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Matron of Honor vs. Maid of Honor or both!?!?

Bride2b410Bride2b410 member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
My FSIL whom I love is married and I would love for her to be my Matron of Honor. My sister is not married but I also want her to be my Maid of Honor... Can I have both? I think my FSIL would definitely be more helpful as far as planning, but I want my sister by my side as well.... Please give me your opinion. Thanks!

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Re: Matron of Honor vs. Maid of Honor or both!?!?

  • Bride2b410Bride2b410 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    also.... how do I fix my lil tracker thingy??
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  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yes, you can have both.

    Please remember you should never pick people based on what they can do for you because it is not required of them.
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_matron-of-honor-vs-maid-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:e195a81b-94c4-4c7d-a19c-907dacd409aePost:ebb075c2-08c0-435d-b29a-71ad3f8bb805">Matron of Honor vs. Maid of Honor or both!?!?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FSIL whom I love is married and I would love for her to be my Matron of Honor. My sister is not married but I also want her to be my Maid of Honor... Can I have both? I think my FSIL would definitely be more helpful as far as planning, but I want my sister by my side as well.... Please give me your opinion. Thanks!
    Posted by Bride2b410[/QUOTE]
    If you'd only want FSIL because you think she'd be more helpful, don't ask her.  MOH shouldn't be a reward for helping, and people will help as much or as little as they want regardless of title.

    If you genuinely can't choose between them, by all means, have both.  Just be realistic about your expectations.
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    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You can, of course, have both.  But neither should be chosen as a reward for anticipated services.  It should be a reflection of how much you care about them.

    GL.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • Bride2b410Bride2b410 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I must have come across completely wrong in my post. I love both my sister and FSIL very much, and they are my best friends. I just wasn't sure how to make the decision of who to be maid/matron of honor. I definitely want both but didn't know if that was accepted. Thanks for the insight. I would never pick one over who would do more for me. Sorry if it came across that way. 
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Two MsOH are very common.  I would avoid the term "matron" since, as a young married person, it makes me feel like an old prison marm.  
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
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  • vicki0508vicki0508 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You can also choose to not give titles to either of them.  You can just have all of your BMs be BMs and divvy up the special duties (holding the bouquet, signing as the witness, etc). 

    But there is nothing wrong with having one be the matron of honor and the other be the maid of honor.
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  • kellya01kellya01
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    To fix your wedding ticker, you just need to create a new one (make sure you put in the correct date, double-check the year box to be sure), and then copy/paste the new ticker code into your signature box.  

    My SIL is actually proud to be called my "matron of honor."  She just turned 30 and it doesn't make her feel old.  I guess we're a little steeped in tradition (and conservative at that), but in our family, maid of honor are if your MOH isn't married, and matron of honor is if your MOH is married, without any regard to age.  I did get a little chuckle at the reference of feeling like an "old prison marm," though.  You guys are funny!! :-) 

    Oh, and whatever you want to do as far as one, the other, or both... it can't be an easy decision regardless of which way it goes.  Good luck!! 
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  • Magdala9Magdala9 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I had two MOH both Matrons.  One is a best friend who is a ditzy as they make while the other could give Martha Stewart a run for her money.  The biggest challenge was to get them to work together.      I ended up defining specific roles for each and had back up plans for my lovable ditz.  
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  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_matron-of-honor-vs-maid-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:e195a81b-94c4-4c7d-a19c-907dacd409aePost:cd4edf8f-4655-4c4f-889f-644c1a62f159">Re: Matron of Honor vs. Maid of Honor or both!?!?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I had two MOH both Matrons.  One is a best friend who is a ditzy as they make while the other could give Martha Stewart a run for her money. <strong> The biggest challenge was to get them to work together.      I ended up defining specific roles for each and had back up plans for my lovable ditz.  </strong>
    Posted by Magdala9[/QUOTE]

    Once again, you should never <em>force </em>people, even WP members to do your wedding stuff, and pre-wedding parties. I don't know what roles you specifically split up for the MOH but the only ones that actually have are being closest to you, holding your bouquet, signing the marriage license. If you have <em>any</em> more things that you "split" up for them then you were micromanaging, so hopefully your friends brushed that aside and chalked it up to the "wedding crazies".
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_matron-of-honor-vs-maid-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:e195a81b-94c4-4c7d-a19c-907dacd409aePost:cd4edf8f-4655-4c4f-889f-644c1a62f159">Re: Matron of Honor vs. Maid of Honor or both!?!?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I had two MOH both Matrons.  One is a best friend who is a ditzy as they make while the other could give Martha Stewart a run for her money.  The biggest challenge was to get them to work together.      I ended up defining specific roles for each and had back up plans for my lovable ditz.  
    Posted by Magdala9[/QUOTE]
    <groan />
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
  • vicki0508vicki0508 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_matron-of-honor-vs-maid-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:e195a81b-94c4-4c7d-a19c-907dacd409aePost:cd4edf8f-4655-4c4f-889f-644c1a62f159">Re: Matron of Honor vs. Maid of Honor or both!?!?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I had two MOH both Matrons.  One is a best friend who is a ditzy as they make while the other could give Martha Stewart a run for her money.  The biggest challenge was to get them to work together.      I ended up defining specific roles for each and had back up plans for my lovable ditz.  
    Posted by Magdala9[/QUOTE]
    I'm sure the "ditz" didn't catch on that you were giving the important things to the other MOH, and giving her ridiculous mundane jobs that even <em>she</em> couldn't mess up!  At least you picked a second MOH that could be useful - that's what's most important.  Ugh.
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  • DNAtimeDNAtime
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yea, don't play your MsOH against each other to work like our friend here. But definitely have both.....
    I will be married by the time I am the MOH for my MOH's wedding. I asked if I could still be maid and not matron. It makes me feel old.
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  • golden1215golden1215 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_matron-of-honor-vs-maid-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:e195a81b-94c4-4c7d-a19c-907dacd409aePost:fefbd5b5-b668-48ba-a7dd-1fec73a95522">Re: Matron of Honor vs. Maid of Honor or both!?!?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Two MsOH are very common.  I would avoid the term "matron" since, as a young married person, it makes me feel like an old prison marm.  
    Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

    really?  I thought matron was standard for any married lady?  My MOH was 26 but I still called/listed her as my Matron of Honor....
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_matron-of-honor-vs-maid-of-honor?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:e195a81b-94c4-4c7d-a19c-907dacd409aePost:351c803d-48c7-460e-b8e1-ed7c578c120e">Re: Matron of Honor vs. Maid of Honor or both!?!?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Matron of Honor vs. Maid of Honor or both!?!? : really?  I thought matron was standard for any married lady?  My MOH was 26 but I still called/listed her as my Matron of Honor....
    Posted by golden1215[/QUOTE]
    It's a bit antiquated IMHO (we don't signify marital status in any other context, we use Ms. instead of Miss or Mrs. on official documents), and I just feel old when I hear it.  I know I'm not the only one.  As someone young (26), given the choice, I'd prefer "maid."
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
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