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FMIL help

Hi everyone!  Thanks for reading this.  I wanna start off by saying that I think my FMIL is great and I love her, I know she is very excited about the wedding but she's starting to drive me a little nuts, and now so is my FI.  She seems to have this idea of how the wedding will go and it doesn't exactly fit how I thought the wedding would go which makes me feel guilty and upset.   What really got me was when she told me she would show up at my house for pictures before the ceremony.  I have a small place and will have my mom, dad, matron of honor, and 2 bridesmaids there, not to mention a photographer and a videographer.  I feel bad saying this but I don't want her there.  I wanna just be with my family and bridal party at that point in the day.  My fiance then tells me that she doesn't mean she wants to get ready there with me.  He explains that she will get ready 20 minutes away in a hotel, then drive to my house to get in the limo with the bridesmaids.  Is it common for the FMIL to be in the limo with the bridesmaids?  I plan on being in the limo with the bridesmaids and my parents to get to the church.  He has 4 siblings and says that his mother always drove to the church in the limo with the bridesmaids.  He says that she is photographed by the photographer getting into the limo, I have no idea if this is normal or not but he says that his mother is part of the bridal party and she should be in there with the bridesmaids.   I"ve been in weddings before and have never had the groom's mother in the limo with me and the other girls.  My brother is getting married this December and my mother is driving with my dad in a Toyota to the wedding, she is not going to be in the limo.  To my FI that is very uncommon.  Can anyone help me out with this.  I understand that some brides may want their FMIL to be there with them getting ready and in the limo but I really don't, does that make me a rude wierdo?

Re: FMIL help

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    mgietler76mgietler76 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Take a breath, this is not as bad as you think. I know planning a wedding gets hectic and stress levels can go through the roof. I see no issue with your FMIL being there, if both of your parents are going to riding in the limo with you would it really hurt to have her along? You don't want to start your new life as part of her family with hurt feelings. I understand you want just your parents but you need to compromise and remember this isn't just your day, its a day where two seperate families are joined.

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    edited December 2011
    It would seem to make more sense for the MOG to ride to the church with the groom and his wedding party. But if it's that important to her and you have room in the limo, why not include her? Just tell her what time to be there, so you have some quiet time with your parents.

    The photographer will probably get shots of people getting out of the limo, not necessarily focusing on the MOG. If she looks like she is posing,  the photog will take her picture. You don't have to include that in your wedding album, but she might like to receive it as a gift.

    The parents are not part of the wedding party.
                       
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_fmil-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:bfdfddcf-ff1c-4fad-acd1-d4c70027914cPost:5a0f79ed-0e6a-4f15-a397-676fc4d5f1ca">Re: FMIL help</a>:
    [QUOTE] I understand you want just your parents but you need to compromise and remember this isn't just your day, its a day where two seperate families are joined.
    Posted by mgietler76[/QUOTE]

    I couldn't ahve said it better myself. She is your family now and if there's room, why not? My FMIL had two boys so she never got to have the experience of having a daughter get married away so I would love to include her in as much as she wants to be a part of! It's a special day for everyone and it's exciting that she cares to spend the day "with the girls".
    You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.- Dr. Seuss Wedding Countdown Ticker
    83 Invited image 32 Attending image2 Declined image Still Waiting 49 image
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    edited December 2011
    This...at the end of the day it's a small thing that could make "til death to you part" just a little easier.  You're going to be related to this woman until she goes to her great reward.  That could be a really long time!

    in Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_fmil-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:bfdfddcf-ff1c-4fad-acd1-d4c70027914cPost:3a0ec922-36fb-4df6-9868-0ea47d0bb7f4">Re: FMIL help</a>:
    [QUOTE]It would seem to make more sense for the MOG to ride to the church with the groom and his wedding party. But if it's that important to her and you have room in the limo, why not include her? Just tell her what time to be there, so you have some quiet time with your parents. The photographer will probably get shots of people getting out of the limo, not necessarily focusing on the MOG. If she looks like she is posing,  the photog will take her picture. You don't have to include that in your wedding album, but she might like to receive it as a gift. The parents are not part of the wedding party.
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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    sytomsytom member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    She must really love you...  I'm trying to picture myself in her shoes and I think I would rather be with my own son before the ceremony. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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    edited December 2011
    I read all these FMIL stories and it makes me realize just how great mine is.. my FI's parents are paying for most of the wedding and they pretty much want us to do whatever we want... They  have no demands or anything.. they are awesome!!

    If there is room.. then let it be.. no need to start a commotion over something so trivial
    Photobucket We're Married!!!!
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