Moms and Maids

What the hell was she thinking?

So my lovely sister(whom has been the cause of almost all wedding related drama) pulled the dumbest move EVER at my shower on Saturday. 

As my FI was finishing putting our gifts in the car, and the BM's were cleaning up the hall (I tried to help but got yelled at for cleaning up after my own shower).  My sister goes to her car to get my niece's flower girl dress so that I can take it home with me and put it with the BM's dresses. 

She asks if I want to see it(she bought it without me--though I knew which one she was getting) I say no, because I already know what it looks like and I didn't want it to get dirty.  I turn  away from her and all of a sudden I hear FI's aunt gasp, I turn and look and she has pulled the dress out anyway.  Then says, see I told you it was the mini version of your dress and my FI is standing no 3 feet from her!!! 

I freaked out--I asked her what the f*ckshe was thinking and , I told her that was the dumbest f*cking thing she could have possible done. She said, well it's not exactly the same, and got an attitude with me for being upset. 

Three days later and I still can't believe she did it!
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Re: What the hell was she thinking?

  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_hell-she-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:fb18e588-4eb3-40eb-b587-0d45ded8359aPost:413177f3-a151-4e22-b14b-53cf60af849b">What the hell was she thinking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]So my lovely sister(whom has been the cause of almost all wedding related drama) pulled the dumbest move EVER at my shower on Saturday.  As my FI was finishing putting our gifts in the car, and the BM's were cleaning up the hall (I tried to help but got yelled at for cleaning up after my own shower).  My sister goes to her car to get my niece's flower girl dress so that I can take it home with me and put it with the BM's dresses.  She asks if I want to see it(she bought it without me--though I knew which one she was getting) I say no, because I already know what it looks like and I didn't want it to get dirty.  I turn  away from her and all of a sudden I hear FI's aunt gasp, I turn and look and she has pulled the dress out anyway.  Then says, see I told you it was the mini version of your dress and my FI is standing no 3 feet from her!!!  I freaked out--I asked her what the f*ckshe was thinking and , I told her that was the dumbest f*cking thing she could have possible done. She said, well it's not exactly the same, and got an attitude with me for being upset.  Three days later and I still can't believe she did it!
    Posted by vinnyv11[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I myself wouldn't probably care because a child's dress that is white is totally different from an adult's dress. Unless your FI has a very photo type of memory most guys don't remember women's clothing (well unless it's Victoria Secret). You can be annoyed but chalk it up as your sister being overly excited, I'm sure she probably forgot that your FI was standing right there in the moment she was having. I'm would hope she would have contained herself if you would have said, "please don't get it out, FI is right there". 

    </div>
  • vicki0508vicki0508 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think you completely overreacted.  Odds are, to your FI it was just a little white poofy dress, he won't remember any particular detail.  Besides, seeing a mini dress on a hanger is WAY different than seeing you, in your dress, walking down the aisle.

    Why are you storing all of the BM and FG dresses?
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You certainly said f*ck a lot over this.  Guys don't remember a dress.  Guys only remember the girl in the dress.
  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Your marriage is doomed.
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Wow are you overthinking this.  I don't care how detailed the tiny little dress is.  If you asked your FI today to tell you about it, my guess is he'll say "uhhhh, it was white."  And I'm not being snarky about men, because that's probably what I would say.

    You're getting a little case of the wedding sillies, and I think you need to step back and relax.  Relax a lot.  In the big scheme of things, this is so not the big freakin' deal you're making it out to be.  It certainly isn't worth the amount of cursing that you did.


    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • vinnyv11vinnyv11 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am storing the dresses because the wedding is near my house, which is about 2 hours away from where most of the bridal party lives, and all the  girls are getting ready at my house, so it's just easier for them to already have all of their stuff at my house. 

    I guess I may have overracted a little, and FI said he didn't really see anything, and if it had been anyone else I probably wouldn't have cared as much.  But I feel like she did it on purpose because he was there.  She has started alot of drama between the bridesmaids, as well as between her and I over wedding details(like me choosing my BF to be my MOH instead of her--that lead to a threat of not coming to the wedding at all), so I guess I am a little sensitive to the little things she does.  It's terrible when you feel like your little sister would sabatage you...
  • edited December 2011
    Sorry....you think your sister sabotaged you because of the FG dress she picked?  Then you asked her whatt the f*ck she was thinking and that it was the dumbest f*cking thing she could have done?

