Moms and Maids

Keeping my mother involved

My mother is in a nursing home due to MS. She's bedridden, has pretty bad eyesight, and is usually pretty exhausted. But that doesn't keep her from being really excited about her first daughter getting married. She's always been very independent, so it's especially hard on her that she cannot be at appointments and whatnot with me like she always thought she would be. She requested that she be allowed to pick out our minister, so we'll very gladly let her do it. I've tried to bring in bridal magazines and the sort but, she's unable to hold them or really get a good look at the pictures in them. What are some other ways to keep her involved? TIA!
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Re: Keeping my mother involved

  • jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Maybe take pictures of you when you go to try dresses on to show her and keep visiting and talking to her about it.

  • edited December 2011
    Aww, I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. That is a very dehabilitating disease.

    How often do you visit or speak with her? Assuming she is alert mentally, I would just keep her informed in conversation about all the progress. I like the idea of showing her pics or trying to describe ideas to her.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry your mom isn't well enough to help as much as she'd like. Even if she can't see the pictures well or hold the magazines you bring to her, I'm sure she appreciates the efforts that you have made.

    You could make an idea board for mom by clipping out pictures of the things that you like and pasting them on poster board. Display it in her room. I'm sure she will enjoy looking at it and her visitors and caregivers will have a conversation starter.

    Other than that, just keep your mom updated on your plans, as you go along. The most important role for the MOB is listening.

    Your mom must be very proud to have such a thoughtful daughter. Best wishes.
  • tesskerrtesskerr member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I love the idea of an "idea board" to show people who come and visit. You could do things like bring her a bunch of flowers from the florist you have chosen, maybe similar to what you will pick, or if you are deciding between two places, you could bring her one bunch one week, and another bunch another week, and ask which she likes best (might be pricey though, but if you got a bunch from the florist already made up, or a more simple bunch of your "main" flower, it might not be too pricey)

    You could do the same with cake from your bakery, bring her a couple of slices (doesn't have to be your actual cake of course, but maybe just something from the bakery if they have a commercial shop), or a couple of cup cakes, if she is not on a restricted diet (I know that there has been a lot of success with low GI diets and MS)

    Bring in a couple of fabric swatches that you are thinking of having your bridesmaids, of even your dress. Help her pick her outfit, paint her fingers and toes for her to match (my mum would have to have that done!)

    It is so nice that you are so thoughtful, I read this board everyday and it's usually "my mom is so horrible! she wants to bake my cake! she is ruining my wedding!"

    Good luck!

  • edited December 2011
    I knew I loved the TK forum!

    Thank you so much for the ideas, everyone. So far, she should be able to attend the ceremony, and hopefully part of the reception. I think staying for the whole thing will be challenging but, she may be able to. I picked a venue that is about 10 minutes from her nursing home and the hospital, so she can be comfortable knowing she's not far from help if necessary.

    I love the idea board! It would certainly help to decorate her room, too. I have plenty to put on an idea board for her, and I think she would be really excited to have it in her room. I think even if she can't see the details of what's on it, she'll be really happy just at the thought of it. FI and I usually see her every weekend, so it will be nice to keep her up-to-date on everything.

    And as far as the cake suggestion - brilliant idea! If there's one thing my mum loves, it's cake. Laughing
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