HELP! My mom wants to wear black to my beach wedding!--what do i do?

heath41400

When I originally made plans for my destination wedding in Florida, I asked my mom to not wear navy blue.  As time went by and now the wedding is 6 weeks away, my mom took a friend shopping and landed on a long black dress with shiny silver flowers on it.  All my groomsmen are wearing khaki pants and my bridesmaids are wearing coral.  I can tell you I have not a speck of black any where in my wedding....so what do I do?  I asked her if we can keep looking for a different dress, but I just dont want her to look like a black blob in all the pictures if no one else is wearing a dark color.  And most of the pictures are being taken at sunset, so I dont want her to be washed out....any advise

Thanks!!

H

Kniblet

If she wants to wear a black dress with shiny silver flowers, she should.  She's your mom, why not let her wear what makes her happy?  And if she feels great in it, that's awesome.

Are you just against black as a whole?  I don't see why it matters that her dress would be the only black thing around the wedding.

deepcovejackie

What do you do?  You tell her she looks nice in her new dress!  She's not a prop, she doesn't need to match the decor or the sunset.  I'm sure her feeling were hurt when you asked her to look for something else.

Good luck with planning!

AutumnFair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mom-wants-wear-black-beach-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:f1d9ffaa-4627-4e9e-973a-97f8182d537bPost:f0e08790-568d-4e37-9abb-2ee68f1c5503">HELP! My mom wants to wear black to my beach wedding!--what do i do?</a>:
[QUOTE]When I originally made plans for my destination wedding in Florida, I asked my mom to not wear navy blue.  As time went by and now the wedding is 6 weeks away, my mom took a friend shopping and landed on a long black dress with shiny silver flowers on it.  All my groomsmen are wearing khaki pants and my bridesmaids are wearing coral.  I can tell you I have not a speck of black any where in my wedding....so what do I do?  I asked her if we can keep looking for a different dress, but I just dont want her to look like a black blob in all the pictures if no one else is wearing a dark color.  And most of the pictures are being taken at sunset, so I dont want her to be washed out....any advise Thanks!! H
Posted by heath41400[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>You should not dictate what your mom wears, she is a grown woman and can choose for herself what to wear. Black is a neutral color so it can match to basically anything so I'm not sure why you are worried. The pictures are at sunset, so there is still light and color, plus I'm sure your photographer will have a flash so I don't see her being washed out. If you want ask her to do some mother daughter dress shopping time if she hasn't bought the dress yet, but if she wants to keep with the original dress you need to respect her decision. 

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vicki0508

My mom is wearing black, and my colors are blue and yellow.  It's really not a big deal.  Your mom is an adult and you can't dictate what she wears.  This is something you need to let go.

McKenna2012

My mother is deceased, so I'd give anything to have her there in a black dress.  Or a neon green and purple striped dress.  Please let your mom wear what she wants.  Her being there is the important thing.

mejane123

If your ceremony is out in the sun, she may be uncomfortable because of the heat, but yeah, just let her make her own decisions about what to wear.  It's not worth an argument and she doesn't need to coordinate with the WP.  Honestly, how many pictures is she going to be in with the WP? 

MairePoppy

You shouldn't have told her not to wear navy blue and you should not criticize the black dress, either. She's your mom, not a part of your wedding decor.

HandBanana

I really don't think it is a big deal.

That being said I can understand having a problem with black being worn to a wedding.  In my family it is still a major no no to wear black (even as a guest) to a wedding.  Black is seen as a sign of mourning and not appropriate for a wedding which is a celebration.  Not sure if there is any actual etiquette basis for this but in my mother's family, if you wear black to a wedding you are making a statement about the marriage/couple. (crazy but whatever.)

That added, unless she has openly objected to your wedding and is doing this as some sort of open defiance of mourning of your wedding, I do not see a problem.

