mom and sister drama

kaitlyn&henry

Hey everyone! I know most brides are probably familiar with some drama or stress when it comes to planning but i wanted to get outsiders opinions on this matter. 

I am a triplet (its two girls and a boy) and i have two older sisters. I am very very close with my one older sister and always have been where as my triplet sister--we always fight and never get along. Not to mention, she originally said some very mean and unsupportive things about me and my fiance when we first were together which is about a year ago. She also had tried dating him before we were together. But i still love her and weve been getting along lately. 

With that said. i asked my older sister that im best friends with to be my MOH and its been decided for some time now. Now that its time to order dresses and my MOH is different my mother and triplet sister are insisting i should ask her too. They even uninvited came to my house which turned into lots of tears asking my why i wont ask, and i need to otherwise i forever tarnish my relationship with my triplet sister. 

my fiance needless to say wasnt pleased and thinks i made my choice and no one should question it or make me do anything. I just dont want to ask her, we arent close and dont get along. Its all for the image of what people will see. 

Anyway its either stick to my guns and answer no once and for all and have my mother be disappointed for the rest of my life and on my wedding day in 7 months as well as my triplet sister be catty---or try to come up with a compromise (i refuse to put her in the same dress as my current MOH) I was thinking to put her in the same dress as the bridesmaid just with a different color sash and have her in the program as one of my MOH and make a speech my wedding day. 

what do you guys think? sorry for the length! but i just want it to go away.

LoveMuffins

I'm a little confused.. is she already a Bridesmaid but now wants to be a MOH? If that's the case, I might ask my MOH if she's ok with just having the title "Bridesmaid". It sounds like you already have a pretty small wedding party (1 MOH and 1 BM?) so no one would think anything of it. Generally the MOH is "supposed" to kind of be the lead bridesmaid on helping the bride (yes future posters, I know, everyone just has to show up in their dress on the day of with no other duties - in which case it REALLY doesn't matter who has the title and there's no point in having a separate MOH anyway), but if you have that small a bridal party, it's all probably going to be pretty equal anyway with whatever "duties" they decide to share.

Now, if it's that she's not a Bridesmaid and she wants to be... I can understand why she'd be a little hurt. After all, you asked your other sister, even if you are closer, generally when one sister is asked to be in a bridal party, so are the others. Even being lukewarm about the groom doesn't usually take away from that. However, according to your post, your triplet sister actually dated the guy too? Personally, I think it's a little awkward that she'd want to be in the party, but it would also explain why she said negative things about him when you two first got together. Sisters are always competitive, and if she tried dating him first and it didn't work out, did you really expect her to be supportive of you taking a turn?

I think a lot of it's going to come down to personality. If you think that your sister will calm down and stop being a drama queen once she's a BM... well why not ask her and make life a little easier? If you think that she will be catty or controlling once she is a BM... I would probably stick to my guns and just keep who you already have.

But to be totally honest... if I had three sisters, and I wanted to ask one of them to be my MOH, I would ask the other two to be Bridesmaids. Cuz right now, it kinda seems like you've chosen a favorite sister, and like your triplet sister is so unimportant to you that you don't want her in the wedding party at all... if I were her, I don't think I'd ask to be a part of it, but I'd be really hurt that you hadn't asked me.