    You owe your sister an apology.
  • vinnyv11vinnyv11 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_hell-she-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:fb18e588-4eb3-40eb-b587-0d45ded8359aPost:eb844548-dfb6-4ccf-9b07-673755be375f">Re: What the hell was she thinking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sorry....you think your sister sabotaged you because of the FG dress she picked?  Then you asked her whatt the f*ck she was thinking and that it was the dumbest f*cking thing she could have done? You owe your sister an apology.
    Posted by deepcovejackie[/QUOTE]

    I don't think she sabataged me because of the dress she picked ( I love the dress), I am upset because of her pulling it out in front of FI and saying that it's a mini version of my dress after I told her that I already knew what it looked like and she didn't need to pull it out.  I think she did that on purpose--maybe sabatoage isn't the right word, but I feel like she did that on purpose.
  • edited December 2011
    Again, I really think you're over-reacting.  It's just a white dress.  She's a little girl, not a fully grown adult.  You'll look way different in her dress than she will.

    Sounds to me like your sister was excited and couldn't wait to show you.  And you shot her down.

    You still owe her an apology.
  • edited December 2011
    Yeah, I think you overreacted and owe her an apology.
  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_hell-she-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:fb18e588-4eb3-40eb-b587-0d45ded8359aPost:b54a7e6a-66e6-49e0-b228-9be8d16e9802">Re: What the hell was she thinking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am storing the dresses because the wedding is near my house, which is about 2 hours away from where most of the bridal party lives, and all the  girls are getting ready at my house, so it's just easier for them to already have all of their stuff at my house.  I guess I may have overracted a little, and FI said he didn't really see anything, and if it had been anyone else I probably wouldn't have cared as much.  But I feel like she did it on purpose because he was there.  She has started alot of drama between the bridesmaids, as well as between her and I over wedding details(like me choosing my BF to be my MOH instead of her--that lead to a threat of not coming to the wedding at all), so I guess I am a little sensitive to the little things she does.  It's terrible when you feel like your little sister would sabotage you...
    Posted by vinnyv11[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Granted I don't know your sister but sometimes people like to "show off" to others and I'm betting since this was your shower and it's mostly made up of female relatives and friends that your sister decided to "show off" her daughter's dress to the other female members, your FI just happened to be there at the end putting the gifts away. This isn't something new, I have had family members that can't keep secrets or say thoughtless things because they get all excited about it. </div><div>
    </div><div>You really just have to let this go now, it is done, over with. Your FI already said he doesn't remember and this shouldn't be something to drive yourself mad over even is she did do it on purpose. You vented, released the frustration, now move onto something positive.</div><div>
    </div><div> I don't know how she could really "sabotage" your wedding unless she tries to sleep with your FI, so if she is doing something annoying just ignore her or tell her that he not listening to your request is not appreciated. 

    </div>
  • KnibletKniblet member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Two different brides that were on my month board each freaked when their FI saw a pic of their dress.  It was for a second, both times... a simple mistake due to scrolling through pics on a camera.

    Neither groom remembered squat about those dresses.

    You'll be fine.
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  • vicki0508vicki0508 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_hell-she-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:fb18e588-4eb3-40eb-b587-0d45ded8359aPost:52fb9122-86c4-4986-827d-a0b9eeb7760b">Re: What the hell was she thinking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Two different brides that were on my month board each freaked when their FI saw a pic of their dress.  It was for a second, both times... a simple mistake due to scrolling through pics on a camera. Neither groom remembered squat about those dresses. You'll be fine.
    Posted by Kniblet[/QUOTE]
    A girl in my club board got a new dress because her dress was shown on another girl on SYTTD when she was watching it with FI.  Sometimes I think girls give guys way too much credit.
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_hell-she-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:fb18e588-4eb3-40eb-b587-0d45ded8359aPost:db140e18-945f-4a55-9df6-e16a99c0f5ad">Re: What the hell was she thinking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What the hell was she thinking? : A girl in my club board got a new dress because her dress was shown on another girl on SYTTD when she was watching it with FI.  Sometimes I think girls give guys way too much credit.
    Posted by vicki0508[/QUOTE]

