Photos BEFORE the ceremony?

jessiemckane

When my close friend announced to me that her & her husband were going to be doing their professional photos before the ceremony I was shocked, appalled, horrified.. Okay, maybe that's going too far (and of course I did not breathe a word to her about how I felt)- but I REALLY didn't dig the idea. I thought that it would take away that special moment of your future husband seeing you for the first time as you walked down the aisle.

Well, I was lucky enough to be a bridesmaid in her wedding this past weekend.. and I will admit that I am definitely "for" the pre-ceremony photos. It was wonderful! The photos were not rushed and there was time to get in every shot they wanted, and the bride and groom were just super relaxed with each other before the ceremony. There was no "lag" before the reception, we went straight from the ceremony into the recieving line right into the reception. And all in all, it seemed to take a ton of pressure off of the bride and groom, they truly enjoyed spending time together before the ceremony, which is what a wedding is all about, right? Spending time with your future husband!

Anyway- this has been really long-winded, but my opinion of pre-ceremony photos has completely changed, and my fiance and I now plan to do it at our wedding.

What do you all think? I don't think either way is right or wrong, I am just curious of opinions, as a (an otherwise laid back and not super worried about customs) girl who used to be dead set against this practice.

AmeliaAndSeth8890

I am doing it - and I think it's fantastic! Plus hair and makeup is fresh for pics.

Have you heard of the "first look" photo? It's so the B&G still have that "surprised" look when they first see eachother or whatever since they don't have that walking down the aisle.

May I ask why you were so against them? Besides being unfamiliar with the practice?

ashleighc83

I think it's the best idea. I think my fiancé seeing me for the first time is a special and intimate moment, so doing it quietly before the BIG moment, privately (or without 300 ppl watching you) is a great idea! It'll calm the cold-feet effect before going to the church and your guests will love that they're not deserted for hours while the wedding party is getting pictures done.

We're also doing this, but we're getting married in Italy so the custom there is to walk to the church together

sister2groom

I think doing at least some photos before the ceremony is courteous to your guests (at the least ones that don't include the bride and groom together). But it's obviously a personal opinion, and both the bride and groom need to be on the same page.

I think it's nice though to have at least some portraits, of the couple after the ceremony, you'll both be a bit more relaxed and obviously happier.

jessienjeremy

We are doing the group photos.. like me with bridesmaids and him with groomsmen before. I am too traditional and I dont want him to see me before the wedding.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_photos-before-ceremony-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:4707187c-7cfe-451c-9177-12b6b2ff8bc9Post:895aa9f6-b350-473b-a804-f75d68e793ae">Re: Photos BEFORE the ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]We are doing the group photos.. like me with bridesmaids and him with groomsmen before. I am too traditional and I dont want him to see me before the wedding.
Posted by jessienjeremy[/QUOTE]

Ditto this. This is exactly what we did. Our photographer did pics of the guys and girls and me with all my BM's and him with all his GM. We also got pics of both Mom's, Grandma's, etc.

mysticl

I like the tradition of not seeing the bride in her dress till she hits the aisle.  We both agree on that.  Also, our venue does not permit pictures to be taken prior to the ceremony.  We are given a limited amount of time in the Sanctuary afterwards for pictures. 

ashleighc83

I would definitely NOT wear my ring before the wedding (except when it comes in to see if it fits). There are wayyyyyyy too many superstitions saying that it's bad luck to wear it before it's blessed...that's just me. Question is, when you spill salt, do you throw some over your shoulder in case of bad luck? hahaha

JJWillis3

You guys are making this so hard on me! I was dead set on not seeing eachother until I walked down the isle. I had planned on us taking seperate pictures beforehand like BMs and myself, GM and my Fiance, etc.

Although, the idea of not making my guests wait while we go take pictures sounds amazing. One of my concerns is that we will feel rushed while taking the pictures after the ceremony since all of our guests will be in there without us. I know they will be fine, that;s not my concern. My concern is that I won't be in there enjoying it too.

I think I might leave the decision up to my Fiance!

sweets18

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_photos-before-ceremony-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:4707187c-7cfe-451c-9177-12b6b2ff8bc9Post:895aa9f6-b350-473b-a804-f75d68e793ae">Re: Photos BEFORE the ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]We are doing the group photos.. like me with bridesmaids and him with groomsmen before. I am too traditional and I dont want him to see me before the wedding.
Posted by jessienjeremy[/QUOTE]

We are doing this too... I still just want to wait to see him until I walk down the aisle. It is just something about being at the end of the aisle and looking to the front and seeing him and his reaction for the first time that is so romantic to me. But I do know of several people who have done the first look photo and taken pics before. I just personally don't care if my guests have to wait for me at the reception which shouldn't be long. Our reception and our ceremony are at two different locations so we have more time due to travel time. But to each his own.

yannasmom

I am doing all of my photos before the ceremony. I want to be sure that my guests dont have too much idle time (since the only reason that we have a wedding is to entertain loved ones). I also want to enjoy all of my hard work. I think that there is still a special feeling that will be there when we get to see each other down that aisle. We will have all of the formality out of the way and we can enjoy each other!

