it would be perfectly fine to request that she get a sitter. However, as the mother of 2 myself, it's practically impossible to leave your newborn alone with anyone. She wouldn't have any fun or peace of mind at your reception if her kids are not in her care. Not only that but she might be nursing the baby and will need to keep him / her with her at all times.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-planning-leave-after-2-hours-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:bc4ce875-300b-4afe-96a4-52db67c30d6bPost:70da4bd6-5207-417a-a288-e614840fc164">Re: MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to  MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding : You say NOTHING. Her priorities are correct, her taking care of her children is a million times more important than your wedding reception. Seriously, you need to take a step back and look at yourself because you are in the wrong and coming off very very selfish (to people who have no bias, it looks like you want her to kick her children aside so she can pay attention to you). Plus it is NOT like she has anything else to do at the reception besides being a guest, she is not leaving before dinner or toast or dances, so why in heck do you care if she leaves. You will be too busy to even notice, you will be talking to your other guest all night and dancing all night. Her leaving early is NOT going to affect your reception. So you need to get over it. And no you do NOT get her undivided attention all day, you get her undivided attention for about 2 hours. Once the ceremony is done, she is technically done. A wedding reception is to treat the people who at your wedding, not for them to Oooo and Ahhhh over you some more like your royalty.  In Response to Re: MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding : WRONG. She has CHILDREN a 1 month old for crying out loud, unless you have kids you have no right to think that the mother should just drop her off somewhere to be at the "beck and call" of this Bride. No, talk is going to end well for the Bride, she will look like a HUGE Bridezilla if she does this. Not just to her MOH, but to her family (since the girl IS a cousin). Seriously the Bride needs to let this go, it is NOT WORTH the possible drama and hurt feelings she might cause. Her MOH does NOT need to be at the reception until it ends, that is a ridiculous expectation to have. 
Posted by AutumnFair[/QUOTE]

Ditto all of this. 

A one month old would take precedence over any wedding I was in, regardless of who was getting married.  She could have just stepped down from your wedding because of having a small child, but she is doing you the honor of standing by your side. 

And I can promise you that you will not even know if she is gone. 

MairePoppy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-planning-leave-after-2-hours-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bc4ce875-300b-4afe-96a4-52db67c30d6bPost:6e97ea04-93c7-46fc-b470-61a295a62a60">MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Help! So my MOH informs me yesterday that she will only be staying for two hours of my wedding so she can take her kids home.  Well, my family and I don't really think it's appropriate for anyone to be bringing very young children to an evening wedding. I feel as she is my miad of honor I should get her undivided attention for just this one day.  She will have a 1 month old and a two year old but has a multitude of family members and friends who babysit for her on a regular basis.  I am so mad and hurt I dont' even know how to handle the situation.  I was her maid of honor and was there for her every step of the way.  We have been best friends for 28 years, not to mention we are cousins.  What do I say to her?
Posted by cougarjamie05[/QUOTE]

After your moh and bms have performed their duties of witnessing your ceremony and posing for pictures, they should be free to enjoy the reception, as they please. You do not need the undivided attention of anyone, except maybe, your new husband. There will be other guests to visit with, too. You will be so busy that you will not even notice if she leaves early.

I agree, it is not practical to bring children to an evening reception.If you have already invited them, though, then your stuck with that decision. Wouldn't you rather she take her kids home than listen to a fussy toddler? Infants are an exception to the 'no chldren' rule. If mom is breastfeeding, she most likely won't be able to leave the baby with a sitter for very long. The parents get to decide when they are ready to leave the children with a babysitter. Don't ask your moh to choose between you and her baby.

You shouldn't say anything to you moh about the situation until you have things in perspective. The only suggestion I have, is to offer to allow her to bring a helper, as a guest, to your wedding.

aerinpegadrak

She's off duty after the ceremony.  If she'd rather miss the party to take care of the child, that's her right.  Trying to demand that you should take precedence over her newborn doesn't make you a very good friend.

FWIW, we had a child-free wedding, but we welcomed my sister's 5mo and my MOH's 9mo.  It didn't make much of a difference for me, but it made life infinitely eaiser for them.

Soon2BMrsClay

I agreed with the PP's.  If she had older children, sure I would understand being a little upset but really, a one month old? Come on, get your priorities straight; she has a newborn!!  A baby that young needs its mother more than you need her.  

jerseydevil

Say - "No problem! I feel so special that you are still willing to be my MOH even though you just gave birth. Thank you."

