Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

how to include my stepmother (without offending my mother?)

my parents are divorced and remarried (or almost married)... i live closer to my mom and her fiancee and I'm close to my mom but  not really him.  I don't consider him my "stepdad"... my dad and his wife live far away and while i don't see them often i feel very close to both of them.  i want a way to do something a little special for her.. but not anything that will make my mom feel slighted... any ideas?  although i should mention everyone does get a long - all 4 have been together before and it's fine.  so i'm not worried about a fight or anything, i just want to make both my mom and stepmom feel special... but maybe my mom a little more special than my stepmom... make sense?

i thought for walking down the aisle.. it would be his mom accompanied by his dad... my mom accompanied by her fiancee... and then my stepmother accompanied by my brother/groomsman... and my dad with me... would that be okay?

my officiant also suggested a little "ritual" to honor the mothers... basically instead of my dad "giving me away" my dad would walk me up and then she'd ask the other parents to stand and say something like "do you support this marriage" and then turn around and give the moms roses... but do my stepmom and "stepdad" stand too?  does stepmom get a flower? 
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