Engagement Party? Do or don't?

zajack1

I never really realized that people have engagement parties. Is this something that most people do, or just those who choose to?

Also, we were engaged in June of this year, but are not getting married until July 2014, so we still have awhile to go.  We are really on a budget, so we don't know if we would even have one, and if we did it would be a bbq-type gathering. If we were to hold an engagement party, who gets invited, and when is the proper time to hold one?


Advice?

GoodLuckBear14

You wouldn't host one.  E-parties are thrown in your honor by others.  If someone does this, then you have an e-party.  If nobody offers, then you don't have one.

RebeccaB88

An engagement party is something that is given to you, not something you do for yourself.  Parents, other family, or friends can all host the party.  And, it can be any kind of party you want it to be, from formal to your casual bbq idea. 

You need to firm up your wedding guest list before the party.  Everyone invited to the engagement party must also be invited to the wedding ceremony and reception.  If you can't firm up your guest list in time, then you should have a small party and include only those VIPs who will be invited no matter what.  Your wedding guest list will depend on your budget and venue (cost, building capacity, etc).  Even if you are planning a destination wedding or a very small wedding, the same rules apply that everyone must be invited to both. 

If you can't decide on your guest list this soon, you can also just have a casual get-together that's not a formal engagement party or anything wedding related, just a party to have fun.  This you could plan and pay for yourself.

itzMS

It's a cultural/regional thing from what I've discovered.
Kind of along the lines of things like bridal portraits and "gift opening parties".

I'd say just pass on the concept of an engagement party, especially if you've never heard of them in your circle and no one has even mentioned hosting one for you.

pesematology

The party for my first engagement was something my parents did to get to meet my then-FI's parents. It was just hors d'oeuvres at my parents' house.

misssunshine17

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_engagement-party-do-or-dont?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:5aa08093-7dae-4d34-be86-478cb3ad6a46Post:32486de9-49ce-4595-ba77-9280dc207c06">Re: Engagement Party? Do or don't?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>You wouldn't host one.  E-parties are thrown in your honor by others.  If someone does this, then you have an e-party.  If nobody offers, then you don't have one.</strong>
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

<div>This. No one offered, so we didn't have one. Fine by me. </div>

ebcorrigan

Often times the parents throw the engagement party as a way for the immediate families to meet and celebrate the engagement. My parents had one for us and it was very low key but very nice to have. 

MrsGandthebeag

I've been to probably around 20 weddings and have never been to an e party.  I think it's kind of AWish.

[Deleted User]

We didn't have an e-party. The one thing that we did do this summer was have a cook out for our immediate families (parents & siblings & their families) and everyone in the bridal party with their family. We thought this was a good chance for the parents and the bridal party to meet and get to know each other in a relaxed setting before the wedding.

OwningAHome1981

Everyone says you shouldn't throw one for yourself- I'm not going to tell you SHOULD- however we did and we paid for it by ourselves and everyone had a great time. We had open bar for 4 hours and unlimited buffet foods- I don't know who earth would complain about that. Some people gave gifts, some did not, and it was fine. The gifts were not the purpose of it anyway, we just wanted to get all the families and friends together.

Peledreamsofrain

It's really not in style anymore to have engagement parties.  And honestly, I can understand why with how expensive things are nowadays. 

I felt badly enough that my SIL and MIL spent so much on making my Bridal Shower a beautiful and wonderful event.  I know they don't have much money, and I would die of shame if they had dug into their pockets for ANOTHER party in my honor.  Too too much. We don't need that many. 

anssett

huh. FI & I threw a party at our house & invited our friends. We were celebrating that we'd gotten engaged. We got some booze & friends brought wine and food. It was a blast. Our parents aren't really involved in the engagement process since we're grown ups. They also all live out of state so it's irrelevant. 

NOLAbridealmost

Our friend hosted an E party for us.  It was a lot of fun.  

Just a few points:  you never host your own (it's impolite to host a party in your own honor), they aren't gift-giving events, and really they ought to be fairly close to when you get engaged (if you're closer to the wedding date than the engagement date, the ship has basically sailed). 

Ajuliana

To the poster who said engagement parties are not in style...since when is ANY party not in style?  People have Super Bowl parties, Dog Wedding parties, Housewarming parties, and I've even heard of a "We paid off our mortgage" parties.  

In my family, and in every family we know in California who has gotten engaged in the last few years, there has been an engagement party.  And I like to think California is a pretty stylish place.  

Getting2Vowels

I was engaged years ago, the first time, and we threw a quazi eparty....kind of a "getting to know you party" for parents and friends. It was casual and more of a backyard bbq with games. Noone got us gifts except for cards, which was fine and what we wanted. It was a good opportunity to get everyone together. Id say if you want a party go ahead and throw it. Why wait for someone to do it for you?

yellowdaisies84

My advice for these types of things is: if nobody offers to host one for you, then don't worry about it. (Although, I'm in no way against a couple having their own engagement party at their house if they have the room, the means, and really want to do it.)