Mom wants to walk me down the aisle but i have other plans

JCM7885

Ok the story is that my mom had assumed that she would be walking me down the aisle since i dont know my father. I dont have a grandfather or an uncle that could take that place.  But I informed my mother on a wedding outing that she would not be walking me down the aisle and that my brother who i just met about 5 months ago would be doing it.  She got upset with me and didnt talk to me for a week.  But she would like her ex husband, who has no relationship to me and that i have only seen twice and talked to 4 times in my entire 25yrs of life, walk me down the aisle instead of my brother.. I really want my brother to do it because thats the closest  thing that i'll have to my father actuallly doing it...  So this has been goin on about 2 months and Ive chosen to leave this subject alone until it gets closer to my wedding to deal with it.  SO i just need advice on actually what i can do!!!!  But she did say that she would rather me walk down the aisle by myself that "to have that brother" of mine to walk me down the aisle.. HELP!!!! I dont want to lose my mother over this...

tldh

You didn't say how this brother is related to you.  I don't want to jump to conclusions but more information would be helpful to try to see where your mom may be coming from.

rknox88

Walk it yourself, girl.  A man doesn't have to walk you down the aisle.  Although meeting your brother I am sure was very special to you don't just have him walk you down the aisle because he is a male family member. 

AutumnFair

I think you need to wait this out for now. Your wedding isn't until next year and when you get closer you can really feel out what you want to do. But I will say, no matter what your mom says, choose who YOU want to walk you down be it your brother or yourself. 

CaseyandSalley

you gotta do what you feel is best for you. I dont know my dad well either, and it PLEASES my mom to say that he will not be walking me down the isle however I told her she wasnt either, that bummed her out. She has to accept my decision, she also suggested my brother but we DO NOT get along very well. So Im walking myself down the isle. I dont feel that im a piece of property to give a way ya know?

MairePoppy

Why did you decide against having your mom walk you? If she brought you up and you've had a decent relationship with her, I can understand why she would assume she would get that honor.

And why does she resent your brother so much? You've just met him 5 months ago, why don't you give everyone a little time to adjust before you make this decision? Once she realizes that your relationship with your brother doesn't take anything away from your relationship with her, she might be more accepting.

suz62984

I would wait this out. It sounds like this brother is from an ex of hers that possibly came about in a bad way. She may get feelings of resentment, anger, sadness, etc when she sees him. I would just walk it alone. You've only known your brother for 5 months. You're mother has been dreaming of this day for years. Walk it alone to avoid hurt feelings and drama all the way around. You don't have to find some guy to walk with you just because you feel like you should.

pizzanfries4me

You do what you think is best for you... If I were in your shoes I'd pick your brother and since it is you and your husbands day your mom doesn't have any room to decide. If she wants to get snippy about it I'd say just that - and then maybe I'd decide to just walk myself.
But I would def go w/ brother first!
Good Luck

garggrl

You should have your mother walk you down the aisle. I haven't had a relationship with my father for almost 2 years now, so figuring out who was going to was an issue i had to deal with. I thought maybe my cusin who is like an older brother to me would, but instead we made him a GM. I thought about walking myself, but I thought having support would be a great thing. So that only left my mother, and I'm glad I picked her, because there is no one else I am closer to than my mom.
If you just meet your "brother", he shouldn't walk you down the aisle. The person who is supposed to walk you down the aisle, is someone you have known your whole life, who has supported you your whole life, and who cares about you. Don't pick someone just because they're your "brother", or because they are male, or no one. Pick someone who has been there for you.
Also, having someone walk you down the aisle, doesn't mean they HAVE to give you away. I was given the option to either have my mom walk me down the aisle and give me away, or just have her walk me down the aisle as support and to honor her for alwasy being there.

lilcassers

I am having my mom walk me. Even though I have a dad and grew up with him (parents were married for 30 yrs and divorced last year), he has not been there for me emotionally. He thinks paying for my college, cell, and medical stuff means he is a good dad. WRONG. I chose my mom because she has been my support all my life. I understand you wanting to have a male walk you, but shouldn't it be who is closest to you and who has been there your whole life.

Here is an option that has become quite popular.... 2 people walking you.

Why not have your mom & brother??