Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Is doing a money dance tacky?

My FI and are pretty young and want some extra spending cash for our honeymoon so I suggested a money dance but my mother thinks its extremely tacky. I see it as more of a tradition and that the guests are happy to help. What do you guys think.. are you doing one at your wedding or is it just a don't these days??

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Re: Is doing a money dance tacky?

  • I think it's tacky.
  • It's a tradition for some people.  If you're not one of those people (like, every wedding anyone in your family has ever been to has had a dollar dance), your guests are going to be horribly offended.
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  • Do you think standing on a corner and asking guys to give you money is tacky?

    Do yout think people stuffing money in your g-string (make that wedding dress) is tacky?

    Can you tell just how tacky I think dollar dances are?
  • Every wedding I've been to has had a money dance.  My sister got a grand total of like 45 dollars and a friend got like $70 (bigger wedding), so I wouldn't count on it being for extra HM money.  It's really just a tradition to "buy" a dance with the bride or groom since they are usually trying to mingle a lot, it just insures you get some one on one time to congratulate them (for about a minute), generally for $1 - $5.

    I guess because none of the weddings I've been to were really expecting people to give another $20 - $40 or so, I really didn't find it tacky. But if I knew they were counting on that money for their HM, I'd think it's just a little gift-grabby.
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  • If it is tradition then it is not tacky, but the reason you put, wanting extra money for the honeymoon is tacky.  
    Every wedding I have been to has had a money dance and when my fiance and I told my parents that we weren't having it they were surprised.  I don't want my guests to feel like they have to pay me to dance with my.    
  • tacky!  I think all games like that are tacky and fit better with a 5 year old's birthday party than an elegant affair such as a wedding.
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  • I'll be honest - until I joined TK, I had never heard of this.  No one I know and no one in my family has ever done this.  Now that I know what it is, tradition or not, I'm horrified by the concept. 

    It's up to you, though, and, FWIW, every tradition has to start somewhere, so even if no one in your family has this as a tradition, if it's what you really want to do, you can be the trailblazers to start the tradition if you want.  It's your wedding and you should do what makes you happy.

    My only other thought is that I have never taken my wallet to a wedding with me - just my ID and a debit card for gas on the way to/from if I need it.  If it's not something people are expecting, they might not have cash on them to even do this.  Just something else to think about.
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  • I think they're only appropriate if it's culturally or regionally the norm. For example, this is a tradition at Greek weddings, and something that people in that community look forward to. Other than those very few exceptions, I think they're incredibly tacky.
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  • Pay for your own honeymoon.  Don't shake down your guests for your trip.

    Oh-and yes, I think they're whatever is the next step beyond tacky.
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  • I've heard of them, and I even went to the wedding where there was one. I think it was cheesy. The D.J was egging people on, and it just took away from the wedding I think. It was such a beautiful, classy wedding
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  • If it's not a family tradition then - tacky.
  • Where I am from - no - it's not tacky.
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  • It depends on your guests.  Are they from a culture that does money dances?  They're more popular in the south and they're popular in cultures like Greece and the Philippines.  But on the whole, they're rarely talked about and most likely it will raise snarky comments from the guests who have never seen this before.

    In brief, if this tradition doesn't run in your families, skip it.
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  • It's a tradition in my family/culture and my guests/family won't see it as tacky.  But if your mom thinks it's tacky I'm guessing it's not a cultural tradition of yours.  I was at one wedding were the MOG paid a total of $0.50 to dance with her son, she didn't have cash on her, it's really more a token than a way to make money. 
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  • Around here it's a custom, so I don't think it's tacky at all.  Like all the pps said, it depends on your family/friends traditions & why you're doing it if it's tacky or not.
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  • Just because you are young, that doesn't give you the right to ask your guests to pay for your own honeymoon in any form.
  • I don't think it's tacky at all - it's a huge tradition in our family. (Polish roots on my Mom's side)  I think it's also important to remember that it's optional...if guests are uncomfortable participating - then they don't have to.
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  • oh, no. Please spare yourself and your guests. There are otherways to ask for extra cash- honeyfund, etc.
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  • TACKY!

    Your guests will already be buying you a wedding gift or giving you money as a gift anyway - please do not ask them to shower you with dollar bills on top of it!

