BM Dresses....

jkemacc

first, we moved my wedding up to june so that family could be there.  I also want to make it clear that i have no problem with BMs being pregnant.  My MOH will be having her baby a month prior to the wedding, and two of the BMs will be pregnant for the wedding.  Like I said not a problem.  My problem is that the one pregnant BM didnt make it to go pick out dresses with everyone. (we tried to wait to last minute to begin with because of all the babies!)  Everyone agreed on one dress.  The BMs that were pregnant looked amazing as well as the one BM who was not.  I sent the pic to the BM who did not make it and was immediatly bombarded with how she wouldnt fit. MOH was 7months and looked great, she will only be 5 (the other 6).  (they are both normally about the same size).  We picked out the dresses with pregnancy in mind since 2 of the 4 would be pregnant and 1 would have just had a baby.  She just went to go get fitted today (the store had the specific dress marked), and she decided to purchase a different dress and told me after making the decision.  she concluded with "I already paid for it, there is no going back now." and "everyone is probably mad at me, so I just wont be in the wedding"....  I am at a loss for words.  Did she do this to try to get out of the wedding?  Is she trying to "drop out"?  after all this, she will not answer any messages or calls...

lisarose7

Have you considered hormones?  All of my friends who've been pregnant got upset about all sorts of things because of their hormones (according to them).  Plus, she's at that point in her pregnancy where she may feel like she looks "fat" rather than pregnant and was just unhappy with the way she looked in the dress the other BMs picked out.  Give it some time and then try to talk to her about how she's feeling.

AutumnFair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bm-dresses-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:f21faada-ff44-4af8-8725-fd0e62a58c15Post:82b5bd5a-7921-4d72-8cea-10d1665077f5">BM Dresses....</a>:
[QUOTE]first, we moved my wedding up to june so that family could be there.  I also want to make it clear that i have no problem with BMs being pregnant.  My MOH will be having her baby a month prior to the wedding, and two of the BMs will be pregnant for the wedding.  Like I said not a problem.  My problem is that the one pregnant BM didnt make it to go pick out dresses with everyone. (we tried to wait to last minute to begin with because of all the babies!)  Everyone agreed on one dress.  The BMs that were pregnant looked amazing as well as the one BM who was not.  I sent the pic to the BM who did not make it and was immediatly bombarded with how she wouldnt fit. MOH was 7months and looked great, she will only be 5 (the other 6).  (they are both normally about the same size).  We picked out the dresses with pregnancy in mind since 2 of the 4 would be pregnant and 1 would have just had a baby.  She just went to go get fitted today (the store had the specific dress marked), and she decided to purchase a different dress and told me after making the decision.  she concluded with "I already paid for it, there is no going back now." and "everyone is probably mad at me, so I just wont be in the wedding"....  I am at a loss for words.  Did she do this to try to get out of the wedding?  Is she trying to "drop out"?  after all this, she will not answer any messages or calls...
Posted by jkemacc[/QUOTE]

<div>Either she had a raging case of some pregnancy hormones or she is just plain crazy.</div><div>
</div><div>First, I'm not sure when this all went down but I would let everyone cool off for a week or two. After things seem to cool down, you need to decide if your alright with her choosing a different dress and letting her wear it instead of the original dress choice. If you are cool with that, call her up and tell her you thought about it and that you really care about her to be in the wedding and don't mind that the dresses are different. </div><div>
</div><div>If you do want them all in the same dress, call her up and just have an open conversation on why she decided to go with a different dress and just let her know that she is more then welcome to be in the WP if she gets the correct dress. She might tell you then and there if she will buy the dress or not, but if she doesn't say anything just let her know the last date to order the dress and the rest is in her hands. If she doesn't get the dress, she took herself out if she does, then problem solved.</div>

mandi921vh

She did buy a dress so it seems like she wouldn't have bought a dress if she was planning on still being a BM. Your wedding isn't for a while, you don't need to do anything about this now, give her some time. 

sklink0486

Only thing I can say is hormones?? Why would she buy a dress that wasn't the one you picked and then say, well I just won't be in the wedding? Normal person + pregnant= doesn't make sense? That's my only conclusion here. Give her some time to cool down and just let her know you would still like for her to be in the wedding, but if she would be more comfortable just being a guest, then that's ok too.