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Bridesmaid Dilemma!

I chose my wedding party in approx. February, and I am getting married in July of 2011.  However, I have not spoken to one of my bridesmaids since early June.  There was no argument; we have both been busy and she has started dating someone.  I've emailed a couple times, but she has shown no iniative (or interest, for that matter) in getting together or contacting me.  Do I un-invite her as a bridesmaid?

Re: Bridesmaid Dilemma!

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    zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bridesmaid-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:c972a1dd-b290-4a35-84c0-8bb38a48d05bPost:759bd1df-50f7-4732-a911-2e48ba736d39">Bridesmaid Dilemma!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I chose my wedding party in approx. February, and I am getting married in July of 2011.  However, I have not spoken to one of my bridesmaids since early June.  There was no argument; we have both been busy and she has started dating someone.  I've emailed a couple times, but she has shown no iniative (or interest, for that matter) in getting together or contacting me.  Do I un-invite her as a bridesmaid?
    Posted by MSullivan3[/QUOTE]
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    edited December 2011
    No. But try and contact her again. maybe mention something wedding related that is time sensitive and see what happens. Just hanging out is very casual and she probably feels no pressure, but if you are going to look at BM dresses, you have to do it in a certain time frame so dresses can be ordered before the wedding.
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    zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Kicking her out of your wedding for anything short of trying to sleep with your FI or attempting to kill you or members of your family is a friendship-ending move and will make you look like a bridezilla.
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    AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just because she isn't interested in your wedding definitely is NOT a good reason for her to be kicked out. You've already said it she is busy with her life and has a new relationship. Also she may not be a person who is generally interested in weddings (yes, they are girls out there who do not love to look at decor, flowers, etc) so maybe the topic of wedding stuff isn't her thing. Forcing her and punishing her for not being interested in your wedding is wrong, so I would suggest to get over her lack of interest and just continue on (if you have friends who are into weddings stuff then chat with them about your wedding stuff).
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    nannewmurnannewmur member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My daughter just had a similiar situation except it was the Bride who would not respond.  My daughter decided to drop out of wedding after Bride finally responded.  I am not saying you feel this way, but  the Bride felt like her wedding would be the most amazing day in my daughter's life (Bride's exact words.)  I explained to DD many brides don't understand that their attendants have busy lives and the only thing an attendant has to do is show up to wedding wearing what was asked.  On this note, just send a "Hey, I miss talking to you and need to catch up, please call me by (insert date) so I can fill you in" text or FB message.  Many people loss track of time and by putting in a date it is more likely to be done.  Replacing her looks bad on you.
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    heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    You admitted yourself that you've both just been busy, there wasn't any argument.
    Let it go. It is not the BM's role to help with wedding planning, unless they offer.

    Remember that kicking someone out of the WP is a friendship ending move. So do you want to end your friendship wiith this girl?

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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    DH couldn't get hold of his best man for four months.  He tried repeatedly, but apparently the dude was just busy.  They're still good friends; in fact, we're going up to visit him this weekend.

    Friendships wax and wane, and very good friends can go a really long time without even speaking to each other just because life gets in the way.  Unless you're prepared never to speak to her again for the rest of your life, don't boot her.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    edited December 2011
    Sometimes I don't talk to some of my best friends for months at a time.  We are all busy people/work different hours/have lives of our own.  It's really not a big deal.
    image
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    graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Kicking someone out for something like that would be a bad move. It would make you look like a jerk and you'd probably never speak again. If she wants to drop out because she's too busy, that is her perogative and if she continues to ignore you, chances are she might. But it is still her call to make. I would keep trying to get in touch and ask her specific questions regarding the wedding. If it gets time to order dresses and she still wont get back to you, that's when you have to worry.
    Photobucket
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