Who to invite to Rehearsal Dinner

Dandouna214

Hello Ladies!
so my BIG question is in regards to who to invite to the rehearsal dinner?
Our rehearsal dinner is on a thursday followed by the wedding held on saturday.  I always thought the rehearsal dinner was for the bridal party and a nice gesture to invite the out of town guests that have traveled here by Thursday.

My fiance wants to invite EVERYONE... the bridal party, the out of town guests, the families/relatives hosting the out of town guests AND our aunts/uncles that live local.
On the small end, we're looking at a total of maybe 30 people, but if we go with what my FI wants, we are looking at 60-70 people... Also, to note, money is not the issue.

I'm pretty firm on my opinion because i dont want a mini wedding 2 days before the wedding.  Plus while this is a nice gesture its completely not necessary. 

We had a big engagement party and are havnig a big wedding...and for once i want something to be somewhat small and somewhat private too.

i have a ton of other cousins who've gotten married and the invitation was never extended to us or anyone other than those in the bridal party.  I know everyone does what they want but i also disagree with the idea of having all these people at the rehearsal dinner--- thats not the purpose of the rehearsal dinner.

My FI agrees its not necessary and will go along with what i want but now i feel bad getting my way.

Help please... i need opinions and feedback on this.

HobokensFury

It is not necessary to invite everyone under the sun to the RD.  It's a nive gesture to invite OOT guest but if it's going to double your guest list it's perfectly fine not to. I invited mine only because there were only 2 of them and they were staying with MIL.

LiLe422

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_who-to-invite-to-rehearsal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:04314561-f464-42c0-82ea-af2fc3893aaaPost:1018354c-878e-4995-b8d6-bbc57dd27918">Who to invite to Rehearsal Dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello Ladies! so my BIG question is in regards to who to invite to the rehearsal dinner? Our rehearsal dinner is on a thursday followed by the wedding held on saturday.  I always thought the rehearsal dinner was for the bridal party and a nice gesture to invite the out of town guests that have traveled here by Thursday. My fiance wants to invite EVERYONE... the bridal party, the out of town guests, the families/relatives hosting the out of town guests AND our aunts/uncles that live local. On the small end, we're looking at a total of maybe 30 people, but if we go with what my FI wants, we are looking at 60-70 people... Also, to note, money is not the issue. I'm pretty firm on my opinion because<strong> i dont want a mini wedding 2 days before the wedding.  Plus while this is a nice gesture its completely not necessary.</strong>  We had a big engagement party and are havnig a big wedding...and for once i want something to be somewhat small and somewhat private too. i have a ton of other cousins who've gotten married and the invitation was never extended to us or anyone other than those in the bridal party.  I know everyone does what they want but i also disagree with the idea of having all these people at the rehearsal dinner--- thats not the purpose of the rehearsal dinner. <strong>My FI agrees its not necessary and will go along with what i want but now i feel bad getting my way.</strong> Help please... i need opinions and feedback on this.
Posted by Dandouna214[/QUOTE]

This is my school of thought too. 

If FI is totally cool with a small rehearsal dinner, there is nothing to feel bad about.   Its called compromise and its a beautiful thing!

jessicabessica

Either way is fine, as long as you and your FI are both ok with it.  We had a BBQ the day before our wedding and invited all 150 guests (everyone was basically from out of town).  I have to say I really enjoyed it, because I got to spend a lot more time with my guests in a more relaxed environment than the wedding itself, and I felt more relaxed when I was greeting guests at the reception.

Barbiiieee

I would just invite those who are invited to the rehersal itself. 

Since your RD is on Thursday, and the wedding is on Saturday, could you possibly host a welcome lunch for your OOT guests on Friday? That is a lot of things right in a row, but it might be a nice middle ground.

french_mani

I am almost in the same situation. I agree with how you feel about why do you need to have everyone at the RD when they will all be at the wedding two days later? I would just keep talking it out and I am sure you will find what feels right for you. 

Candip04

A way to compromise is to have the rehearsal dinner with the bridal party (and their guests) and then invite EVERYONE out to meet for a drink later. Thats what we are doing, but then again, we are not getting married until 6pm on Saturday, which means that everyone has time to recover from Friday night (note: you don't have to get wasted). My groom will be going out and everyone is invited to meet up with him, but I doubt I (or my girls) will be going.

I want by beauty sleep and we will be getting our hair done around noon, right after breakfast (so we don't have as much time as the boys to recover).

Ella and Pedro

My mom is hosting our Rehearsal/Welcome Dinner, and we're limiting it mainly based on her limited budget.  We have 25 people invited, which includes the Wedding/Reception Venue Manager and the Rev. (who has already graciously declined the rehearsal and reception....I think she's macrobiotic vegan or similar.) Since our wedding involves my mom (who is on a fixed income and disabled) also paying for a hotel room several days, we all agreed to keep it to Aunts Uncles Parents and Siblings....no cousins, even those coming from out of town.)  This also enabled us to select a regular restaurant vs. needing to get a banquet hall sort of venue (and this is a destination wedding so doing a rehearsal at home - potluck or some such - was out of the question.)    If as you say money is no object, I agree with the poster who said invite the larger crowd for cocktails after but keep the meal to a small group.  Maybe do an optional excursion where you treat those who sign up (RSVP card?) to their tickets.  Something like a big group visit to a local museum, aquarium, movie, or mini golf?

Good luck!