Pregnant Bridesmaid

jcamm11

One of my BMs (FSIL) just found out she is pregnant and will be due shortly after our wedding.  She wants to stay in the wedding, and I am happy to have her.  Are there any special things I should plan to do for her?   I've heard some people say to make sure she has a chair nearby in case she needs to sit during the ceremony.

I've never been pregnant before - any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks!

vixey

I just wanted to say that you are a breath of fresh air.  So many other brides come on here wanting to kick the BM out.

Besides a chair, I have no tips.  She'll be able to let you know if she needs anything once her pregnancy progresses.

aerinpegadrak

Be flexible with her dress requirements.  It will likely be easier for her to pick up a maternity dress off the rack in a coordinating color than to try to mess with a bridal designer and guess what her size will be by then.  Even if your other girls are matching, no reasonable person would expect her to be wearing the same dress anyway, so it's fine if they don't look similar.

tldh

Thank God. I thought this would be another "she won't fit into my vision for MY day" post.

SIL had one very pregnant BM (9 months gestation with twins).  She picked a similar dress that would work with the rest of the BM's dresses.  Her husband was also nearby (as in furthest away was down the street) the entire day when everyone was getting ready. 

lalap69

I'm so happy to see such a clear-headed outlook on having a pregnant bm.

Let her sit down during the ceremony if she needs to.  If there's a maternity style of the bm dress, order that, otherwise let her wear a similar or co-ordinating dress.  I think the most important thing is just to let her know that you're happy to accommodate her so that she's comfortable approaching you if she has any needs that you or we don't think of.

jcamm11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_pregnant-bridesmaid-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:c044208e-028a-42c6-96c6-1d27cadc7712Post:c8f1c90d-fb8a-41a3-a646-749632c5b604">Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]Be flexible with her dress requirements.  It will likely be easier for her to pick up a maternity dress off the rack in a coordinating color than to try to mess with a bridal designer and guess what her size will be by then.  Even if your other girls are matching, no reasonable person would expect her to be wearing the same dress anyway, so it's fine if they don't look similar.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

Okay,  I will make sure to mention to her not to feel obligated to order when we go shopping at the end of the month.  Thanks, this is something I would not have thought of.

jcamm11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_pregnant-bridesmaid-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:c044208e-028a-42c6-96c6-1d27cadc7712Post:2520cbc7-a92c-4a01-9167-7612154dff80">Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]I just wanted to say that you are a breath of fresh air.  So many other brides come on here wanting to kick the BM out. Besides a chair, I have no tips.  She'll be able to let you know if she needs anything once her pregnancy progresses.
Posted by vixey[/QUOTE]

That's funny, as she worried I would be mad at her and kick her out when she told me. 

rodeo417

Let her wear comfy shoes and keep somw water close by to keep her hydrated. the chair is a great ideal.. Just ask her. And be patient because her nerves might be shot that day from all they joy she has for your wedding...

mgietler76

I have nothing to add other than one more thank-you for considering your friend over your wedding. I also have a pregnant BM (although her due dat is 2 weeks before the wedding) and if she is able to come I am making sure she has a chair and gave her free reign over the dress, that's all she asked for so far.

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_pregnant-bridesmaid-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:c044208e-028a-42c6-96c6-1d27cadc7712Post:03da0a3a-902b-45ca-8337-9ca275738338">Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Pregnant Bridesmaid : That's funny, as she worried I would be mad at her and kick her out when she told me. 
Posted by jcamm11[/QUOTE]

That's because people can be insane. Unlike you obviously =)

goldiegirl423

One of BMs is pregnant, and I knew she was trying to get pregnant when we went dress shopping, so I picked a dress that has an empire waist, so it will fit a pregnany belly well.

Also, I've told her that whatever shoes she wants are fine.  And I'm providing her (and the rest of the BMs) flip flops to match their dresses at the reception.  I think other than that, I've just told her that she can do whatever she feels up to.

mkrupar

Yay for you! So glad to see you don't want to kick her out! All the girls have touched on everything. Also, be understanding if she decides to leave the reception ealy because she's tired. Although, it already sounds like you will be.

2012JulyBride

The chair idea is great. As far as having it right up front with everyone else or a seat "reserved" for her in the front row with the guests will depend on how the venue is set up AND what she's most comfortable with (even if she says no to a chair, make sure she has a seat available if she does end up needing it).

There are some dress styles that come in pregnancy sizes or doing an empire waist dress could work, if there's enough extra fabric there (she can order it big and get alterations). Whenever you start looking for dresses though, talk to the employees! See what they suggest so you know in advance what to expect. For some women, it's really hard to judge how much your belly or breasts will grow in the last couple of months so ordering big may be a better solution, just in case!

Let her pick out the shoes! Some pregnant women are great in high-heels, some with a little lift, and others in flats. Her feet may be a little swollen or just be hurting that day so she may feel the most comfortable in flats.

If the venue allows, let her have water (I'm sure most venues would allow this). Not knowing what decorations you'll have, if there's somewhere for her to place it, thinking hidden behind a plant or flowers, then you can have it there for her if she needs it and it wouldn't necessarily have to be carried up and down the aisle (I'm also thinking along the lines of pictures but also her not having to carry the water and a bouquet if they have one).

If your ceremony is a little lengthy, you may want to have a side exit available for her if she needs to use the restroom...so she wouldn't have to walk down the middle aisle or block anyone's view. She could be a little more discrete that way.

Every pregnancy is different so you really will have to play it by ear closer to the wedding day. As a PP said about husband being close, have someone who isn't directly involved with the wedding (unless her husband's in the wedding party too) be able to help her if any problems arise.

Jennifer&Nate

A nearby bathroom?