.

avanvalk1989

MOH

ehathewa

1.  You don't get special months.  You get a special day.
2.  I think that the bigger problem here is that she is thinking she is getting married to a 16 year old... um... legal issues?  Be supportive of the new relationship (being in love is great and exciting and fun!), but let her know that there is time, lots of time, before a wedding. 

aerinpegadrak

I think you can gently tell her that you want her wedding dress shopping to be special, so you should save that for a different trip closer to her wedding.  Is she always like this with new relationships?  A lot of people are.  She's not being malicious or anything, and life doesn't stop just for your wedding.  Just humor her, and if you can't take it anymore, stop talking wedding details with her (thereby cutting off her avenue of talking about her own wedding).

kayboo1218

Well, I can understand why you would be irritated. I do think it is insensitive of her to tell you she wants to dress shop for herself on a day you put aside specifically for your wedding, but honestly I wouldn't let it get the best of me. You only get to plan your wedding once so try and enjoy it as much as your can. She can only get to you if you let her!

deepcovejackie

Yeah, you get one day, not whole months, as PP have said.  Does all the focus really have to be on you?  It's ok to share, you know.

More to the point, and the first thing I thought, was how old is the guy your MOH is dating?  Like, 11th grade?

banana468

Don't ask her to be a part of the process if she's not interested in it.

And for now, don't even look at BM dresses.  Just go to the shop and get an idea.  If you're not getting married until June of next year, it's WAY too early to look.

So instead if she's not that into the BM dress thing just can the shopping trip and enjoy girl time.  Who knows what will happen with this relationship between now and November/December when you need to start looking?

heyimbren

Yeah, okay your friend sounds pretty crazy with this pre-planning and wedding dress shopping business.

But if she isn't interested in your wedding, she really doesn't have to be even if she's MOH. Especially when it is months away- it can be hard for friends to get really excited over a wedding that isn't for a few months.

Ultimately, her relationship and where it's headed is her business. But if you do go shopping for BM dresses and she's dancing around looking at wedding dresses, just keep her busy with BM dresses if you can. Or just let them pick their own dresses and avoid the trip.

I'd think that if she started wanting to try on dresses that any reasonable salesperson would be like "oh so when's the wedding?" and then she'd have to explain that... awkward for her.

MairePoppy

Ditto heyimbren
Most bridal salons around here require appointments to try on wedding dresses. I don't think the sales consultant is going to waste  much time on a 'maybe' wedding.

aerinpegadrak

You've already gotten the message loud and clear that she has absolutely no interest in your wedding for whatever reason.  She's your MOH because she's your closest friend, not because she's your wedding planner.  Talk to your FI, your mom, your club board, your random wedding-obsessed friends, whoever wants to hear about it.  But she clearly doesn't, and you're just going to create problems by continuing to try to pull her in.

And ditto Banana, you've got eons to worry about the dress.  Let her settle into her relationship and let the newness wear off, I bet she'll be much less of a pill.  Or just give her some basic guidelines and let her choose a dress on her own, and if she wants to try on wedding dresses while she's at it, more power to her.

Muffin'sMom

A mom here with a different concern.  If she is over 18 and he is younger....she needs to know that she could be involved in a legal issue.

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_moh-big-problem?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:e39766b4-9bde-4759-9314-c9cc1bf53529Post:5e28e877-5766-4826-b34b-c0a9172a948b">Re: MOH BIG PROBLEM!</a>:
[QUOTE]A mom here with a different concern.  If she is over 18 and he is younger....she needs to know that she could be involved in a legal issue.
Posted by Muffin'sMom[/QUOTE]

I think this depends on location, but it is a serious concern as well.... I don't know the law in SC, but here in Canada it varies from province to province.

mkrupar

Hate when OP deletes because they didn't get the responses they liked. :-(

brilibby4

Don't delete.  Other brides could have the same problems as you and your post/responses could have helped them.