Moms and Maids

New MOH

Orginally for my wedding I had chosen a close cousin of mine to be my MOH. Well that was approx 6 months ago.  After I asked her and she accepted, it was like she went M.I.A. I tried to get ahold of her over the last 6 months several times. But never heard a reply.  So because of this, I decided to choose a new MOH.  However, this past week she randomly popped up at my house, talking about the wedding, wanting to go help pick things out, and deciding on "her" MOH dress ...

How do I politely say ... "I replaced you" ?? Undecided

Re: New MOH

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_new-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:ea752e53-b544-4a36-908e-2c2f2de3fe9ePost:b2cecd41-9f48-45d7-b5e8-b3de158bd5e3">New MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]Orginally for my wedding I had chosen a close cousin of mine to be my MOH. Well that was approx 6 months ago.  After I asked her and she accepted, it was like she went M.I.A. I tried to get ahold of her over the last 6 months several times. But never heard a reply.  So because of this, I decided to choose a new MOH.  However, this past week she randomly popped up at my house, talking about the wedding, wanting to go help pick things out, and deciding on "her" MOH dress ... How do I politely say ... "I replaced you" ??
    Posted by Shealyn2010[/QUOTE]

    You don't.  What you're suggesting is terribly wrong.  If you've already asked the other person to be MOH, then you now have two Maids of Honor.

    This is your cousin you're talking about.  You CAN tell her you replaced her.  But do you want to guess which cousin the family will be talking about for the next 20 years?  Yep.  The one that booted her cousin from her wedding.  There's no way that you come out of this looking good.

    But gosh.....good luck to you.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • vwhitney2107vwhitney2107 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    There is no polite way. Period.

    My best advice, like PP, would be to have two MOH's. You can boot the old MOH and look like a fool, or boot the new MOH and look like a fool, or keep them both.
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Ditto the others.  The person that did something wrong here is you.  You need to move forward with 2 MOHs
  • edited December 2011
    Trix is wise.

    You've made a mess for yourself, and there is no polite way out of it.  Nor is there any way out that won't make you look bad.
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  • jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You are the grand prize winner of TWO MOHs!
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_new-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:ea752e53-b544-4a36-908e-2c2f2de3fe9ePost:cb89217e-23f3-48da-8d78-ce9d1e1701da">Re: New MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]You are the grand prize winner of TWO MOHs!
    Posted by jerseydevil[/QUOTE]


    Congratulations!
                       
  • KateG528KateG528 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_new-moh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:ea752e53-b544-4a36-908e-2c2f2de3fe9ePost:cb89217e-23f3-48da-8d78-ce9d1e1701da">Re: New MOH</a>:
    [QUOTE]You are the grand prize winner of TWO MOHs!
    Posted by jerseydevil[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>haha congrats. you never should have asked lucky lady #2</div>
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  • KnibletKniblet member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    [QUOTE]. How do I politely say ... "I replaced you" ??
    Posted by Shealyn2010[/QUOTE]
    There's no polite way to say that you replaced someone.

    There <em>is </em>a polite way to tell her she is one of TWO MOH's, though.  Have them both so that no one is whispering about you for years to come and no relationships are destroyed because of this.

    Good luck!
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  • edited December 2011

    I agree with others you should now have 2 MOHs.  Sometimes our bridesmaids and MOHs have lives and they just cann't ahold of you.  Or sometimes even when we don't think we do it we talk about the wedding WAY to much and it gets to people. 

    I'd suggest maybe making an effort to ensure that you are asking your cousin about her life and about things she wants to talk about.

    "Faith Hope and Love are some good things he gave us, and the greatest is Love"
  • edited December 2011
    If one of them is married you can call one a Matron of Honor, then they at least have a different title...
    Celebrate we will, cause life is short but sweet for certain....
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