Be happy that she told you in advance what her intentions are and that she is staying for the meal.

kimp67

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-planning-leave-after-2-hours-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:bc4ce875-300b-4afe-96a4-52db67c30d6bPost:f62ed474-982f-49f7-a640-7714cb7323c3">Re: MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Say - "No problem! I feel so special that you are still willing to be my MOH even though you just gave birth. Thank you." Be happy that she told you in advance what her intentions are and that she is staying for the meal.
Posted by jerseydevil[/QUOTE]

THIS!

trix1223

Since the role of a MOH or BM starts and ends with the ceremony, she is under NO obligation to remain at your reception for the entire time.  And she will have a ONE MONTH OLD infant.

There's a very strong chance here that unless you change your attitude, there will be a baby at your wedding.  Hint:  it won't be the one month old.

omalleyj20

I agree with the PP on both accounts. 1-it's not right for you to give her a hard time for leaving your wedding early to take care of her children. She agreed to be your MOH and stand with you, not be your slave for the day. and 2- you won't even realize she's gone, you'll have many other things to focus on, other guests or your new husband!

Do not create a fight over this, in no way shape or form is she supposed to have all her attention on you all day just because you're getting married.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Who cares if she wants to leave?  If she's the groom?  You really shouldn't be all that concerned about anyone leaving early for any reason unless they are the groom.  Or a vendor, I guess.

lavieboheme73

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-planning-leave-after-2-hours-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bc4ce875-300b-4afe-96a4-52db67c30d6bPost:657d4a20-5f32-45b9-a81a-16fd166c0c27">Re: MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding : Ditto all of this.  A one month old would take precedence over any wedding I was in, regardless of who was getting married.  She could have just stepped down from your wedding because of having a small child, but she is doing you the honor of standing by your side.  <strong>And I can promise you that you will not even know if she is gone. </strong>
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

This.  And the rest of it, too.

I actually do kind of understand where you're coming from, but I don't agree with your reasoning behind it.  All that aside, I know you <strong>think </strong>this will be an issue, but trust, it won't.  Don't make trouble where it doesn't naturally exist.  Smile and be happy that she's sharing your day with you, and let it roll off.

cougarjamie05

Thank you for all of your responses, though some a little harsh, it was good to hear both sides. 

BeeBee22

There are not two sides.  You are wrong to expect her to put your desire for attention before her children.  As a PP said, friendship goes both ways.  Be a friend, not a bridezilla.

mellimel19

Are you having a child-free wedding? If guests are allowed to bring their children, then you can't really say that it's rude of her to bring them to the wedding. And while it might not be TOO difficult to have a sitter for the 2-year old, I'm sure that most mothers would not feel comfortable leaving a 1-month old with a sitter for a long period of time, even if the sitter is a member of their family. Try and look at it from a different point of view: This woman will have a one-month old baby, will no doubt still be recovering from her pregnancy, but still thinks that you and your big day are a priority enough for her that she wants to be there for you as your maid of honor. It's unfortunate she'll have to leave early, but as others have said, you'll be so busy you probably won't even notice she's gone.

cougarjamie05

does Bee Bee stand for BB? If it does I can only imagine what it means. You don't know me. Don't be rude.  I can only imagine if you are talking to people this way you must have been or will be a horrific bridezilla and a rotten person. I have spent my entire wedding planning process trying to make everyone else happy.   I hate to tell you this but of everyone who knows both of us and the entire story, EVERYONE has agreed with me and has thought that she is putting her own selfish needs ahead of mine.  The baby wont' even know she is gone.  It's her that will have a hard time with it.  My mother even offered to hire her a sitter to have on site so the baby could spend the whole day with her up to the ceremony and then take the baby home or to a family member's ouse and she's still freaking out.  I don't care if she leaves before the end of the evening.  But two hours is hardly enough time for the ceremony, cocktail hour, and dinner.  Is she going to give her speech and leave? Miss out on cake cutting and first dances and such? I'm sorry but that doesn't feel right to me. 