SSaltzman87

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mom-wants-wear-black-beach-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:f1d9ffaa-4627-4e9e-973a-97f8182d537bPost:b7928e5c-078b-415b-b0ca-b3c37e5613cf">Re: HELP! My mom wants to wear black to my beach wedding!--what do i do?</a>:
[QUOTE]My mother is deceased, so I'd give anything to have her there in a black dress.  Or a neon green and purple striped dress.  Please let your mom wear what she wants.  Her being there is the important thing.
Posted by McKenna2012[/QUOTE]

Exactly. My own mom's wearing black to my wedding. It doesn't matter what color she wears-she's not your inspiration board. Black is a color most middle-aged women feel comfortable in, don't forsake her comfort for your 'vision'.

graffeo

I am with McKenna my mom was not there for my wedding and i would have given anything to have her with me so if she wants to have a black dress on then let her. Second i have lived in FL my whole life so you are having your wedding in june your mom might be very hot in black if your wedding is out doors. That might be one thing you tell her. Tho in FL sometimes it does not matter the color if it is llong, I got married last weekend in fl and it was 90 degrees. I would let guests know that it gets VERY hot here in the summer.

trix1223

HELP! My mom wants to wear black to my beach wedding!--what do i do?

Smile and tell her she looks beautiful, and that you're happy she found her dress.

And a big old good luck to you!

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mom-wants-wear-black-beach-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:f1d9ffaa-4627-4e9e-973a-97f8182d537bPost:2ba034aa-2957-4696-9c0c-2e9fee05e003">Re: HELP! My mom wants to wear black to my beach wedding!--what do i do?</a>:
[QUOTE]I really don't think it is a big deal. That being said I can understand having a problem with black being worn to a wedding.  In my family it is still a major no no to wear black (even as a guest) to a wedding.  <strong>Black is seen as a sign of mourning and not appropriate for a wedding which is a celebration.  </strong>Not sure if there is any actual etiquette basis for this but in my mother's family, if you wear black to a wedding you are making a statement about the marriage/couple. (crazy but whatever.) That added, unless she has openly objected to your wedding and is doing this as some sort of open defiance of mourning of your wedding, I do not see a problem.
Posted by HandBanana[/QUOTE]


I guess my wedding will be a mournful occasion then because all my BM's are wearing black.

Muffin'sMom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mom-wants-wear-black-beach-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:f1d9ffaa-4627-4e9e-973a-97f8182d537bPost:58e86308-3746-4121-9f9c-7f17d4f1368c">Re: HELP! My mom wants to wear black to my beach wedding!--what do i do?</a>:
[QUOTE]HELP! My mom wants to wear black to my beach wedding!--what do i do? Smile and tell her she looks beautiful, and that you're happy she found her dress. And a big old good luck to you!
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

Trix...you are cracking me up  :)

Tell your mom that if she will be comfortable in black...she should wear it!

indiana108

Talk to her about it!  My daughter is having a beach wedding too.  She lives in Florida...so when I went dress shopping I just took pictures and texted them to her.   She preferred a lighter color (than i did)...But it is  her wedding day..I think if you ask your mom to go dress shopping, just to see if there is a dress you both like. ( and remind her how hot a black dress would be!)

katieisawesome

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mom-wants-wear-black-beach-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:f1d9ffaa-4627-4e9e-973a-97f8182d537bPost:f0e08790-568d-4e37-9abb-2ee68f1c5503">HELP! My mom wants to wear black to my beach wedding!--what do i do?</a>:
[QUOTE]When I originally made plans for my destination wedding in Florida, I asked my mom to not wear navy blue.  As time went by and now the wedding is 6 weeks away, my mom took a friend shopping and landed on a long black dress with shiny silver flowers on it.  All my groomsmen are wearing khaki pants and my bridesmaids are wearing coral.  I can tell you I have not a speck of black any where in my wedding....so what do I do?  I asked her if we can keep looking for a different dress, but I just dont want her to look like a black blob in all the pictures if no one else is wearing a dark color.  And most of the pictures are being taken at sunset, so I dont want her to be washed out....any advise Thanks!! H
Posted by heath41400[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>She can wear what she wants and there is nothing wrong with wearing a black dress to a wedding.  My advice is to grow up and worry about more important things.

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leahskinner1

You could buy her a nice, bright corsage or wrist corsage that ties her black dress into your wedding colours

jerseydevil

Did you really say that your mom will look like a "black blob" in pictures?