pictures with groom before the ceremony??

angelfish11387

Hello,
I am having an evening wedding and reception to emmediately follow.  One thing that I have been pondering is getting pictures done with my groom and then a romantic dinner for 2 before the ceremony.  Do you think this would ruin the surprise? I am debating on this, but I still feel he will be even more emotional seeing me one on one rather than in front of our family and friends since he is very shy.  I also know that they say 'its bad luck for the groom to see you before the ceremony', but I think it would be something very special for the 2 of us to share and enjoy on one of the most important days of our lives.  what do you all think?

marissa_claire

It's done more and more, but to be honest, there's something breathtaking about seeing the bride for the first time when she's coming down the aisle.  I know you're thinking in terms of logistics, but the last wedding I went to we saw the bride having photos done on the stairs outside the chapel, and it was kind of lame.  Whereas I was totally weeping at my cousin's wedding because when you see them in that moment there's something special going on.

direy25

It seems that the people who have done the "first look" session with their photographer have loved it.  I love the idea, but I brought it up to FI and he said absolutely not, he wants the first time he sees me to be when I'm walking down the aisle.  Definitely ask your FI what he thinks.  My FI's response actually really surprised me, I thought he'd be all about going straight from the ceremony to the cocktail hour and not having to deal with pictures...

krimson19

we actually planned to do some photos before, but ran out of time.  i think it worked out for the best. 

LauraT25

I would talk to your FI, since it might be important to him one way or another.  We did it, and I am really glad we did.  At first it was mostly logistics (because of the sunset) but when I actually saw him, I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I'm really glad my photographer was the only one who witnessed it.  If I had had that experience while everyone was looking at me, I would have been uncomfortable.  But it's a personal thing, and everyone reacts differently.

I do agree with PP about people seeing the bride beforehand.  If I had thought about it, I would have asked the photographer to stage the first look somewhere where the guests couldn't see us.  Some people do it at a completely different location, in fact.  It was a little thing, but I didn't want to see (or talk to) guests before the wedding.

angelfish11387

I dont want anyone else to see me ahead of time totally done up besides maybe my mom when she is helping me dress, I am not having any attendents so that makes it even more special for her and I.  Thats something I didnt really think about, the guests seeing me get pictures done, I will definitely make sure that doesnt happen because I agree its always breathe taking to see the bride come down the isle.  thanks for the suggestions!

AshRouss

I want to take pictures before because my ceremony and reception are at the same place immediately following.  I wanted to do a first look session but away from arriving guests, maybe at a different site. 

kristinanddan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_pictures-groom-before-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:adb60c3b-1eea-4d62-8b62-4aa65db74284Post:a9eb72c8-6d0f-4a09-8d23-306cafa5c7af">Re: pictures with groom before the ceremony??</a>:
[QUOTE]It's done more and more, but to be honest, there's something breathtaking about seeing the bride for the first time when she's coming down the aisle.  I know you're thinking in terms of logistics, but the last wedding I went to we saw the bride having photos done on the stairs outside the chapel, and it was kind of lame.  Whereas I was totally weeping at my cousin's wedding because when you see them in that moment there's something special going on.
Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]

I can assure you that it was no less breathtaking seeing my husband for the first time before the ceremony. In fact, I feel like it was more special because it was just me, my husband, and the photographers. We have gorgeous photos of me walking towards him, him facing away from me, and amazing photos of his face seeing me for the first time.

It was also still emotional walking down the aisle, but we weren't as nervous.

barbie92

That is something I am going back and forth on especially after reading all these posts! I think its really a decision for you and your FI to make together

HKD817

I think that 90% of the traditions and/or superstitions are ridiculous. My FI and I will be seeing each other before the ceremony to do our pictures. No biggie.

sister2groom

Seeing eachother is pretty common, but I don't really see how the dinner could work. I mean you'd have to be paying your photographer while you're eating, which seems like a waste to me.

2dBride

I have had no problems with seeing my FI before the wedding, at either of my weddings.  However, I would not have dinner in my wedding dress just before the ceremony.  There would be far too great a chance of spilling something on the dress before the ceremony.

[Deleted User]

I guess we are old school and didn't want to see each other before the ceremony. For me, seeing the look on his face when he stood at the end of the aisle and what he whispered in my ear once we took our seats on the altar, was amazing and made me glow even more.

All in all, I think it is a personal choice and you need to do what you and your FI can both agree on.

LauraT25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_pictures-groom-before-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:adb60c3b-1eea-4d62-8b62-4aa65db74284Post:7450ee4a-0944-4105-a12a-a74a412c1478">Re: pictures with groom before the ceremony??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: pictures with groom before the ceremony?? : I can assure you that it was no less breathtaking seeing my husband for the first time before the ceremony. In fact, I feel like it was more special because it was just me, my husband, and the photographers. We have gorgeous photos of me walking towards him, him facing away from me, and amazing photos of his face seeing me for the first time. It was also still emotional walking down the aisle, but we weren't as nervous.
Posted by kristinanddan[/QUOTE]

I agree.  Although I said I was glad I got the super emotional part out of my system before the ceremony, it was still a very special moment when we saw each other.  My husband also said it helped calm his nerves, so he wasn't crying (too much) during the ceremony.  And almost everyone tells me that their favorite photos are from our first look.

