Is she wrong or am I taking it too personally?

mandalove7

I met with one of my bridesmaids for lunch to catch up and talk wedding details. (she is the only one that lives close to me) She is also my FI's sister, they have a strange relationship, they don't talk much and she is rude to him a lot...but he was okay with me having her in my bridal party. (He is always nice to her, so he doesn't really have hard feelings..he just accepts how mean she can be). While we were having lunch, she said "by the way, I am not walking down the aisle with Mark(my FI best friend). "I will walk by myself, he will not touch me, nor will he come near me" I was totally taken back..she has never met Mark, and the only reason she dislikes him is because of rumors she hears. I don't know what to do..I'm not a confrontational person, but I really don't want her to cause a scene. I couldn't think of anything to say other than "the way my church(and I'm guessing other people) have bridesmaids and groomsmen stand is by height...shortest on the end tallest closest to the MOH". All she did was repeat what she previously said. I personally think Mark is a good friend to my FI..no reason for her to be mean about him. 

I'm not going to give her the boot or anything, I just really want to avoid any confrontation. I want everything to be laid back and enjoyable on the day of the wedding. Thanks for any input

LoveMuffins

I mean, as long as there's plenty of other people, just pair her with someone else. Or you could have everyone walk down singly, but then people do the recessional together even if the processional is done one at a time. Personally I think it sounds like she's being really immature, but it also sounds like she's willing to make a stink about it, so it might just be easier to let her have her way on this one.

I think you handled her ridiculousness well, I'd just leave it alone until the rehearsal and see if you can find a way to pair her with someone else.

aerinpegadrak

Walking order is a very, very minor thing.  Swap her with another bridesmaid and call it a day.  Putting them in height order is utterly arbitrary, and there's no reason to stick to it if it's going to cause drama.

GoodLuckBear14

Heights don't matter and certainly are not worth the blow up that's bound to come if you insist on it.  Just put her with somebody else.

mandalove7

I'm new at this, I've never been to a wedding in my life..I'm just going by what the forms I filled out for the church, it specifically asks bridesmaids and groomsmen to be listed in order from shortest to tallest. I don't know if that is how they want it to be done or if I could change it. I want the bridesmaids escorted by the groomsmen, I like the way it looks and its something I really want. I get what you're saying though  

Also, it is not so much that she is refusing to walk with someone as much as it was her attitude and how she presented it to me. I just felt like she was being very rude and could have said it better. I just fear this may just be the beginning with her. *sigh* I hope not.

MairePoppy

Okay, I think your fsil is a little bit strange, but the problem is easy enough to solve. Pair her with someone else. Make a list of how you want your bms and gms paired and give it to whoever is in charge of the rehearsal.

GoodLuckBear14

...and if someone at the church tells you pictures look better with people paired up by height, ignore them.  Pictures look better when everyone in them is happy.

vicki0508

Even if the church insists on the WP walking in order of height - you still don't have to pair them up.  The GMs can already be at the front of the church, the BMs walk in, and then everyone walks by themselves for the recessional.  Problem solved.

skippylouwho

She doesn't get along with her brother, she doesn't like this guy she hasn't met - does she have mental or emotional problems?  I'm not being mean, I'm serious.

mandalove7

No offense taken. She is odd, she is just one of those types that think very highly of themselves..which is why I was concerned about this. I assumed(there is my problem, assuming things!) that she would let this be our day and just let the wedding go as planned. I can only hope she calms down and does not cause a scene.. thanks for all the advice though, I'm really going to consider the options.

mandi921vh

Heights really don't matter, if there is someone else for her to walk with then switch it up.

pretzelgrrl

She is wrong but humor her

Muffin'sMom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_she-wrong-am-taking-personally?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:f4defb96-6240-45a8-920b-df693ab6f802Post:d7ab5ab1-085b-405b-af04-a0797c75cfdd">Re: Is she wrong or am I taking it too personally?</a>:
[QUOTE]...and if someone at the church tells you pictures look better with people paired up by height, ignore them.  Pictures look better when everyone in them is happy.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

This...exactly!

jcamm11

tell her all the other GM refuse to walk with her, have her near them, or touch her

phunluvin82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_she-wrong-am-taking-personally?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:f4defb96-6240-45a8-920b-df693ab6f802Post:77f3faf3-fb0f-4f35-b25b-cbb44f59ecac">Re: Is she wrong or am I taking it too personally?</a>:
[QUOTE]tell her all the other GM refuse to walk with her, have her near them, or touch her
Posted by jcamm11[/QUOTE]

LOL!!! 

lsk40

You didn't ask her who she wanted to walk with if she was a real friend she would just walk with him its not like you are asking her to marry him she should just suck it up I mean its not her wedding