Overweight Bridesmaid

angel1027

I have three bridesmaids in my bridal party, one of which is quite overweight.  The girls can pick out any dress that they would like from the Jim Hjelm collection in chiffon fabric. 

Does anyone have any ideas to how they are handlight overweight BP members.
Thanks.

lizstill13

"Does anyone have any ideas to how they are handlight overweight BP members."

Wha? Is that english?

llcooldre

My bridesmaid and MOH are all around my size, so I don't know what you are going through, but my friend had a plus-sized bridesmaid and they did the same thing where she got to pick any style dress in the color/fabric my friend wanted. The bridesmaid looked gorgeous and was very comfortable not being squeezed into a teeny, short, strapless dress.

It sounds like you are doing the right thing. Make sure your BMs are comfy because they will be in photos, too!

Have fun, good luck!

veebroth

Ya, you are doing the right thing. If everyone is comfortable things tend to go a lot more smoothly

xoxob

is handlight? I don't know if I would want any of my BMs to be handlighted?

J. Ambre

As a plus-sized BP member (several times over) I'm here to tell you that you're on the right track. I'm quite sure your more voluptuous BM knows her body type and can dress appropriately within your guidelines.

[Deleted User]

Just make sure they look good in the style they choose and feel comfortable. I have one in my BP. She ended up picking a dress with more coverage in the bust and straps instead of the strapless and halter styles the others went with.

katieanne85

Im sure she appreciates choosing her own dress, but I doubt her waight is such a big deal as to need any more special handling. if she was so skinny as to have no body to put a dress on at all, that would call for aditional concern. but youve giver her the freedom to find a dress she likes, so unless the issue is more about having the aesthetic you want and not about her feelings, I wouldnt worry, if it is about aesthetics, I wouldnt worry.

rebeccalynn410

Wow...I didn't know you had to "handle" overweight bridesmaids!!  I was one (several times) and none of my friends did anything different.  I know they all chose dresses (we had input too) that looked flattering on all of us, and so you're on the right track, but....I don't know, how would you feel if your BM read that post about handling her weight?  I'm sure she's already self-conscious enough about it.

rebeccalynn410

Oh, and PS....chiffon does not flatter any overweight person. I've been there, tried the dresses on.  I know.

irishxmyst

I'm glad someone else mentioned the thing about the chiffon fabric.  It really does not flatter overweight people.  Even my bms (most of whom are average to thin) were not comfortable with chiffon because it shows everything.  Even on average girls, every little love handle or tummy pudge shows.  Sure it looks nice on the model who is a size 2 with a flat tummy, but that's not most women.  Also keep in mind Jim Hjelm dresses are made small and formfitting, so your maids often will find themselves having to get a few sizes larger than their normal clothes.

If you're looking for that "flowy" look of chiffon, try looking for dresses that have a more structured fabric underneath (satin, taffeta, etc) and then a chiffon (or point d'esprit) overlay.  (see jim hjlem styles jh5832 and  jh5817).

mromag1

I also have an over weight bridesmaid and I am using Jim Hjelm bridesmaid dresses.   I found the the tissue taffeta the most forgiven and flattering on every body type.  I suggest  looking into bm dresses that hit the natural part if the waist (smallest part), are empire, or do not have dart seems in the front.   

http://www.jlmcouture.com/Jim-Hjelm-Occasions/Bridesmaid/Additional/Style-5930

http://www.jlmcouture.com/Jim-Hjelm-Occasions/Bridesmaid/Additional/Style-5935

http://www.jlmcouture.com/Jim-Hjelm-Occasions/Bridesmaid/Additional/Style-5919

http://www.jlmcouture.com/Jim-Hjelm-Occasions/Bridesmaid/Additional/Style-5915

jeanna85

you really dont have to do anything to "handle" the situation. jim hjelm comes in a huge range of sizes. I know my friend had a plus-sized bridesmaid and found out she couldnt use J.Crew (only goes up to size 16). But it seems like with Hjelm you're set. What's the problem exactly?

