Struggeling with who to make my MOH

kimmyd584

I’m having a hard time choosing a maid of honor.  Normally a sister would be chosen but my sister and I have never really had that Sister bond like most girls do. We have always fought and I have always dealt with her being extremely jealous of everything I do and is very mean spirited towards me and has always made rude comments in front of family and friends. I just don’t feel like if she were chosen, she would take the job seriously and try to do the best job for me  because it may not be “ as good” as what she had at her wedding, which I was the maid of honor for and tried my very best to please her. She has already made comments like “ well everyone just acts like your wedding will be the wedding of the century and no one acted like that for us” or “why do you need that? We didn’t have that?” I haven’t announced who I am choosing because I am torn. I have 2 best friends I am debating between also. Someone suggested I just have 3 MOH, or choose a best friend and my sister. Or just have the two best friends and not my sister. IM just worried of the drama it will cause if I do not ask  my sister to be my MOH

lisaandcorey

What about the drama she will cause you if you do ask her?

GeauxTigers17

It sounds like asking her to be your MOH is going to cause much more drama than not asking her.

If I was in your situation, I'd probably make my 2 best friends the maids of honor, and not risk hurt feelings by choosing between them if you don't have a clear choice.

AutumnFair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_struggeling-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:e23b72ae-de21-45d8-890a-80127e03ce9dPost:45b29831-fe17-460f-a7e9-1cb177869abb">Struggeling with who to make my MOH</a>:
[QUOTE]I’m having a hard time choosing a maid of honor.   Normally a sister would be chosen but my sister and I have never really had that Sister bond like most girls do. We have always fought and I have always dealt with her being extremely jealous of everything I do and is very mean spirited towards me and has always made rude comments in front of family and friends. I just don’t feel like if she were chosen, she would take the job seriously and try to do the best job for me   because it may not be “ as good” as what she had at her wedding, which I was the maid of honor for and tried my very best to please her. She has already made comments like “ well everyone just acts like your wedding will be the wedding of the century and no one acted like that for us” or “why do you need that? We didn’t have that?” I haven’t announced who I am choosing because I am torn. I have 2 best friends I am debating between also. Someone suggested I just have 3 MOH, or choose a best friend and my sister. Or just have the two best friends and not my sister. IM just worried of the drama it will cause if I do not ask   my sister to be my MOH
Posted by kimmyd584[/QUOTE]

<div>Remember your "expectations" for MOH should be like the BMs they get the dress chosen (in which you ask their budgets) and show up to the ceremony sober. You don't base it off "who is going to throw me awesome parties and help me make tedious DIY projects". 
</div><div>
</div><div>Family, specifically sisters, are not automatic for role of BM or MOH. If you really dislike her then you don't have to have her as MOH. That beings said if causing a huge amount of drama is in the works then it might be easier to just do it (like I said, she does not have to do anything besides getting the dress). </div><div>
</div><div>I recommend not having a MOH, you don't technically need one. Anyone can sign the marriage licenses and you can decide who stands closest to you. If you can't decide with just have 1, 2, or 3 then just go for none. </div>

RMacQueen

You don't have to have a MOH. 

noodle_oo

I think it would be a major insult to not have your sister as your MOH, especially if you choose 2 of your best friends over her and you were her MOH.  In your case, I would probably either have 1 friend and your sister be MOHs, or just don't have a MOH.  Tell them you couldn't choose among them and just have them all be BMs.  Also, 3 MOHs is just crazy (unless you have 9 BMs to go with them).  You can't have more MOHs than BMs (new rule, I made it up).

vixey

Will you have other BMs in addition to your sister and two friends?  Because it would be weird to have 3 MOHs and no BMs.  Or 3 MOHs and 1 BM.  In order to avoid drama, I think you should just call them all BMs and not designate one above the other.   If you really think your sister would cause tons of drama over not being the MOH, then call her the MOH.  BMs and MOHs don't have any mandatory tasks except for standing up with you at the ceremony, so it's not like she can do a sub par job with something.  Your two other friends can gratituously help you with things and just leave your drama queen sister out of it.

Habs2Hart

Agree with PP's.  Don't have a MOH.  Ask someone outside of the WP to be your witness.  Just have 3 BM's. 

SeptemberFall2011

My fiance had that problem.  He had 2 best friends that he wanted as a best man and since he could not choose between the two he chose another friend.  I think maybe you could do that.

MRads

You can do whatever you want...I dont love the whole idea around a wedding that its your day and you can do what you want, but in this instance, if there is somebody you want as MOH, make her MOH, if not, that's not a choice people should criticize you on and your friends will understand.  Having said that, (and this will be hypocritical) I am a little (ok, more than a little) annoyed that my sister decided she just couldn't possibly choose between me and my other sister as MOH, so we both were going to be.  But she told my other sister to have a toast ready and that she would be standing next to her, but as a MOH, I was supposed to plan the majority of my sisters wedding shower (though my sister acted like the host - i said I was annoyed)...if you have two MOH, treat them equally or pick one...I wouldn't be hurt if I weren't MOH and Im more hurt that Im doing the work of a MOH, but my sister really is the MOH...sorry, rant over...and btw, Im not picking my sisters as MOH...not because of this situation, but because I've always been closer to my friends and my sisters will understand, as much as I understand why my best friend (who will be my MOH) picked her sister as her MOH

aroosgabby

whatever you do, DO NOT put ur sister up if you feel that way about her.