Moms and Maids
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Sister in laws in the wedding?

Okay so I have 3 future sister-in-laws. They are all great. I am closer with one of them than any. She is closer in agae and lives in the same satate as me. The other 2 live in different areas, and I see them 1-2 times a year. They are also quite a bit older, I am 25 and one is 37, single and the other is 34, married and pregnant. Should I offer to put them all in the wedding? Can I ask only one? I feel like they probably dont even want to be in a wedding. Or at least the one who has a child and one on the way... Help!!

Re: Sister in laws in the wedding?

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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Don't make assumptions about whether they will or won't accept.  If you want them in your wedding ask them.  If you don't, don't ask.  But don't base asking on what you think they maybe, might, could possibly say.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    edited December 2011
    No, you don't have to ask all of them.  I'd be very surprised if they expect you to.  It is a nice gesture to have one though...so pick the one you are closer to.  Many moons ago, I was in the same place.  My husband has 4 sisters.  I picked the youngest.  The other three never mentioned it!
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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    edited December 2011
    I didn't ask my FSIL to be in the wedding. I only wanted a MOH anyway. Besides, FSIL is in another state and we aren't all that close to begin with, so it would just be forced. I like her, she's a great person, but there's no need to go out of my way to include her.

    Just ask the people you feel closest to.
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    edited December 2011
    I'm close to my future sister in law, but i'm not asking her to be in the wedding since we're keeping it small. She has graciously offered to help in any area, including taking pics or doing the video. Remember that they can also do other things, such as handing out programs, etc. if you want them to have some part in the wedding.
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    jaimed99jaimed99 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Both of my FI's sisters are in our wedding...we all went to school together (I graduated with one of the sisters). I wanted them to be in the WP because we're pretty close and although I don't expect them to do anything, I know they'll be there to offer assistance or suggestions (his family is VERY opinionated lol). My suggestion is if the one sister is close to you, ask her...if you want to ask them all, ask them...and don't assume that just because one has kids and is married, that she wouldn't want to be in your WP. It's your wedding party...so choose who you want.

    BTW, my brother is also one of FI's GM :)
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    karenwjackmkarenwjackm member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My oldest sister was closest to our future SIL when my brother got married and so she was the only one asked to be in the wedding party.  My other sister and I acted as hostesses and were very happy to help in any way.  Do what feels right to you.
    As my fiance is fond of saying, "Just Relax....."
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    felicia220felicia220 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I had a very different experience.  I am only doing a MOH and I recently found out that my FSIL was upset about this.  She did expect to be in the wedding and we had no idea.  It took her 8 months to say something about being upset.  While I don't think that we would have changed our minds about having a WP, I would have like to know instead of her being upset for 8 months.  My point is don't assume anything.  If you want them to be in it ask.  If you want to ask just the one, I would turn to your FMIL and explain the situation and say you don't want to upset the other two, ask for her advice on how to handle it. 

    While I don't think anyone should ever expect to be in a wedding party, I do see how some feel entitled to it.  I personally don't care either way.  If I was in my brother's wedding great, if not I am still his sister so what difference does it make.  Like I said, thats just me.  
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    dandelion17dandelion17 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    IF you aren't very close to them, you could always ask them to be attendants or do a reading and ask the one your close to, to be a bridesmaid.
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