should i add FSIL as BM

babiegirl16123

In need of some advice. So I am getting married this june. We have included all of our siblings in the wedding expect my FI oldest sister. The sister and I have had a on off relationship due to some issues prior to the engagement, but now we have seen past the issues we had and have moved on. We get along better than before and I am starting to feel bad that she is not in the wedding. If we include her we will have 4 BM's and 3 GM. What should I do?

lisarose7

1) Uneven sides are okay, so don't let that influence your decision

2) No one can decide this for you but you.  Is it more important to add her, or is it more important to leave things as they are?

babiegirl16123

I feel it is important to have her in the wedding not only to make my FI happy but i also feel it will make our relationship better. I know my moh does not care for my fsil but to bad i guess. I feel bad wanting to ask her 2 1/2 months away from my wedding.

lisarose7

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_should-add-fsil-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:d92de8ff-3ad3-4570-9a37-9ba60fe7888fPost:82de9e9e-ea3e-4fc9-8106-2b7348bf1178">Re: should i add FSIL as BM</a>:
[QUOTE]I feel it is important to have her in the wedding not only to make my FI happy but i also feel it will make our relationship better. <strong>I know my moh does not care for my fsil but to bad i guess.</strong> I feel bad wanting to ask her 2 1/2 months away from my wedding.
Posted by babiegirl16123[/QUOTE]

Exactly.  Don't let other members of the WP influence your decision.  If you want to ask her, ask her.  If you're not sure, don't.

fancieface

I would ask her. I had the same question about my FSIL because her and I are not really close. I'm so glad I asked her. I have uneven sides and I don't really care about that. We have 3 BM"s and 4 GM.

mandi921vh

I would say if it's going to cause family drama if she is not a BM and your ILs will be bitter about it forever then I would suck it up and ask her. 

em01092

I agree with Mandi. Especially because you said you are including all of your other siblings but her. Wouldn't you feel left out if you were the one sibling excluded? Unless she did something really awful to you and you have solid justification for not liking her, then I say ask. 

The wedding is one day. The marriage and the union of the families lasts much longer. Do you really want to strain that relationship with your FSIL/ILs?

Your call.