However, as everyone said, it's a decision that you and your FI have to make together.  Either way, it will still be a special day, and you need to do what is right for the two of you.  I do think the dinner would be difficult logistically; you are going to be very busy the entire day before the wedding, and it would be a shame to spill something on your dress.  Also, I was much too anxious and excited to eat much beforehand, I had to force myself to eat.  And if you're having food at the reception, wouldn't you rather not be full from a big dinner?  I just think it would be odd to take a break from the pre-wedding activities to have a sit-down dinner all dressed up with your FI and photographer.

Gismo123

Hi there!  I just booked my photographers (I get 2!) today and we actually talked about doing the pre wedding photos also...I'm getting married in Jan. and my ceremony is at 4pm.  If I wait till after the wedding I won't get the pretty background of the ranch I'm getting married at because it will be too dark.  So we are probably going to do the before the wedding pictures.  I would suggest doing them if you are getting married later in the day to make sure your background isn't just black

Gismo123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_pictures-groom-before-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:adb60c3b-1eea-4d62-8b62-4aa65db74284Post:c36f8e20-d7e4-4e30-a6d7-418b59106e15">Re: pictures with groom before the ceremony??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: pictures with groom before the ceremony?? : Any photographer worth their salt can do perfectly great pictures at night as well as during the day.  A lot of them will actually bring lighting with them if they think there's a chance they'll need it.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

Well as a fellow professional photographer I can tell you it doesn't matter how many lights you have they only light up so much and only go so far.  It depends on your light ratio but most lights don't go beyond 20ft, especially strobes.....now I'm getting married on a ranch and there is stuff that is much more than 20 ft. away that I want in the pictures.  So as I said before if you want your "entire" background in  your picture it needs to be done with available sunlight and not just studio lights.  If all you care about is getting the family in the pictures with what is immediatly behind you then sure studio lights work just fine.

Pirata13

H was just as adamant as me that we not see each other before I walked down the aisle. We both really wanted that moment. I would definitely ask your FI what he thinks, because he may really want that aisle moment or he may feel more comfortable doing a first look. I do agree though, that dinner would not be a good idea. Besides the chance of spilling something on yourselves, nerves (you may not be very hungry if either of you are nervous) plus honestly you can never really plan for enough time beforehand to get ready etc. And you never know what could come up beforehand that could delay those plans.

We planned things out very well with arriving to the church separate so he wouldn't see me, a receiving line after, church photos, 2 "on-location" photo sessions, and still got to the hall by the end of the cocktail hour. One thing that can help if you decide to all pics after, make sure you have a list of who you want pics with and a kind of order to go with. We made a list ahead of time, advised all who we wanted in photos at the church to please stay after, and arranged an order that let people we didn't need for all the photos to head to the cocktail hour ASAP. It really helped keep things flowing and keep us on track. 

MissOwl

you might also consider how extroverted/introverted you two are. my partner is extremely introverted and we have talked about how having a private moment together for our first look would be much more meaningful for the two of us. good luck with your decision.

palrmt

I don't think there is a right or wrong way to do this.  For some people the first look is the right thing and for others it's just not.  It depends on the couple.  My FI and I have decided to do a first look with just the photographer present and I am super excited about it.  I want that moment to be our private moment.  Once we have our private moment, then we will take most of our formal posed pictures before the ceremony.

I could never have dinner before the ceremony though just because we are both terrible about spilling food on ourselves.  (I know it's horrible but it's like we are 2 yr olds)

BTW My mother was absolutely appalled at the idea of the first look.  It probably didn't help that I threw in that we are spending the night in our apartment together before the wedding too.  She ranted and raved and I let her have her say.  And then I politely told her it was a personal decision and didn't affect her financially (she and my father are paying for most of the wedding) so she needed to respectfully disagree.  She has moved on to other issues now but she still mumbles under her breath about it now and then just to let me know that she still disapproves. 

Lisa50

FI and I will definitely see one another before the ceremony, but not for a formal portrait session.  We plan to check into the hotel the day before the wedding, so will spend the wedding morning/afternoon together ... take a walk, have brunch, etc.  Once it's time to get ready, he'll take off for the best man's room. 

We will meet up -- but not have a "first look" photo session -- just prior to entering the terrace together, where we will greet our guests who have just been seated.  We'll certainly get the photographer to capture those moments ... elevator ride, entrance to the terrace, greeting the guests, walking to the canopy together.  Yee ha!