    This just gave me a headache.
  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_hell-she-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:fb18e588-4eb3-40eb-b587-0d45ded8359aPost:db140e18-945f-4a55-9df6-e16a99c0f5ad">Re: What the hell was she thinking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What the hell was she thinking? : A girl in my club board got a new dress because her dress was shown on another girl on SYTTD when she was watching it with FI.  <strong>Sometimes I think girls give guys way too much credit.</strong>
    Posted by vicki0508[/QUOTE]

    <div>So true, and it reminds of the Scrubs episode of Elliott and Carla are talking about something important but say the word "shoes" to get Turk/JD to not pay attention to the conversation. Very rarely do I see a guy care about clothing, if it isn't lingerie most guys are in their own little world. </div>
  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I showed my FI a picture of my dress and he said he didn't like it.  Fast forward to wedding day and he loved it.  I told him I had shown him a picture months earlier and reminded him he didn't like it and he couldn't recall the conversation.  Apologize to your sister and put it behind you.  Your sister is more important than your dress.
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  • KnibletKniblet member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What the hell was she thinking? : A girl in my club board got a new dress because her dress was shown on another girl on SYTTD when she was watching it with FI.  <strong>Sometimes I think girls give guys way too much credit.</strong>
    Posted by vicki0508[/QUOTE]
    Amen to that.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_hell-she-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:fb18e588-4eb3-40eb-b587-0d45ded8359aPost:2cf1667d-1ce3-444b-8bc1-13c3813eedfb">Re: What the hell was she thinking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What the hell was she thinking? : I don't think she <strong>sabataged </strong>me because of the dress she picked ( I love the dress), I am upset because of her pulling it out in front of FI and saying that it's a mini version of my dress after I told her that I already knew what it looked like and she didn't need to pull it out.  I think she did that on purpose--maybe <strong>sabatoage </strong>isn't the right word, but I feel like she did that on purpose.
    Posted by vinnyv11[/QUOTE]

    You're right<strong>: sabatoage </strong>isn't the right word; but then again, neither is <strong>sabataged!</strong>
  • edited December 2011
    She should apologize to you. I would be upset.
  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    great.  joiner's back with the usual outstanding advice.

    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Joiner- you think that she should apologize to her sister, really?  She "asked her what the f*ckshe was thinking and , I told her that was the dumbest f*cking thing she could have possible done."  That pretty darn rude and out of line.
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  • tldhtldh member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_hell-she-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:fb18e588-4eb3-40eb-b587-0d45ded8359aPost:187d75a3-fa50-46c9-8b64-a8458e87102d">Re: What the hell was she thinking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]She should apologize to you. I would be upset.
    Posted by joiner521[/QUOTE]

    Great...you're back. (note the sigh and shaking of head)
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  • courtney1188courtney1188 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You really think that your sister's thought process was, "I know! I'm going to get out the flower girl dress on purpose since my sister's FI is right there! It will ruin EVERYTHING!"

    No. Don't think so. She made a little mistake. Your reaction of cussing her out is way worse than what she did. If someone needs to apologize, that someone is you.
  • edited December 2011
    Yeah you should just say you are sorry on this one.

    I am not sure how other Fi's are but I could put a picture of my dress on his desk every day and he still wouldn't even have the color memorized(exaggeration obv) but really you were out of line.  Say you are sorry.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_hell-she-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:fb18e588-4eb3-40eb-b587-0d45ded8359aPost:db140e18-945f-4a55-9df6-e16a99c0f5ad">Re: What the hell was she thinking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What the hell was she thinking? : A girl in my club board got a new dress because her dress was shown on another girl on SYTTD when she was watching it with FI.  Sometimes I think girls give guys way too much credit.
    Posted by vicki0508[/QUOTE]

    How would her FI even know unless she was like OMG that's my dress?

