Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Indian traditional wedding- Kashmiri

i am marrying an Indian man, Kashmiri to be exact.  I am desperately looking for the carm called dejhoor in USA. I would also love to know of any other places or websites where I can go to for a dress and other attire I need. The wedding will be in India, my mother in law to be wants it to be as traditional as possible. I am American, I don't know how traditional it can possibly be. 
Also if anyone knows, would you lease tell em what it to be expected of me. I was told I need to bring gifts for this aunt and that aunt...I really dont feel good about all these demands and gift giving for people I have never met, nor do they care one bit about me. 
All I care about is getting the dejhoor here in the USA. 

Re: Indian traditional wedding- Kashmiri

  • I agree with CMGr to check out the cultural boards. 

    As for the clothing- I bet you can find Indian clothing somewhere near you. Boston's a pretty big city there should be something, even if you have to travel a bit. I know of several places to get Indian clothing here in Chicago. 

    For the gifts for the aunts, it seems pretty typical to me to bring gifts to family memebers, even if you haven't met them yet. Whenever my family travels, we bring gifts for whoever hosts us, plus some extras for people who help out along the way. Your fiance should give you an idea of what's appropriate. 
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  • My fi is South Indian, so that's obviously completely different, but I'll relate what I've gleaned in case it's helpful... His mother has given me jewelry (a necklace and a set with matching necklace & earrings) and 2 scarves/wraps. Each gift was definitely place-specific--it meant something because of where it was from. I think that's probably the best advice as far as bringing gifts, try to bring something that's specific to where you're from & that you think they'd enjoy. It doesn't need to be expensive at all, just thoughtful.

    If you're getting married in India, I think you have to take a deep breath and realize that there are going to be customs that are new and/or uncomfortable to you. Just prepare yourself to go with the flow as much as possible. If you are flexible and cede some of the control for the planning, it will probably go more smoothly. My experience is that people are happy to help you negotiate their culture if you ask for help and are open to their suggestions. Maybe you could even purchase mos of your attire etc once you get to India?? Personally, we're doing an enggement ceremony in India, but not the actual wedding, and I'm hoping to do a lot of my shopping for my jewelry and wedding sari there as opposed to paying more and running the risk of being a mismash of cultures if I got it here.

    Good Luck! Also, look up "" if you want a community that's familiar with negotiating a lot of this stuff. :-) 
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