    From what I've learned, this dance is a Polish tradition (I believe another culture may have something similar too).  So unless you're Polish or this dance is the "norm" with all your friends and family, I wouldn't do it.  Pay for your honeymoon on your own!
  • if its a family tradition thats been done at EVERY wedding in your family then no its not tacky, but it doesnt seem like this is the case.  you want money for your honeymood, which makes it TACKY.  even if you end up doing the dance dont expect to end up w/ tons of money...people only give a few dollars for the dance and unless your having hundreds of people attend your wedding you won't walk away with gobs of money.  you guests are there to celebrate your marriage not support you on your honeymoon.  i've been to 1 wedding that did this, about 15 yrs ago or so and it wasn't well received, but it's because it was not a tradition in the family or cicle of friends even.

    its a slap in the face to your guests just like if you told them they have to bring a gift with a value higher than $50 or they can't enter the reception.
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  • Every wedding I have ever been to has had the dollar dance. I think it is just tradition where we are from. I know we will be doing one. I have never known anyone to say its tacky.. till i read all these posts. I honestly expect one when I go to a wedding.
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  • You are definitely have mixed feelings on this one. It is a hot topic around here.

    I will tell you we had one. It is common in our family and among our friends. With that being said, people are not going to give you a million bucks or anything. I think we may have got $50 or less. So I wouldn't count on a lot of spending money for your HM. Plan on taking some cash and find a way to pay for things you want while on the trip in another way.
  • Back in the 70's and in the mid west, they use to do dollar dances.  It would cost the women $1 to dance with the groom and in return they usually got a chocolate bar.  To dance with the bride it was $1 and the men usually got a  shot in return.  I have not seen it done for years. 

    Personally I would never do it. 

    Just my opinion.
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  • Im doing a dollar dance. my brother and sister in law had a huge wedding and got close to $1000, and i dont think its tacky at all, we are young also and a little extra cash would help, even if its $50.
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  • I think its fun

    If guests don't want to participate they don't have to, its just a fun little thing some people enjoy.
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  • Personally in my family it is tradition. It is a way of family saying "this for to help you out in your new life". For my sisters wedding she got close to $3k and for my brothers wedding he got $1.5k. I think if you are doing it because of tradition then go for it far be it for you to break tradition right?! But if its just to get money why not just put on the invite money perfered over gift. =/ Hope this helps =)
  • a couple notes: I have been to weddings with and without  the dollar dance and have never been offended either way.

    I do not believe it will make you a lot of money so I would change your expectation.

    I always thought it was a cutesy way to see your guests on a one on one basis.  I have been to and IN weddings where i barely (if even) saw the bride and groom at the reception.it's 100+ ppl vying for your attention.. a short dance with your guests is a good way to spread out your attention.

    That said, we have not fully decided if we want one.

    I have been to a wedding with an alternative (it was the most fun wedding i ever attended).  The wedding was  alower budget wedding and the reception was a room rented out by the couple at  the couple's apartment complex.  The guest list was small.  The couple was mixed culture (the husband is Ukranian).  his family cooked for the recpetion (over abundance of home made cultural delicacies..the spread was amazing). 

    Instead of a dollar dance..the groomsmen kidnapped the bride.

    They called the groom on a cellphone and demanded ransome to retrieve her.  the cost: $50 and the Groom's pants.

    Most grooms don't carry a wallet and this was no exception.  Apparently this game is a tradition and the guests all came forward with pocket change and dollar bills until the total was reached.  The DIllema.. the Groom's pants.  Apparently the groom had, in his haste, decided to not put on undergarments when dressing that morning.  In the end he tied a vest around his midsection hiding himself completely beneath.  Everyone laughed and he bought back his bride.  There were also a couple of other memorable wedding games (one we hope to incorporate because it was SO much fun to watch!) i can only presume were tradition in his family and culture!

    Personally, although it is an expensive and elegant affair, I think we are fun and silly people at heart and i hope our wedding reception captures that as well. 

    i would also ask then.. a lot of weddings have money bags and boxes.. why is a dance so offending and the money bag not? 

  • I'm Italian and we call this type of thing "The Apron Dance" where a bridesmaid wears and apron and collects the money while people stand in line to dance. It's definitely not tacky for my family/culture, but I honestly haven't been to an italian wedding without one.

    I wore the apron at my cousin's wedding and I collected about $200 for her. In my family, people are happy to do it. The little kids run  up with dollars and the older family members sometimes hand over $20 bills. It's a fun way to get people to dance one-on-one with the bride and groom.

    But if your family isn't from a family where that's the norm...probably reconsider.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
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    Yes, it's tacky.  

    If you come from a family where it is normal, people will forgive you for being tacky. But if even your mom thinks it is wrong, you probably aren't going to offend people with this sort of cash grub.  
  • Since your mom thinks its tacky, I'm going to take a guess that its not a tradition in your family or in your circle of friends. And when people are at your wedding and find out that you're asking them for money, they're goign to be horribly offended. Don't do it.
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