marissa_claire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-planning-leave-after-2-hours-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bc4ce875-300b-4afe-96a4-52db67c30d6bPost:40acc0f2-fe0c-4e9c-bfe1-2c926330befe">Re: MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]does Bee Bee stand for BB? If it does I can only imagine what it means. You don't know me. Don't be rude.  I can only imagine if you are talking to people this way you must have been or will be a horrific bridezilla and a rotten person. I have spent my entire wedding planning process trying to make everyone else happy.   I hate to tell you this but of everyone who knows both of us and the entire story,  EVERYONE has agreed with me and has thought that <strong>she is putting her own selfish needs ahead of mine. </strong> The baby wont' even know she is gone.  It's her that will have a hard time with it.  My mother even offered to hire her a sitter to have on site so the baby could spend the whole day with her up to the ceremony and then take the baby home or to a family member's ouse and she's still freaking out.  I don't care if she leaves before the end of the evening.  But two hours is hardly enough time for the ceremony, cocktail hour, and dinner.  Is she going to give her speech and leave? Miss out on cake cutting and first dances and such? I'm sorry but that doesn't feel right to me. 
Posted by cougarjamie05[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>For one thing, Bee Bee means baby.  You're being a baby.</div><div>
</div><div>For two, she's not putting her "own selfish needs" ahead of you - she's putting her damn child ahead of you.  She's totally within her right to do so.  She doesn't have to give a toast.  She doesn't have to do all that other stuff.  And a lot of people aren't comfortable with hiring a sitter.  For some people, their child is a few years old before they leave them with a sitter.  You're really not in a place to judge what's she comfortable with.  </div><div>
</div><div>And we're being harsh with you because all you care about is yourself.  I don't get how you have the gall to come on here and accuse someone else of being selfish when all I hear in your posts is "me me me."  Believe it or not, your wedding does not make the world stop.  People still have lives to get on with.  If they have a kid, it doesn't mean they can put them on the back burner for the entire day, so get over it.  

</div>

aerinpegadrak

Wow, who the hell are you talking to that refers to caring for a newborn, completely helpless and dependent child as a "selfish need"?  For the sake of society, I sincerely hope that those people never breed.  Good lord.

AutumnFair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-planning-leave-after-2-hours-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bc4ce875-300b-4afe-96a4-52db67c30d6bPost:40acc0f2-fe0c-4e9c-bfe1-2c926330befe">Re: MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]does Bee Bee stand for BB? If it does I can only imagine what it means. You don't know me. Don't be rude.  I can only imagine if you are talking to people this way you must have been or will be a horrific bridezilla and a rotten person. I have spent my entire wedding planning process trying to make everyone else happy.   I hate to tell you this but of everyone who knows both of us and the entire story,  EVERYONE has agreed with me and has thought that she is putting her own selfish needs ahead of mine.  The baby wont' even know she is gone.  It's her that will have a hard time with it.  My mother even offered to hire her a sitter to have on site so the baby could spend the whole day with her up to the ceremony and then take the baby home or to a family member's ouse and she's still freaking out.  I don't care if she leaves before the end of the evening.  But two hours is hardly enough time for the ceremony, cocktail hour, and dinner.  Is she going to give her speech and leave? Miss out on cake cutting and first dances and such? I'm sorry but that doesn't feel right to me. 
Posted by cougarjamie05[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Please, these are her children and one being a small 1 month old BABY! Seriously, you need to check your priorities here, she is a mother who is looking out for the best for her 1 month old BABY. You sound incredibly selfish if you think she needs to NEGLECT her children for the sake of forcing her to <strong>watch</strong> you cut a cake or dance. Seriously what if the table were turned and you just had a 1 month old child. Would you seriously think that you would just drop your 1 month old baby off to someone so you could be at the beck and call of the Bride. I do not think so, I have never in my life seen a good mother do that to her baby. So you need to let this situation go and RESPECT your MOH's decision. I can guarantee that you wouldn't have notice her gone if she never told you her intentions. If you confront her with this issue, I can already foresee you losing and causing a major rift in your relationship with your cousin. Once again, LET...IT...GO.

