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Bridesmaid But I Don't Know the Bride

So this is a weird question. My cousin asked me to be a bridesmaid at his upcoming wedding (sometime next June). However I have only meet the bride once in passing over two years ago. I also live about five hours away. How do I communicate with the bride to find out what she wants and expects of me.

Thanks

Re: Bridesmaid But I Don't Know the Bride

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    KatyRoseMKatyRoseM member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Ask for an e-mail address.  Then just write to her and ask, its best to be upfront about things.  Many people will find this whole situation weird, but thats how I would deal with it.

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    edited December 2011
    Thanks. I have been in touch via facebook with her.
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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'd find it weird to be a BM for someone I don't know.  Mixed gender sides are far more common now, as are uneven sides.

    This is a great example for people:  you should really be standing on your cousin's side, even though you don't have the same reproductive equipment as he does, and it might make for uneven sides.  But it makes far more sense.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    edited December 2011
    Trix1223 that is good advice however I do not feel it is my place to tell them where I should be in the bridal or grooms party.
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    KatyRoseMKatyRoseM member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You can't tell them you should be in the groom's party, so just try to get to know her.  They made an odd desision, but it's theirs to make. 
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    edited December 2011
    Once again thanks for all the advice. :)
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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-but-dont-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:c26b2f24-61f3-4ed6-af31-06686986e9f4Post:ebaf551c-bab1-4c7a-9d40-7caf15589e3f">Re: Bridesmaid But I Don't Know the Bride</a>:
    [QUOTE]Trix1223 that is good advice however I do not feel it is my place to tell them where I should be in the bridal or grooms party.
    Posted by kgrunow[/QUOTE]

    Actually, I wasn't trying to say that you should tell them how their wedding party will be configured.  I was only saying, or trying to say, that this is an excellent example of contemporary thinking re:  WPs being much better than the old traditional way of thinking:  that sides had to reflect gender and symmetry.

    I know you can't tell them what to do, and would never in a million years suggest that you can or should.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it's perfectly fine to suggest to them that you'd be more comfortable standing on the groom's side.  It's not like you can demand that they switch you, but it certainly can't hurt to ask.  I'd probably decline being a bridesmaid when I didn't know the bride very well.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks for your input everyone
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