Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

How can I involve my stepdad in the ceremony and/or reception?

I grew up in my mother's house with my stepdad since I was ten, but my father was very much involved in my life.  I'm my father's only child and I want him to walk me down the isle and be a part of the first dance.  I need ideas for including my stepdad in the ceremony and/or reception because he's been a huge part of my life as well, but I'm not sure how to include him.  Any ideas?

Re: How can I involve my stepdad in the ceremony and/or reception?

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_how-can-i-involve-my-stepdad-in-the-ceremony-andor-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:2bce2cb9-c8a3-4c57-b536-30e4d7c62973Post:ca7a56e1-e320-42cd-b68c-ede4f676e66d">How can I involve my stepdad in the ceremony and/or reception?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I grew up in my mother's house with my stepdad since I was ten, but my father was very much involved in my life.  I'm my father's only child and I want him to walk me down the isle and be a part of the first dance.  I need ideas for including my stepdad in the ceremony and/or reception because he's been a huge part of my life as well, but I'm not sure how to include him.  Any ideas?
    Posted by ktbsparks[/QUOTE]

    Off the top of my head
    You could have dad walk you halfway down the aisle, then hand off to stepdad )or vice versa)
    You could have one on each arm as you walk down the aisle
    If you're having your officiant ask who gives this bride or what ever they could both respond "we do"
    You could let one or both of them make a toast at the reception

    I'm sure others will respond with more ideas...
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  • I had a similar situation:
    I had both of them walk me down the aisle, one on each arm.
    I did a father-daughter dance with each of them, each to a song that had meaning to me and my dad/step-dad.
    Also, I opted to give a short "thank-you" speech/toast (1 minute long) and thanked my mom, and then my father, and then my step-father.
    Whatever you're comfortable with.
    Praying for a miracle!
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Give him a boutinierre. Seat him in the first row with your mom. Ask him to do a reading.
                       
  • I had my stepdad walk me halfway down the aisle to my dad, hand me off, and then my dad walked me the rest of the way. During the ceremony, the reverend asked if the "bride's family supports the union" - bio mom, stepdad, bio dad, and stepmom all answered together. I also did a second father-daughter dance with him at the reception (so it was first dance as a married couple, father-daughter dance with my bio dad, mother-son dance with DH & MIL, then father-daughter dance with my stepdad).

    Have you thought about asking him (or having your mother ask) what he is comfortable doing and/or looking forward to? I originally wanted both my stepdad and my bio dad to walk me down the aisle together. Stepdad told my mom he was uncomfortable with that (he didn't want to be at the center of attention for that long & also didn't want to "steal" my dad's moment).
  • I have a similar situation. I'm thinking of doing a second father-daughter dance with my step-father.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'd start by asking him about how involved he would like to be (and I'd include your mother in the conversation). 

    Once you know that, there is probably a pretty wide variety of ways he can be included.  The PPs have made some good suggestions.
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