NillaWafer10

I wish we had done it, but H really wanted to be traditional.  I think in hindsight, I wish we would have just fed our guests dinner while we took photos.

becgrose

We are doing our pictures beforehand, too. I was very much into the "first look" moment the first time I heard about it. We will do a few photographs afterwards - probably with just us- just because timing should put us at sunset. 

We are having a small-ish wedding, and my fiance has seen my wedding dress, so the dress isn't a surprise-- but that moment when it is all pulled together: him in his tux, me all done up, meeting at the river's edge, that's totally something I want to be between the 2 of us. 

jdc347

We are doing the first look too. At first I was really undecided, but after talking with my photographer and seeing some of the first look photos, I decided it was definitely for us! My MOH wasn't too happy at first, but when I explained it all to her, she understood.
We will be including my daughter in the first look as well. My fiance will have his back to us as we walk over to him, and then my daughter will go and pull on his sleeve for him to turn around and see the two of us in our dresses!

bannd67

My husband and I did the pre wedding photos and we loved it.  We had the rehersal set up for the evening after the photo shoot,cause our best man and maid of honour were both from way out of town.  I rented a white minivan and we all met with assorted formal wear and piled in and went to the shoot together.  Then we spent about 4 hours getting ready and doing photos. then off to the rehersal at the church.  It was an Orthodox wedding so hubby and best man were not familiar with it. After 2 hours there, we gathered in the priest and we all went to the rehersal dinner at a fabvulous local resturant.  The wedding day went soo smoothly, it was funny.  We were all so relaxed and zipped right through it(especially since the ceremony can be 1 1/2hrs long).  I highly recommend it.

AbbeyS2011

I asked FI about this since we have both been married before.  He wants it to be very traditional - no first look, he will see me when I walk down the aisle, I will be wearing a blusher veil (much to the shock of my MOH), and we will take pics afterwards.  Since our ceremony and reception sites are so close - less than a mile apart - we will take group photos before but separately - and the entire wedding party photos afterwards.

I think it is a very personal choice between the bride and groom and should be decided together.

mscita2

So exactly what is the "first look" photo shot? 

My fiance and I planned on taking separate pics with our party before the wedding (and with family), then taking a few group shots after the ceremony.  Our photographer then would take us all over our venue to get our couple shots (at sunset, etc.)  We have an hour and a half between the ceremony and the reception (cocktail hour).

AmeliaAndSeth8890

Mscita - the "first look" is what some couples choose to do instead of the typical "first look of the bride" picture of the groom. You know how a photog will capture groom's face when he sees the bride for the first time. Well the point of the first look is to still get the same effect without waiting for the ceremony. It's an intimate way to capture the first look before, so you don't forego  the surprise really, IMO.

I get that some people want to stick with tradition, but I think it's a personal preference thing and depends on how you see your day going.

Summer2011Bride

I am not doing it. I am not superstitious or anything like that, but my whole life I've thought about the look on my hubby's face as he sees me walking down the aisle for the first time. Cheesy, maybe. But I'm traditional in that sense. We are doing as many photos separately though as we can before. We are doing me with my bridal party, him with his, and possibly some individual shots of each of us separately. That def. cuts down on some of the photos afterwards.

Ghoti

It's a first look either way, if you're alone or surrounded by friends and family.

dunn1678

After going through my sister wedding and having her and her husband as well as everyone involved in pictures have to rush through just to make it back in time for the end of cocktail hour I am all for doing the pictures before.

FI and I have talked about it and we both decided that it is going to be special either way and this way no one will be stressed out and we can get the pictures we really want. My sister's pictures were good but they were all posed pictures and not very many of her and her husband. We really want to take the time to get lots of pictures of everything and then have the time post ceremony to hang with our guests and just relax. Of course we will take a few post ceremony pictures but for the most part they will all be done before.

moemalone25

My sister did her pictures before the ceremony and it was a great idea. I am all for it! What they did was set her up at he front of the church all by herself all ready to go and beautiful then had their song playing while the groom walked down the aisle toward her. She said it was an awesome moment between them and they got a little alone time to see eachother before the wedding, get some tears out, and calm their nerves! Then during the ceremony he still got to see her walk down the aisle toward him. I think it is a cute twist that they both got to walk to eachother that day.

mandarose83

not speaking as a bride at the moment but as a person who has been involved in 12 weddings in the past 18 months.(four as a bridesmaid)   Please please please do as many pictures as you can BEFORE the wedding.  One session took almost an hour because none of the pictures had been taken and guests were leaving before the bride and groom came out.  The bride was heartbroken.  (poor planing in my opinion on the photographers part)  It was a very stressful time for everyone and she ended up not getting some of the family shots she wanted.   

