Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

FI & I want to sit with family to eat dinner...weird?

FI & I got the idea from another wedding we'd been to and thought it was so awesome. We really want to not do a head table or a sweetheart table and instead sit with our parents, my sister, and his grandmother. We saw FI's cousin do this and it looked so nice. We're both super family oriented and thought this would be great especially since we are having our wedding in another state so this way our BP can bring their dates and sit with them at the reception and no one feels weird.
When I told my Mom about this she seemed shocked and said "I hope you're planning on doing something traditional for this wedding". We are, by the way, having a pretty traditional wedding, this is really the only thing I can think of that we've decided to stray from tradition-wise. I actually thought our parents would really think this was sweet. Definitely wrong.
What are your thoughts? Are we being outrageous?

Re: FI & I want to sit with family to eat dinner...weird?

  • Well, it's a nice thought.  But are your parents on board with it?  The reason I ask is that one of the really fun parts of my childrens' weddings was hosting our own table, and sharing the wedding with our OOT family.

    And, selfishly, I don't really care for my DD's ILs.  I can be cordial with them when we're together, but the choice to share a table with our family or her new in-laws?  Wouldn't have even been a question.   And I'm pretty sure they feel the same way.  We're just very different people.

    I'd have sucked it up if she had asked.  But instead she and her DH had a sweetheart table, we hosted our own table, and my SIL's parents hosted their own table.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • I agree with PP.

    I don't think it's weird at all but I know from weddings I've been to, it seems like parents, especially moms, are also just as busy socializing as B&G.
  • not weird at all and if your family was into it, then it would be great! however, it sounds like they're not. for our wedding we are doing a kings' table - one really long table that we will all sit at [there's only 30 guests].

    The PP's have valid concerns - do your parents and your FIL's genuinely like each other? or would they rather sit with their own family members?

    I hate the idea of head tables. so I def vote that you do the sweetheart table if you end up not sitting with the parents. but personally, I love the idea of sitting with your parents... which is why we are doing the kings' table
  • All valid points. It's easy to get caught up in "my big day" and not consider why my Mom wouldn't like it. I'm going to sit down and talk to her, give her the option of hosting a table and go from there. This was also in the same conversation as me saying I wanted a bouquet of long stemmed calla lily's instead of an enormous bouquet of roses which seemed to throw her off as well and upset her a bit.  I just have to keep in mind that my Mom has been imagining how this day will go for as long as I have probably.
    Thanks for the help ladies!
  • I think it is nice.  My FI and I are approaching our wedding celebration as a big dinner party, so we're sitting with family at one of 8 tables.  Each of us has just one attendant, so a "head table" with just 4 people would be weird, I think.


  • You should do what you think is right. I think it's so wonderful that you both are so family oriented and want to be literally surrounded by those that love you most. Go for it! It's definitely something different and it could possibly become a new trend :)
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