Moms and Maids
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Reasons people want to be Maid of Honour & Bridesmaids

I am wondering why people feel motivated to be Bridesmaids and Maids of Honours for weddings. I mean my own motivations are about ensuring my friend has the best wedding day possible, has a great start to his/her marriage and do what I can to make her journey to the wedding as stress free as possible. Have you come across another reason people want to be Bridesmaids and Maids of Honours?
What are you hoping for from your Bridesmaids and Maids of Honours?

Re: Reasons people want to be Maid of Honour & Bridesmaids

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    AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_reasons-people-want-moh-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:df796744-764f-4173-a044-d53f6a6ca0e0Post:f1b58e34-e45c-408b-aecb-605f4e0ae976">Reasons people want to be MOH & BM</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am wondering why people feel motivated to be BMs and MOHs for weddings. I mean my own motivations are about ensuring my friend has the best wedding day possible, has a great start to his/her marriage and do what I can to make her journey to the wedding as stress free as possible. Have you come across another reason people want to be BMs and MOHs? What are you hoping for from your BMs and MOHs?
    Posted by KaitlynMc[/QUOTE]

    <div>Alright, every time I go or are in a wedding and I think of bridesmaids I think of those being the closest people to the Bride. That the Bride chose them to HONOR her closest friends and family. I do NOT see Bridesmaids as being personal assistants to the Bride throughout her wedding planning, last time I checked they have a person who makes a career out of that, we call them Event/Wedding Planners. When I get asked to be a bridesmaid it is because the person is close to me, I usually volunteer for things because I really like doing crafty stuff and spending time with my friend. I have actually had to decline stuff before because of work or other commitments. Did the Bride get all disappointed and passive aggressive, no, they knew the TRUE meaning of the word bridesmaid. </div><div>
    </div><div>So really, the only expectation ANY person should have about a BM is that she buys her own dress (the Bride should ask each BM in private their budget) and show up to the wedding and walk down the aisle. That is it.</div>
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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I honestly don't really know anyone who actively wants to be a bridesmaid.  I mean, I'm honored to be asked, but I'm not chomping at the bit to be shelling out money for stuff I'm never going to wear again and standing for the ceremony.  I think it would be really awkward for someone to be "motivated" to be a BM.  That's not her call, it's the bride's.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I honestly don't see a point for BMs.  A MOH is the person who is a trusted friend of the Bride.  I've always taken it to mean that it's "your person" - the one who is always on your side and would give you a hug or a smack upside the head if you needed it.  It's that person saying, "I believe in this marriage - I believe it's what's best for my friend, and I support her."

    In my case, my MOH will be my brother - he'll be a BOH (Brother of Honor).

    I don't get why people "honor" their friends - this is about the couple and those closest to them, why select among your guests your "favorites"?  Isn't everyone invited to your wedding supposed to be an honored guest?  It is an honor to be invited to someone's wedding, so I never saw the need to "honor" certain family members.  If they had something to do with your relationship, like introducing you, and you want to give them something special then have them do a reading or a toast.  But making them parade down an aisle and stand up in front of a crowd in clothes that they likely will never wear again?  Not an honor.

    Now, if one of my friends invited me to be a BM, I would do it gladly because I want them to be happy.  I'd be thrilled to plan a shower and a bachelorette party for my close friends.  But you know what?  I'd be thrilled to do that regardless of whether I was a BM or not.

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    edited December 2011
    I don't really get why people really want to be a BM either.  FI' sister really wanted to be a BM and I didn't understand why.  She was bitter towards all things wedding (she wasn't engaged at the time, waiting on the ring for over four years) and she doesn't even like me.  I still am not really sure why she really wanted to be a BM.  

    I've actually never been a BM (not many girlfriends, and the few GFs I do have probably won't get married any time soon) but I think I will be a total PITA when that day comes.  "You want me to shell out $200 for that orange and aqua-striped gown I'll wear once?  I'll "step down" thank you."  
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    calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My closest girlfriends have told me that they've already started figuring out what they'll want to do for my bachelorette and shower (I'm not engaged yet, but it'll be in the next year).  But one of my closest girl friends came up to me and said, "You know I love you, but please don't make me a bridesmaid.  I'll do it if you really want me to, but I have absolutely no desire to stand up in front of everyone and hold a bouquet."

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    edited December 2011
    I've never been a bridesmaid, and frankly, after seeing the lack of consideration displayed by some of the brides with whom I've recently come in contact, I can't think of a single reason I would actively WANT to be one.  Would I do it, if I were asked?  Absolutely.  Would I volunteer, or get my nose bent if I weren't asked?  Not a snowball's chance in Hell.

    Some of the brides I've seen recently make me want to go survey my bridesmaids and make sure I'm not being a prissy little snot.  If any of my girls are reading this, and feel that I have indeed been a prissy little snot, please accept my sincere and heartfelt apologies.  You may feel free to flog me with my bouquet.

    (Just for the record, II flatly refuse to abbreviate a person's title with the same abbreviation for "bowel movement"...where I come from, that's just rude.)
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    filawfilaw member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I totally am "chomping at the bit", but only for specific people.  Those are the people that are special in my life and that I would be honored to share that time with them, and happy to be a part of it.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_reasons-people-want-moh-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:df796744-764f-4173-a044-d53f6a6ca0e0Post:82eed1f9-b3e3-403e-a7d9-6e5639a739e4">Re: Reasons people want to be MOH & BM</a>:
    [QUOTE]I honestly don't really know anyone who actively wants to be a bridesmaid.  I mean, I'm honored to be asked, but I'm not chomping at the bit to be shelling out money for stuff I'm never going to wear again and standing for the ceremony.  I think it would be really awkward for someone to be "motivated" to be a BM.  That's not her call, it's the bride's.
    Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.</div>
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    graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Maybe they want to be with their friend every step of the way, plan her parties, and stand with her to support her marriage. And some people are just AWs. 
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    lynnmfranklynnmfrank member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
     I can tell you that my experience as a young woman watching her friends get married (I'm now a 47 year-old bride,) was that people who really were "into" being bridesmaids, meaning they asked to be asked and seemed to appear in a matching dress at almost everyone's event, were doing it because they liked the attention, getting dressed up and, quite honestly, being on display.

    I fulfilled the same need by performing as a singer and an actress, but for some folks, this is their only outlet for being "on stage."  I can't explain it, but it seemed to boost their self-esteem--if only for a day.

    My FI and I have asked our respective two teenage daughters to attend me, because they are our kids and we want them to be standing next to us when we take our vows. 
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