Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Is doing a money dance tacky?

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Re: Is doing a money dance tacky?

  • I'm noticing a lot of brides expressing outrage are from the north. Maybe it's a southern thing, but every wedding I've attended has had a money dance. Especially at large weddings where everyone might not get a chance to dance with the bride or groom, it's a nice little way to get a few one-on-one moments with either the bride or groom (or both! LOL).

    We do it for tradition: it's not to shake down guests for money. It sounds like you only want a money dance to help fund your honeymoon (believe the posters who promise you'll only get maybe 50-60 bucks). If this were a tradition in your area, I'd say to hell with everyone giving you crap. Unfortunately, many of your guests are probably going to have the same opinion as your mother, so it's probably best to just nix it.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_doing-money-dance-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:9ac00853-1194-45e9-9ab7-a146dd76b018Post:b26699aa-83cf-4b6d-bd54-ed33cbab2fad">Re: Is doing a money dance tacky?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm noticing a lot of brides expressing outrage are from the north. Maybe it's a southern thing, but every wedding I've attended has had a money dance. Especially at large weddings where everyone might not get a chance to dance with the bride or groom, it's a nice little way to get a few one-on-one moments with either the bride or groom (or both! LOL). We do it for tradition: it's not to shake down guests for money. It sounds like you only want a money dance to help fund your honeymoon (believe the posters who promise you'll only get maybe 50-60 bucks). If this were a tradition in your area, I'd say to hell with everyone giving you crap. Unfortunately, many of your guests are probably going to have the same opinion as your mother, so it's probably best to just nix it.
    Posted by AlmostMrsStrong[/QUOTE]

    I don't think its a southern thing, because I live in Lower AL and I've never seen it done. I didn't know what it was until someone from Michigan asked if we were doing one and she had to explain to me what it was :)
  • I agree with what most people here are saying.  If you don't know what it is, then yes it will be tacky.  If it is common within your group of friends and family then no.  It is a tradition in many cultures.  My fathers aunts came to my cousins wedding in OH and they called it a dollar dance there and they freaked out because they kept saying, no one will give more than a dollar!  We grew up calling it a bridal dance. The tradition where I grew up in sw Pennsylvania (outside of Pittsburgh) is the following:

    It's a time for the bride to dance one turn with anyone that wants to see her off into her marriage.  All the guests form a large circle around the bride. The MOH holds the money bag and the guest stuffs $$ into the 'money bag', gets a turn or two with the bride and is shuffled off to the other side of the circle and either gets a piece of wedding cake or a shot of liquor, etc.  Near the end, she dances with her mother, then her father.  Everyone is supposed to crowd around the bride and her father and the groom is supposed to bust through everyone and "steal" his bride away and they leave to go on their honeymoon.  The money bag was to be a a financial start for the new couple.  This tradition was most likely started before people started giving gifts. 
    It's VERY big with the slovaks (what I am), polish, italian and greeks (I think) etc.  All of my family always used a wedding polka for this. My FI had never heard of it either, but he is totally willing to do it because he knows it is a tradition in my family and they are all expecting it. 

    It's not to get MORE cash... it's a way to greet everyone, and carry on tradition. We will probably only have about 100 guests (with the bridal party and immediate family) so we're not expecting a downpayment on a new car or anything.  But I have been to weddings (in PA) and the couple received 2k-3K just from this dance.  Mind you they had invited and paid for reception dinners for 300-400 guests too.  Don't do it if you think you'll get money. 

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_doing-money-dance-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:9ac00853-1194-45e9-9ab7-a146dd76b018Post:b26699aa-83cf-4b6d-bd54-ed33cbab2fad">Re: Is doing a money dance tacky?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm noticing a lot of brides expressing outrage are from the north. Maybe it's a southern thing, but every wedding I've attended has had a money dance. Especially at large weddings where everyone might not get a chance to dance with the bride or groom, it's a nice little way to get a few one-on-one moments with either the bride or groom (or both! LOL). We do it for tradition: it's not to shake down guests for money. It sounds like you only want a money dance to help fund your honeymoon (believe the posters who promise you'll only get maybe 50-60 bucks). If this were a tradition in your area, I'd say to hell with everyone giving you crap. Unfortunately, many of your guests are probably going to have the same opinion as your mother, so it's probably best to just nix it.
    Posted by AlmostMrsStrong[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>It is most certainly not a southern thing.  I've lived all over the south, and used to work a lot of catering events that included a lot of weddings.  I've attended 100+ weddings in the south, and have seen a grand total of one dollar dance.  The southern ladies were horrified.  </div><div>
    </div><div>The dollar dance is actually a polish custom that spread along with the immigrant population, and survives in pocket neighborhoods all over, but mostly in the midwest and Canada.  </div><div>
    </div>
  • Not Tacky At All!!! Every wedding I have been to has money dances! Maybe it is a southern thing? It is a chance for your close family and friends to give you a few extra dollars for you honeymoon! My uncles have been joking with me about saving them a dance!  If it it not something that is typically done in your family I would take some time to think about how you would annouce it so it does not sound tacky.
  • We always did it with both the bride and groom around here. At one friend's wedding, the bride was getting all the dances, and the groom just sort of stood there awkwardly until his best man paid for a dance with him! LOL I've also seen some couples turn it into a 'competition', with the bride and the groom each getting seperate bags, to see who could outearn the other!

    It may sound tacky to some folks, and that's fine, but please don't bash what other people may hold as a heartfelt and genuine tradition.
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  • edited September 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_doing-money-dance-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:9ac00853-1194-45e9-9ab7-a146dd76b018Post:ddd0c04c-59e0-49db-a257-72767c9bda7d">Re: Is doing a money dance tacky?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Personally in my family it is tradition. It is a way of family saying "this for to help you out in your new life". For my sisters wedding she got close to $3k and for my brothers wedding he got $1.5k. I think if you are doing it because of tradition then go for it far be it for you to break tradition right?! <strong>But if its just to get money why not just put on the invite money perfered over gift</strong>. =/ Hope this helps =)
    Posted by jackiegonz84[/QUOTE]

    It is never okay to mention gifts of any form on the invitation.  This is the kind of information you could mention on a wedding website.  The URL could be included on an insert in the invitation, but you should NEVER put it on the invitation.
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