Moms and Maids

Unreliable MOH sister

So when I was deciding who to ask to be bridesmaids I thought about it for a while without telling anyone- I didn't want there to be jealousy and confusion. My sister kept asking if she was going to be the MOH and I told her that I hadn't made any of my final decisions yet.
Yes, this is my only sister (five years older), but we never get along for any amount of time. We talk a lot, but if I won't cater to her wishes, she says the most awful things to me imaginable. I always planned on asking her to be a BM, but i had a good, responsible best friend that I wanted to ask to be MOH. My sister cannot drive (DUIs), has three kids to take care of (and for me to cart around whenever she asks me to drive them all around), and is kinda..self centered. So when I told her I was unsure, she started badmouthing me to the rest of the family saying that it would be a  slap in the face if I didn't ask her. I finally decided to ask BOTH of them to be MOHs.
My sister's boyfriend is going to be an usher, her daughter is a jr BM, and her youngest son is the ringbearer. The other day, I tell her i don't have time to drive her to an appointment, and she texts me right afterward calling me a b*tch, saying that she hates all of us, and she wishes we weren't related to her. She says "find another wedding party".
Okay....
So the next day she tells my mom that she realizes she's been grumpy lately and feel bad about it.
This happens aaalllll the time and she NEVER appologizes to me.
I just keep thinking "uhhgg this is why i didn't want to ask her to be the MOH  in the first place". WHy do I want to have someone in the wedding who tells me once a month that she hates me and wishes I'd dye?

There's nothing really I can do about the situation, but I thought some of you other brides might feel the frustration here. Luckily, I've got a great groom. and the other MOH is sweet and wonderful.

Re: Unreliable MOH sister

  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Well... 

    You don't have a MOH problem - you have a sister problem.  Her behavior has nothing to do with your wedding.  She was this way before and will be this way long after unless you say or do something to change it.  If my sister cussed me out, you better believe that my parents wouldn't be supporting it and I certainly wouldn't take it without telling her that this isn't how you treat people.  Who cares if she throws a royal fit over it?  She doesn't get to walk all over you.  I recommend standing up to her.

    Also - "Why do I want to have someone in the wedding who tells me once a month that she hates me and wishes I'd dye?"  Dye what?  A shirt?  Ooooh... die.  :-)


  • brimoreybrimorey member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Haha, I can't believe I said dye!! That's funny, I'm actually the stickler for grammar and spelling.
    You are completely right, it is a sister problem, I should have said that.
    And believe me, I have been no pushover. Everytime she says something like this, I tell her that what she's saying is her choice, it has nothing to do with me. Almost the "I'm rubber you're glue" approach, Ha!
    Our parents have their own issues, too (ironic laugh)
    However, I appriate YOUR support. It sure felt good to be able to tell other women about the feelings. It's hard to find women here that do not know her also.
    Thanks, again!
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Of course!! 

    Good luck with everything.  No matter what she says or does on your wedding day, you'll still be married at the end.  Very few things can ruin that day for you and a cranky MOH is definitely not one of them.


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