First time posting

D&D2012

Hey everyone! 

I am getting married on June 2, 2012... (a while away, I know!) But am already having some issues with my fiance's aunt (his mother and father passed away, so his aunt is like his mom.) She is planning TOO much! We want to have a fun picnic wedding, and are just starting all the fun planning things... But she has already decided that we were going to do bookmarks with the poem that his parents has in their wedding... I would love to use the poem somehow, but bookmarks just don't go with what I want at my wedding... I guess my main reason for this, is how do I nicely tell her thanks, but no thanks!! 

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_first-time-posting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:f643597c-1d72-440b-8fac-07390740b34bPost:14caf9c3-eedd-4da5-a50b-3bc5ee16f0d5">First time posting</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey everyone!  I am getting married on June 2, 2012... (a while away, I know!) But am already having some issues with my fiance's aunt (his mother and father passed away, so his aunt is like his mom.) She is planning TOO much! We want to have a fun picnic wedding, and are just starting all the fun planning things... But she has already decided that we were going to do bookmarks with the poem that his parents has in their wedding... I would love to use the poem somehow, but bookmarks just don't go with what I want at my wedding... I guess my main reason for this, is how do I nicely tell her thanks, but no thanks!! 
Posted by D&D2012[/QUOTE]

Who's paying for the wedding?

McKenna2012

Yeah, who is paying? If she is paying, she gets a say, but I agree with you about the bookmarks. My cousin had those with a poem and a picture of the couple as favors, and I threw it away as soon as I was out of there.

graysquirrel

This sounds like a recent engagement-- is that true? When I first got engaged, my mom tried to plan a lot, too. She'd spend hours scouring pictures of BM dresses every day (not kidding). It got really annoying and I got frustrated a lot, but a few months in she stopped. My guess is that your aunt is really excited right now but will cool down in a bit. If you have over a year to go, she will most likely calm down. 

If she is trying to force you into things, I would get together a vision/plan for your wedding and go over it with her. Be positive about your plans vs. negative about hers and see if you can get her on board. Perhaps you could suggest that the poem go on the programs instead of a bookmark and then explain what kind of favors you think the guests would like best. 

Muffin'sMom

Tell her you want to enjoy your engagement for a while and will get with the smaller details as it gets closer.

mandi921vh

If she is paying she holds all of the decisions. 

Cynthia1207

You have a long time to go before you look into details.  First and foremost get your major stuff done and then you can start thinking about smaller things.  Let her know gently that you would love to use the poem and ask her if maybe she has other ideas besides the bookmark when the time comes for you to think about it.  For now, I would just let it go.

D&D2012

Thanks... Yes, we just recently got engaged. My fiance and parents are paying for the wedding... I guess I just need to do what you guys said, and not worry about it now. I guess I am just scared if she is already trying to play into it so much, how will it be later. I don't want to be a "bridezilla" but I want it to be my wedding, the way that my fiance and I want.