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Running out of Mormon curse words... FMIL rant...

"Dang", "fetch", "heck" and "scrud" are not doing me justice here.  I am about to return to my Irish Catholic roots and let loose a string of profanity that would make my sailor father blush...then (try to) ground me for a year. 

Last night, FI came home, looking angry, followed by FMIL who gave me a stony glare.  She maintains that their drive home was the first she had heard about my shower this coming weekend in WV.  Not true, we have been talking about it for a month.  I can't help it if everything I say to that woman goes in one ear and out the other. 

Our plan was to leave on Thursday night, pick up my MOH and then crash at my mommy's and relax Friday before the shower.  FMIL wants us to leave Friday night because it "would be a real hardship" for FSIL not to have a car on Friday.   She doesn't have a job.  She's not looking for a job, because she's moving to the Mormon Corridor in a month.  She can deal without a car for a day. 

FMIL does crap like this EVERY TIME FI and I plan a trip home to see my family.  For once, I would like to spend more time with them than a millisecond.  I don't get what her deal is.  Can't she understand, from a mother's perspective, I miss my mom? 

~Kate
December 18, 2010!!! Never thought I would be a winter bride; just hoping we don't get snowed in until AFTER the wedding!

Re: Running out of Mormon curse words... FMIL rant...

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    AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, I think your in a pickle if you are using your FMIL's car. I think her excuse that your FSIL can't have the car for a whole day is pretty crappy, specially if the girl doesn't have a job or going to school. I'm sure she can browse the internet, watch TV, go for a walk, there's plenty to do without running around in a car for a day. If she wants to go out, I'm sure she could call a friend to pick her up. I don't know how level headed your FSIL is but maybe if you explain to your FSIL what you did here she would side with you and your FMIL won't have any other excuses to use for not going Thursday. 
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    edited December 2011
    We are using FI's car.
    December 18, 2010!!! Never thought I would be a winter bride; just hoping we don't get snowed in until AFTER the wedding!
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    mkruparmkrupar member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I'm a little confused. Are you, FMIL, FI, and MOH supposed to be driving up together? If you're using your Fi's car, why can't you three drive up on Thursday, and FMIL drive up using her car on Friday? What is it that your FSIL need a car for if she's not working or going to school?
    image
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    edited December 2011
    Just say "FMIL, if you would like to ride with us, we will be leaving Thursday at 6pm. Otherwise, we'll see you when you get there." I would not change my plans to accommodate FSIL.

    By the way, I hate to sound picky, but if your FMIL had received an invitation, she could not say she didn't know about it.



                       
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    AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    So if its your FI's car, why will your sister be out a car? Does your FMIL not have a car? 

    Well, if its your FI's car, HE gets the final say on who can use it. If he is letting you use it to drive on Thursday night, then FMIL either goes or she driver herself or stays home. I definitely wouldn't give in to her demands, FSIL doesn't have anywhere important to go to so she can deal for a day without driving around. I can see how it would be hard to bite your tongue, she sounds like a peach. I hope your FI is on the ball with setting boundaries for her because it sounds like she's going to need it. 
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_running-out-of-mormon-curse-words-fmil-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:ea8f2639-68e3-4eec-aaeb-3355e3e69bcePost:4ac2c401-c720-4a86-9144-3bbba467ec6f">Re: Running out of Mormon curse words... FMIL rant...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just say "FMIL, if you would like to ride with us, we will be leaving Thursday at 6pm. Otherwise, we'll see you when you get there." I would not change my plans to accommodate FSIL. [/QUOTE]

    This!
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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    melissamc2melissamc2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think WHY the FSIL wants/needs a car, or whether she works, really factors into this, myself.   For that matter, I don't know why the FSIL is factoring into this at ALL since it isn't her car OR her Mother's car.

    It's your fiance's car.  It's his fiancee's shower and family.  You two go when you want to go.  As pp stated - either the FMIL goes with you or shows up on her own. 

    I wouldn't even be giving this particular "issue" a second thought.
    10-10-10
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    edited December 2011
    If, from what you're saying, she does this every time, then you need to stand your ground and say that you can't pick up the FSIL.  Tell her you really need to enjoy some time with your family as the big day is approaching.  Whatever reasons and wording you come up with, if there is anything I've learned in life it's that people will continue to boss you around if they get away with it once.  If you don't put an end to it now, she will be doing this the rest of your life - and when will you take care of it then?
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    edited December 2011
    She's testing your boundaries to see what she can get away with later after you're married.  Stop her NOW or she'll feel entitled to change/ruin your plans all the time.  My FMIL and FSIL are exactly like this.  Unfortunately, they are also best friends with each other so pushing back against one means insulting both.  No future in-law deserves to act/be treated like a spoiled princess.
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    bfuller1085bfuller1085 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_running-out-of-mormon-curse-words-fmil-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:ea8f2639-68e3-4eec-aaeb-3355e3e69bcePost:b04047df-aded-47df-935b-b7060d19fd90">Re: Running out of Mormon curse words... FMIL rant...</a>:
    [QUOTE]She's testing your boundaries to see what she can get away with later after you're married.  Stop her NOW or she'll feel entitled to change/ruin your plans all the time.  No future in-law deserves to act/be treated like a spoiled princess.
    Posted by bdriley[/QUOTE]

    I agree 1 MILLION percent! My FMIL is exactly the same way. I asked her if she wanted to come to the bridal store to see my dress...same day that my BMs would be giving me their input on their dresses. She did not say 1 single word about my dress but had a lot to say about the BM dresses. She insisted the only way to go was short (wedding is in May and might be hot) and that it was about their comfort not about what I liked. This is very typical and that was the moment I put my foot down with her and since she has backed off. She needs to know that this is your wedding and your family. There is no way in hell I would allow my FMIL to get in the way of me and my family. No chance!
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