</div>

jemmini6

Regardless of the children issue, anyone is entiteld to leave your wedding whenever they want (aside from the bride and groom and paid vendors, of course) for any reason.  Duties of anyone in the BP are the ceremony and pictures, and ends there (and believe me, they are doing you a favor just by doing that much...weddings are not only expensive to throw, but to be in).  The reception is your way of thanking your guests for attending your ceremony, if they have other obligations or just flat out don't feel like it, then you thank them and let them leave.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-planning-leave-after-2-hours-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bc4ce875-300b-4afe-96a4-52db67c30d6bPost:c64eb530-fce6-4fc6-b044-62c48ce5daac">Re: MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Regardless of the children issue, anyone is entiteld to leave your wedding whenever they want (aside from the bride and groom and paid vendors, of course) for any reason.  Duties of anyone in the BP are the ceremony and pictures, and ends there (and believe me, they are doing you a favor just by doing that much...weddings are not only expensive to throw, but to be in).  The reception is your way of thanking your guests for attending your ceremony, if they have other obligations or just flat out don't feel like it, then you thank them and let them leave.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]
Truth.  You planning on barring the doors so no one can leave before the last dance?  Good luck with that. 

marissa_claire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-planning-leave-after-2-hours-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bc4ce875-300b-4afe-96a4-52db67c30d6bPost:8eb53109-f573-4c54-955a-a1bd67267484">Re: MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding : Truth.  You planning on barring the doors so no one can leave before the last dance?  Good luck with that. 
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Somehow this is the first time I've seen a parallel between weddings and the movie Carrie.

</div>

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-planning-leave-after-2-hours-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:bc4ce875-300b-4afe-96a4-52db67c30d6bPost:40acc0f2-fe0c-4e9c-bfe1-2c926330befe">Re: MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]does Bee Bee stand for BB? If it does I can only imagine what it means. You don't know me. Don't be rude.  I can only imagine if you are talking to people this way you must have been or will be a horrific bridezilla and a rotten person. I have spent my entire wedding planning process trying to make everyone else happy.   I hate to tell you this but of everyone who knows both of us and the entire story,  EVERYONE has agreed with me and has thought that she is putting her own selfish needs ahead of mine.  The baby wont' even know she is gone.  It's her that will have a hard time with it.  My mother even offered to hire her a sitter to have on site so the baby could spend the whole day with her up to the ceremony and then take the baby home or to a family member's ouse and she's still freaking out.  I don't care if she leaves before the end of the evening.  But two hours is hardly enough time for the ceremony, cocktail hour, and dinner.  Is she going to give her speech and leave? Miss out on cake cutting and first dances and such? I'm sorry but that doesn't feel right to me. 
Posted by cougarjamie05[/QUOTE]

I'm betting my next paycheck that you haven't had children yet.  That you don't know about having a 1 month old baby, and how when weighing the importance of being with a 1 month old over watching someone cut a piece of cake, baby wins every time.  Every.  Single.  Time.

Tell you what, darlin'~please come back here when you have a 1 month old infant and tell us all about how you left that baby for hours and hours and hours to watch someone feed another person a piece of cake.  I'll be waiting for that moment.

You and your mom are way out of line here.  And finally, we are trying to help you avoid being labeled a bridezilla.  There is a <strong><em>potential</em></strong> bridezilla on this thread.  You can find her by looking in a mirror.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-planning-leave-after-2-hours-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:bc4ce875-300b-4afe-96a4-52db67c30d6bPost:77ea93af-91ca-402c-95af-e08e80907557">Re: MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: MOH Planning to leave after 2 hours of wedding : Somehow this is the first time I've seen a parallel between weddings and the movie Carrie.
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]
Only the first time?  You haven't hung around this particular board enough.

Judith233

I just wanted to ditto what PP said.  You need a reality check and understand that a grown woman can do what she pleases.  I have 2 BMs that will have a 1 month old (or even less if either baby comes a bit late).  For that reason we are going to try our hardest to make sure the ceremony sticks to our 30 min timeline.  Then a couple pictures, and they are free to do as they please.  Why?  They owe me nothing and are grown women, like me.  Which is why I don't care if they leave. 

Oh, and one of these BMs IS my MOH.  If she has to leave to care for her child and can't give a toast, will I be mad?  No.  Why?  She's my BEST FRIEND.  Not giving a toast or missing a cake cutting won't change that reality.

MacFreitas7

OP you should just grow up and just kick her out of the wedding already!!...

I'm kidding, but that's probably what you're thinking isnt it?? If MOH can't be there for YOU then I guess you shouldn't get married in the first place!

That's what it's all about right? Your MOH being held hostage, I mean, a guest at your wedding until the bitter end? Ridiculous.


GROW. UP.