Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

FG Jr BM or just a BM?

Hi Ladies, FI has a daughter who is currently 9, will be 10 by the wedding.  I think she's too old to be a flower girl, but should she be a junior BM or a full BM?  I don't even know yet if I'm having anyone else in the weddng party yet, so would she then by MOH?  Not sure what to do, any opinions?

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Re: FG Jr BM or just a BM?

  • She is too old to be a FG and to young to be a BM.  She can be a jr BM.
  • Since Jr. BM and BM do exactly the same thing:  wear the attire, walk down the aisle, stand respectfully during the ceremony, and smile for photos, I'd just call her a BM.

    But 9 is not too old to be an FG, IMO, if that's what she wants to be.

    Have you asked her if she'd rather be an FG or BM?  And yes, she could be MOH.  If your state requires someone to sign the license, then you just have any adult of legal age sign in place of the MOH.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • I know someone who the only attendents were children.  Their son was BM and his daughter was MOH.  I wasn't at the wedding but saw the pics and it looked so sweet.  Like pp said if your state requires witnesses to sign the license just grab a grownup who was there. 
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  • My son is 10 and he is going to be the best man.  FI has asked two of his groomsmen to take on the best man responsibilities (as far as the bachelor party, etc. etc.) but we've decided to give my son the honor.  He wanted to be ringbearer after serving as that at my best friend's wedding at 7.  We told him that, as best man, he still got to hold the rings at the alter, and he is a-ok with that!


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  • I don't think it looks good for a 10 year girl to be paired off with an adult male GM. As a BM, she will be paired off. Normally, jr BMs aren't paired off.
  • My sister is going to be 10 when I get married and is going to be a JBM, but I don't think that 10 is too old to be flower girl if that's what you, your FI and his daughter want. My brother will be 9 at my wedding and is going to be ring bearer. I think it just comes down to what the three of you want and are comfortable with.
  • I'll actually have two 11 yo's as FG's.  My FI wanted them in the ceremony and I didn't care so I asked them their preference.  Both decided that they would prefer to be FG's.  Why don't you, your FI and the 9 yo sit down and talk about it.  You may find that she has definite opinions on it herself!  And as long as you are ok with it, you can let her make the decision.
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