Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Catholic Church and Elopement

Hi fellow Knotties!

I wasn't sure where to put this question categorically speaking, but this seemed the best bet...?

My fiance and I are planning to have our wedding sometime between June of 2012 and the fall of 2012. Currently, the date is set at 6/9/12, however we've had some major finance setbacks that may put that date in jeopardy. We may have to push back the date, which is fine, because we've only really announced it to our close family and friends, no save the dates or anything. 

However, I was emancipated a few years ago in order to help my dad out. He has been out of a job for years and still court ordered to pay child support to my mother even though I was over 20 years old! But, because of doing that, I can no longer be listed on his insurance policy. I can't afford my own insurance because I am already struggling to pay for the remainder of college on my own, and my job barely covers my bills now. 

Last night, my fiance asked me if I would please consider doing a secret legal elopement with him. He is a teacher and was very serious when he said that he wants me to be taken care of, and wants me on his insurance as soon as possible. Before I was taken off my dad's insurance, I found out I had stage 0 cervical cancer. It's stage 0, and often times that's just abnormal cells and it can even tend to disappear on it's own, but there were a few months there where it did not go away, not even after a couple of treatments, and doctors said that I needed to stay very on top of it to prevent it from ever getting worse. If I don't do that, I could risk it getting worse and losing the ability to have children, or worse getting very seriously ill. 

This is all something I've tried to push from my mind since I lost insurance, but my fiance made a very serious plea to me last night to have a civil wedding now, and our "real" one as we had planned it in 2 years or so.

So the problem that is bothering me is that he is Catholic. I am not, but his priest is aware of that, and also aware that we live together, and is still comfortable in performing a Catholic Nuptial SERVICE (not mass). But, if we're legally married (not spiritually married), can we still have a Nuptial service, or would it HAVE to be a Convalidation ceremony? 

We're planning on recognizing our Religious ceremony as our true wedding, and so the plans that come along after a wedding like children and such would not be something we pursued until after our marriage in a church. 

My fiance was very emotional about doing this, and I want to do this for him because I love him and it's something he really wants, but I don't want to sacrifice our ability to have a religious wedding later on. 

Any advice would be appreciated. It's just a tough situation because I can see where he's coming from in being worried about me, but I don't want to jeopardize our wedding day being what we've always wanted.  
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