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Moms and stepmoms

jaciforsmanjaciforsman member
Third Anniversary 10 Comments
in Moms and Maids
So here's my dilemma... my parents are still together which will be no issue, but my fiance's parents are divorced and both remarried. His step mom i have a feeling is going to try to "take over" and his biological mom is going to get upset and just telll her to do everything. How do I include his stepmom without stepping on his biological's moms toes?
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Re: Moms and stepmoms

  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Yes, how do you think that she will take over? If she gets pushy, I would refrain from telling her specifics about your plans. Create a clear vision for your wedding and make sure that other people know it. There really shouldn't be a whole lot of reason that she'd have to be involved in your planning. 
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  • jaciforsmanjaciforsman member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Like how should i include her in everything from planning to the ceremony. I just dont want toes to get stepped on either way. I want to include her because she has been a mother to the groom.

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  • jaciforsmanjaciforsman member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    everyone is paying there share atm
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    This is for your FI to handle, not you.  He knows the family politics much better than you do.
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  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, when in doubt ask the FI to handle or ask for his advice. I think certain things, such as having them both in the processional, will be easy. Your FI can do a Mother/Son dance AND a Step-Mother/Son dance if he wants. Thank both of them at the reception. Make sure to take family pictures with both of them.

    One way to make it easier on the planning is to ask them to help with/finance specific things... of course if it's all one big shared bank account, then that becomes a little more complicated. If you think someone will be pushy, make sure you and your FI know exactly what the two of you want, and be willing to stand your ground, but also willing to compromise if it's something that's not a big deal (ie. the favors, etc.). Make sure to invite both of them to things, and to ask both of their opinions, but the only way the SM will be able to take over is if you and your FI allow her to.

    If you're really lucky, they won't mind you doing most of the planning and just coming along for the ride, or being kept informed.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Don't let the step-mom pull you into the middle of this. Let the two of them work out their own issues. If there are problems, let fi handle it.

    As far as your wedding day goes, both moms and stepmon can be honored with corsages. Let each set of parents have their own tables to host at the reception.
                       
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