    I understand your wanting to keep your dress a surprise but honestly he won't remember and you will look totally different in your dress than a child's dress on a hanger. I definately think you overreacted. It can be hard with wedding stuff sometimes, but I keep reminding myself-Big Picture, Big Picture!
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  • jcamm11jcamm11 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_hell-she-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:fb18e588-4eb3-40eb-b587-0d45ded8359aPost:ba2a5a84-a987-41e7-bba1-3f20f9b21c8d">Re: What the hell was she thinking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Again, I really think you're over-reacting.  It's just a white dress.  She's a little girl, not a fully grown adult.  You'll look way different in her dress than she will. Sounds to me like your sister was excited and couldn't wait to show you.  And you shot her down. You still owe her an apology.
    Posted by deepcovejackie[/QUOTE]

    The point is that she didn't want her FI to see her dress till the day of the wedding, and he saw the flower girl's dress which is a miniature version of her's, and now her FI knows what her dress looks like, so he won't be surprised.  That is the issue.

    It sucks that happened OP, but give her the benefit of the doubt and see it as an honest mistake.  Like PP's said, I am sure your dress on your body and the glimpse he saw of the flower girl's dress will look nothing alike, and he will still be stunned when he sees you on your wedding day.  Forgive your sister, and don't verbally abuse her by swearing at her and calling her actions stupid.  She was excited to show you the dress.
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  • jcamm11jcamm11 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_hell-she-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:fb18e588-4eb3-40eb-b587-0d45ded8359aPost:60694e6d-5b7d-4a5c-ad84-0ebd40e11fd4">Re: What the hell was she thinking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'd be pissed that she chose to turn her daughter into a "Mini -Me."   Kids dressed like a bride are creepy.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    It sounds like that's what the OP wanted.  You're weird.
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  • courtney1188courtney1188 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_hell-she-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:fb18e588-4eb3-40eb-b587-0d45ded8359aPost:8da55b30-10a6-45cf-9b80-a268df8496d6">Re: What the hell was she thinking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What the hell was she thinking? : The point is that she didn't want her FI to see her dress till the day of the wedding, and he saw the flower girl's dress which is a miniature version of her's, and now her FI knows what her dress looks like, so he won't be surprised.  That is the issue. It sucks that happened OP, but give her the benefit of the doubt and see it as an honest mistake.  Like PP's said, I am sure your dress on your body and the glimpse he saw of the flower girl's dress will look nothing alike, and he will still be stunned when he sees you on your wedding day.  Forgive your sister, and don't verbally abuse her by swearing at her and calling her actions stupid.  She was excited to show you the dress.
    Posted by jcamm11[/QUOTE]

    We know what the point was. Why would you tell people what the point is and that they apparantely didn't understand...and then repeat exactly what their post said about how her adult dress probably looks nothing like the little flower girl dress he barely saw.


    And most people agree that mini-brides are creepy, it does not make them weird to think so. And it doesn't sound like that was even OP's decision, since her sister was telling her it looks like her dress as if it was new information.
  • edited December 2011
    I think mini brides are creepy.
    I also don't like little girl beauty pageants, the same kind of creepy. 

    I think "the issue" is a non-issue. Nobody cares, really, except for OP. 

    I wonder is the sister isn' t causing drama as much as OP is creating the drama based on  some of  sister's actions. 
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_hell-she-thinking?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:fb18e588-4eb3-40eb-b587-0d45ded8359aPost:8da55b30-10a6-45cf-9b80-a268df8496d6">Re: What the hell was she thinking?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What the hell was she thinking? : The point is that she didn't want her FI to see her dress till the day of the wedding, and he saw the flower girl's dress which is a miniature version of her's, and now her FI knows what her dress looks like, so he won't be surprised.  That is the issue. It sucks that happened OP, but give her the benefit of the doubt and see it as an honest mistake.  Like PP's said, I am sure your dress on your body and the glimpse he saw of the flower girl's dress will look nothing alike, and he will still be stunned when he sees you on your wedding day.  Forgive your sister, and don't verbally abuse her by swearing at her and calling her actions stupid.  She was excited to show you the dress.
    Posted by jcamm11[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, I got the point.  I made reference to it in my next post.  Also, you shouldn't call people weird.
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