ivelissed

I'm sure she's probably looking for dress ideas to suggest to her.  I know my bridesmaids have very different body types.  One of them is so thin that usually they have to take in dresses sized X-Small and the other has a very nice hourglass shape but she's overweight, so I know that I'll probably suggest them to pick their own style.  Still I would like to have a clearer idea of the dress concept I would like them to have, because at this point I have no idea what would look good on both of them.

chosen175

If you are TRULY this girl's friend and TRULY cared about her, her weight wouldn't be an issue and you wouldn't have posted this.  You knew she was overweight when you asked her to be your BM.  If aesthetics was an issue, you shouldn't have asked her.  There is nothing for you to "handle" at this point, or any point in the future.

angel1027

I am amazed by how rude the "Knot" brides really are.  This person happens to be my sister and I wanted to try and get other opinions as to their experiences.  Excuse me for asking for advice on handling a delicate situation. 

Thank you to those who answered the questions without any snide remarks.

mao923

First off and a full figured bride i know how difficult it is to find dresses that fit.  I think you are doing the right thing by letting her pick what she is comfortable in.  Just one thing that I would like to add, we are full figured, not all of us like being none as the overweight or plus size girl in the wedding party. 

I defenitly don't want to be known as the over weight or plus size bride, I am full figured.

llcooldre

I know - aren't they rude? They like to pick posts apart and rip you to shreds. Tthat's why I avoided this whole site up until about a month before the wedding. So much for a sisterhood. No thanks! Good luck - you are a good friend and are obviously concerned about your bridesmaid's comfort and that is the best thing. Don't let these beasts make you feel bad about your post. Nothing wrong with it.

CToward03

I am in a similar dilemma, however all of my bridesmaids are overweight, but range from slightly to extrememly. I think they are all beautiful in their own way, but I wanted a very similar if not exact same dress on my girls. My oldest sister ( the MOH) has been helpful in pointing out things that make her feel comfortable and beautiful, but with my bridesmaids in 3 different cities, it is becoming harder and harder to get them together.
The tips on the empire dresses are helpful!!! and the fabrics!!! thank you so much!!!

Any tips on how to approach the subject so I dont feel like I am picking their dresses and forcing them to wear them? but I can still get some formality?

GoBucksOH

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_overweight-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:ec48bd7d-4810-4c27-adb1-9a7d1f468ea9Post:284db4d2-05c4-46dd-b216-78f808e1eba3">Re: Overweight Bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]I know - <strong>aren't they rude</strong>? They like to pick posts apart and rip you to shreds. Tthat's why I avoided this whole site up until about a month before the wedding. So much for a sisterhood. No thanks! Good luck - you are a good friend and are obviously concerned about your bridesmaid's comfort and that is the best thing. Don't let <strong>these beasts</strong> make you feel bad about your post. Nothing wrong with it.
Posted by llcooldre[/QUOTE]

Wow, you are the only person here being rude. The other posters all gave good advice. You might want to go back and re-read the posts. Then again, what on earth are you doing on these boards if you cant handle sound advice that is given to you?

mymissmochakitty

I know that with my sister, who is an very overweight teenager and my maid of honor, it ended up being such an issue what just general teenage angst and insecurities over her weight that I did, in the end, simply handle it myself. 

I don't know  how many bridesmaids you have or where she'll be standing or anything, but I do know that for me the easiest solution was to simply pick what I knew would look good on her and tell her she was wearing it. Granted, I'm ten years older but it helped to simply say look, I know what you look good in and so this is what you're wearing. If your sister is older... that might not work, but the same principle applies. If you have a particular style you're wanting them all to gravitate towards try to find three or four dresses that she'll look good in to give to her to try on. Or, if you're worried that with wedding emotions running high, and her being overweight which makes people even more exciteable, then just choose for her. 

And don't mind the snarkies. We all understand how you feel, some people just get up in arms and white-knightish when they think someone else is being slighted. She's your sister, it's obviously very important to you that she look her best and feel her best for your wedding. Chin up! You'll find something!