Bridal Shower vs. Bachelorette Party

TaraNSmith03

I think this is a good place to post this, and I hope I don't come off too tacky.  I have always liked bridal showers, and wanted one for myself when my day has finally come.  Well, the time is quickly approaching, and my sister (MOH) is only excited about the Bachelorette party.  I don't really want one and I would rather have a shower.  When I told her this she said she didn't want to throw a shower, and is recruiting my friends to throw the BP and not a shower.  I need help with how to deal with this issue.

SarahPLiz

You can decline the bachelorette party if you don't want it, but you can never ask someone to throw a party for you. That's just rude. You only get those parties if someone offers to throw one for you. If she (or anyone else) is not offerring to throw a shower, then you don't get one. Its ok to be disappointed, but keep your focus on your wedding and marriage, both of which will be valid without a shower.

golden1215

I don't think it sounds tacky as 99% of people have a bridal shower- it's pretty easy to assume you'll get one.  You're technically not supposed to assume you'll get wedding gifts either but everyone does... so, I think if you explain your reasons to her she may change her mind.  Or if not cancel the BP, at least also plan a shower.  BPs are very often more for the guests (single) that want a night on the town, male entertainment etc that the bride whose already in a committed relationship so she's being selfish- but it happens.  Like Sarah said you can always decline the BP to get your point across, but BP dont have to be wild and tacky... they can be classy and fun if done right!

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_bridal-shower-vs-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:28894dcf-6bd4-482e-83fa-5792ec6e4acbPost:76220460-9a90-4f51-b151-16eb1db67ed6">Bridal Shower vs. Bachelorette Party</a>:
[QUOTE]I think this is a good place to post this, and I hope I don't come off too tacky.  I have always liked bridal showers, and wanted one for myself when my day has finally come.  Well, the time is quickly approaching, and my sister (MOH) is only excited about the Bachelorette party.  I don't really want one and I would rather have a shower.  When I told her this she said she didn't want to throw a shower, and is recruiting my friends to throw the BP and not a shower.  I need help with how to deal with this issue.
Posted by TaraNSmith03[/QUOTE]

It is incredibly rude to ask for, demand, hint at or otherwise get someone to throw you a shower.  I can understand that you are disappointed that no one is offering to throw one, but remember that a shower is a gift that someone chooses to give you.  If you MOH does not want to throw one, you need to leave it alone.  Perhaps another friend of family member will decide that they'd like to.  Or they won't.  There's nothing you can do about it without coming off as selfish and demanding.

As for the b-party, if you don't want it, decline it. 

duckie1905

If she offers a bach party if you don't want one you can decline.  But, you can't ask for anything instead.  Unless someone offers to throw you a shower, just don't have one.

I <3 Seabass

You've already told her how you feel and she said she's not throwing you a shower so there'e not much you can do but maybe hope that someone else offers to throw you a bridal shower. If you really don't want a BP then you should decline. No point in your friends spending money on a party that you don't want.

TaraNSmith03

I didn't tell her to throw me one.  I just told her what was important to me, and that I don't really want a BP.  The only person I have voiced my true feelings about the situation is to my fiance, and I just vented.  It is not at all about the gifts to me since I have been on my own for 10 years now.  I just wanted a calm shower, and not a wild night out that my single friends have planned.  I will go with the flow like normal, but wanted to know how I should address the situation.  Thanks ladies. :-)