As a bride I am very very traditional, however, we are doing a first look.  I have no doubt walking down to the alter will be a very powerful moment, because its the last time I will be walking as a single girl anywhere.  I want a private moment with him before the day gets crazy.  It is going to be a very emotional moment for both of us, and I don't think you can fully show or enjoy that with your boss watching.  (both of our bosses have RSVPed..) 

So the short of it is:  to be respectful of everyone's time do as many of the pics as you can before hand...even if you aren't doing a first look.

frobuzz

I see both sides of the dilemma.
Personally, we're taking all pictures that can be done without he and I in the same picture before the wedding and everything that involves us both after the wedding.  There is a cocktail hour prior to the wedding and we're hoping that 1 hour time slot will be sufficient time to get pictures of our entire families and he and i done.  Our wedding is in January (in KS) so there won't be any driving around to different venues for pictures.

JaiBird

We plan on doing the grooms men and groom, bridesmaids and bride photos before hand as well. We dont want to make everyone wait forever to eat. The fruit and cheese and crackers can only hold them so long. And since the open bar starts right away...I'd hate for everyone to be toasted before the food is served LOL!

weddingsbykole

Just adding my 2 cents...while we actually got married in June this year, we are doing the BIG ceremony for our anniversary next year, and am clear that I don't want him to see me AT ALL before I walk down the aisle.  I plan to have 2 photographers (great, talented friends of ours) to work the ceremony and events, and one of them will be charged with capturing his expression as he sees me, and as I walk towards him. Priceless!  I can completely understand all of the reasons given here for doing pics before - we will each have all of our individuals with the bridal party (me and my girls, he and his boys) done prior, but then a set amount of time will be given towards family photos and combined photos after the ceremony.
WE have over 200 guests so we are letting themn start the buffet while we are gone to get the bulk of the people started and so we can stay on schedule with the dancing and later events...

ktstan

We don't want to keep our guests waiting at the reception but we both want the first time we see each other to be when I'm walking down the aisle. Like a few others, our photographer suggested doing bride and bridesmaids and groom and groomsmen before the ceremony and then doing the whole party after. Our venue is a historic manor so we're hoping our guests will be okay with checking out the house while we snap  few extra photos. Our photographer also suggested we sneak out of our reception to take a few photos as the sun is going down. We both LOVED this idea. I hear all the time how couples wish they would have had just a few minutes to themselves after the ceremony and sneaking away to take some pictures alone seems like a great idea to me.

jenc1121

We are doing a combination of both.  My family and the bridesmaids and I will be doing pics before hand.  Then he, his family and the groomsmen will take their photos after me.  We won't be doing pic together until after the ceremony, so we still have that moment where he sees me for the first time.  We will be finishing up the rest of the photos after, while our guests enjoy the cocktail hour at the reception site.

One of my friends did this for her wedding and it worked really well!

ktstan

As an addition, my close friend planned to have most of her photos taken before the ceremony. As usual, things were running just a tad behind and many of her guests ended up seeing her before the ceremony.

On top of that, we ended up taking more pictures of the whole bridal party at her reception site (45 minutes away from the ceremony site) and her guests STILL ended up waiting almost 2 hours for the bride and groom to arrive.

nanderson09

The way I see it, if you're paying a ton of money to hire a pro to take pictures of you, why not give yourself ample time to get the most out of your photo shoot instead of rushing to do them right after the cermeony?

Also, I have a feeling that I'm going to cry for various reasons at the ceremony (including because my dad passed away a few months ago, and I don't know if I'll make it down the aisle without tears) so we figured that doing most of the pics before would ba a good way to make sure that we look our best.

bandita0203

We are also doing photos before the wedding. When we first got engaged, I was like you; I thought I was dead-set against it. Really for no other reason that tradition. But after I gave it some more thought, it makes the most sense. Our ceremony and reception is at the same location, so by taking pictures before, we won't feel rushed and won't have to miss the cocktail hour. And I am very excited to do the first look shot. It will be just as emotional as seeing each other for the first time down the aisle. Actually, our expressions will probably be better captured in a first look shot than one where we see each other for the first time at the ceremony.