Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

walking down alone, no father daughter dance

i've thought about this for sometime now.. but haven't really figured out exactly how i'm gonna pull it off without hurting my dad's feelings... My dad and I ( in my opinion ) just don't have the kind of "traditional" relationship... i know he might want it that way but fact of the matter is it just isn't.  I am the oldest an will probably be the first to actually get married. My younger sister has been engaged, not engaged, single, engaged again for the past couple of years... so the option of me being like "Oh, He'll get the walk down the isle and fatehr daughter dance with her" is pretty much a NO!So i kinda feel a bit stuck... i don't want to hurt his feelings, though I know he would say i'm not and he just wants me to be happy and say i don't really want those kinds of things at my wedding. The relationship my fiance has with his mother is VERY traditional. He is her first born son and she loves the hell out of him... and would be HEARTBROKEN not to have the mother son dance kind of thing... so i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Doesn't seem right to have one but not the other... One other option is.. the dances wouldn't be the "slow, sappy" dance... thinking of being crazy. Jim ( fiance) is thinking about doing Footloose with His mom... and that might work out a bit better for me where my dad is concerned... main point is.. our wedding is going to be VERRRRRY NON-traditional... but i don't want to hurt feelings by skipping or omiting certain things. any ideas would be awesome!

Re: walking down alone, no father daughter dance

  • Can you just not have him walk you down the aisle but still go ahead and do the father/daughter dance?  Maybe at the same time your FI and his mom are doing theirs, if they don't mind.  I would think you could handle a 2-3 minute dance with your Dad.
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  • Honestly, non of us (my family or fiance's family) are much into dancing, so we might not even have it. And I think my dad will be relieved to not have to dance. Not sure how he'll feel about the aisle walk, which he's not doing with me, but which I still have to tell him he's not doing with me*. (At my parent's wedding, my mom was so traditional that she had her mother's then-husband, who was number 3, walk her down the aisle.) My suggestion would be to have fiance and his mom start the dance, then have you and your dad join in half way through.*Ok, actually I still have to tell both my parents about my engagement. I'm waiting to do it in person and we live in separate states. It's REALLY hard to keep quiet about it!
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  • awdammYou sound like me kinda. Me and my father are not the traditional "daddies little girl" - I will be walking down the aisle by myself and I will not be doing the F/D dance but my FI and FMIL will do S/M dance. We are so non traditional when it comes to the wedding. My FI will dance w. his mother first and then we thought he would then dance w. my mother halfway thru the song. It might work for you w. the whole F/D dance. Maybe dance w. your father and then maybe switch it up w. your FFIL. Just an idea, HTH! GL!
  • I just had a similar discussion. If you don't want to hurt your dad's feelings just tell your parents you are doing a non-traditional wedding. Or have him waiting for you at the end of the aisle. My father is in a wheelchair and my brother will walk me down to him. So that also cancels the father/daughter dance. I just recently went to a wedding and at the reception the only dance was the first dance by the bride and groom. Do what makes YOU feel comfortable and happy!
  • I'm kind of in the same situation. I don't want my dad to walk me down the aisle, and I don't want a "traditional" father/daughter dance either, I want my dad to be there of course, but I don't want my family and friends turning their attention to moments that conjure up nostalgia for some ideal relationship between a "daddy" and his "little girl," because...we are not that and never have been. I will share at least one dance with my father, but we will not be the only ones on the dance floor, and there will be no special announcement that it is a "father/daughter dance."
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