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His younger sis isnt in the wedding but older one is

melissas5508melissas5508
First Comment
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
So i am not yet engaged we are waiting till we go get rings either this weekend or the next. but we have planned on who we want in our wedding. we decided we didnt want his lil sister in the wedding b/c she is A.D.D. (which isnt like horrible cuz my bf had it) but she is unbareable sometimes and i personally cant handle it. But my bfs older estranged <kinda) half sister is a bridesmaid. My bfs family is really overstepping and likes to try to make decisions for him and i cant stand it. we havent announced anything about getting married offically or the wedding party for that matter. but when we do i think that we are going to have some problems. what do i do. I dont wanna hurt anyones feelings but i dont wanna be overstressed with his family on our day! this is my wedding not theirs. I think if i have his lil sister in the wedding she will make it unbareable and i dont wanna have to deal with that on my day. but now for not putting her in the wedding im gonna hear it from his mom and gpa and gma so what should i do? How do i handle it when they get upset that shes not in the wedding. 
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Re: His younger sis isnt in the wedding but older one is

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    #1:  Why are you choosing a WP when you're not engaged yet?

    #2:  If you bio is correct, your wedding is two years away.  Come back in 18 months and ask this question.  There's absolutely NO reason to choose a WP this soon. Relationships change, and that's okay.

     Stroll over to the WP board and read the countless posts from brides who chose WP's too early and now are struggling with how to kick someone out of the WP.

    #3:  ADD is not a reason to exclude someone from a WP.  In fact, ADD is not a reason to exclude someone from anything.  And FWIW:  this woman will be your SIL for a long time.  And her family will be your family for a long time.

    I usually err on the side of caution and recommend that if at all possibly, siblings be included in a WP.  It just doesn't make sense to me to start your new life as member of his family by excluding someone~especially when you know it leads to hurt feelings that you'll be hearing about for YEARS.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • alecat9alecat9
    First Comment
    A. Don't pick your wedding party too early...

    B. As someone has posted previously to a similar question,  Your bridal party should be composed of people who you would call at 3 AM in an emergency.

    C. Aerin has some great advice...heed it.

    D. Grammar Police:  unBEARable not unBAREable...I wouldn't call you out on it, but you did it not once, but twice.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Ditto trix and aerin.
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  • melissas5508melissas5508
    First Comment
    edited May 2010

    ok i understand that i didnt phrase it right but we are going to get the ring this weekend so technically  have talked about it and we consider ourselves engaged but we are waiting to get the ring before we tell anyone. actually i believe i stated that but anyways who cares.
    His sisters add thing isnt the whole reason as to why we arent having her in the wedding.. she is 17 and she acts like she is 10 years old. me and my fiance have talked about it and he feels like she wont act ok at the wedding if we have her in it. She is very immmature and not to sound like a brat but she drives me nuts when she cant act her age.
    sorry for the wrong spelling didnt know this was spelling class. sorry but seriously if i didnt spell right who cares.

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  • superheroprincesssuperheroprincess member
    First Comment
    Wait until the wedding is 1 year away to ask members of the wedding party.

    I think it's wrong to ask a sister he's "sorta estranged" from and not a sister he's not estranged from.  You will look like a bad person and it can cause irreparable damage to your relationship with his family.

    Suck it up buttercup and ask her to be a bridesmaid or don't ask his other sister to be in the party either. 

    You not having his sister in the wedding party because of a developmental disorder is really sad.  You need to realize that it's not her fault and accept her for who she is.  Imagine how awful you would feel if someone did this to you. 


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  • futurepivkofuturepivko member
    First Comment
    wow........previous posters told exactly how i feel about this!
    Pink and Green Married Bio image
    Anniversary
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  • melissas5508melissas5508
    First Comment
    well the older sis is estranged from his parents but not from him or i so she isnt totally estranged... I have decided to have his younger sister as a personal attendant so that way she has a part in the wedding and doesnt feel left out. But i am keeping his older sis in as a bridesmaids for the fact that is what my fiance wants. But i do appreciate the advice and comments. thank you
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