Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Father/ Daugher, Step Father/ Step daughter dance....

So here is my dillema.... My parents are divorced and my father has always been a part of my life, as much as my mother (they had split custody).  Well my mom is remarried and has been for 10 years.  My step father has no children and has been a wonderful part of my life.  My issue is that of course I am doing a father daughter dance but I don't want my step father to feel shorted either.  Do I have a separate dance with him, after my father, that is shorter? Do I not dance with him but make it a point to dance with him later? Has anyone else dealt with this and if so what did you do?????

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Re: Father/ Daugher, Step Father/ Step daughter dance....

  • I think it's TOTALLY up to you. But think about your guests' comfort as well - what other formal dances are you doing? First dance? Mother/son dance? A long line of dances gets kind of boring to watch.

    You could list your step father in the program and/or give him a bout if you're giving out flowers to family members.
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  • You could always pick one song to dance with your father and then 1/2 way through start dancing with your step-dad.

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  • It is perfectly acceptable to dance with whomever you want as long as you don't bore you guests to death doing it.  I'm usually bored after the first dance but will sit through the father-daughter and mother-son.  Any dances in addition to that and you'll find me wandering around looking for someone to chat with or getting another drink because I don't care to watch people dance for 30 minutes.
  • hmmm how long do they recommend each song is?
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  • I think you should do what you want to. I am planning on having a special dance with my brother but I will do that after dinner instead of after the first dance, father-daughter, and mother-son. Maybe you could do something llike that...
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  • I'm in the same boat as you. and at a loss for ideas. I WANT to do the formal dance, but I am trying to think of my guests and not have 50000000 dances that they have to sit through.

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  • I am also going through the same thing.  My problem is I am not very close to my father but my grandparents would be heartbroken if I didn't dance with him but did with my step-dad.  I am the only girl in a family of all boys, I hate to upset them too much!

    I think I am going to do a short dance with each- like a minute and a half.  I will first dance with my step-dad for a minute and a half and then start with my dad.  In the middle of the song I will ask the band or DJ to invite others up for the remainder.  Then my guests won't be bored (hopefully!).
  • i was thinking of doing our first dance and then doing the other dances while people ate... is that a bad idea? that way i could do them but they could eat so it wouldn't be "lost time"
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  • I'm in pretty much the same boat as well. I'm close to my dad, but my stepdad has been a big part of my life since he married my mom when I was 5. I originally was going to just do two father/daughter dances. That might work, but I  also want to make sure that my dad doesn't feel slighted. My mom suggested that I do the regular dances - first dance, father/daughter (w Dad), mother/son - and then later on in the reception do a special step-father/daughter dance. I think that's what I'm going to do. At that time, my fi may also do a grandmother/grandson dance since he has always been closer to his grandmother than his mother. If possible, we want to find a song that would be suitable to do both of those at the same time.
    Just my 2 cents!

    p.s. I did consider the 1/2 song with dad, then stepdad cuts in idea, but I felt like that would not be fair to my dad. Almost like giving me away twice, to both stepdad and husband!
  • I am in the same boat as well... I think I have decided to do first dance, father/daughter, mother/son, and then stepfather/daughter... my step dad has been more of a dad to me, but my bio. dad just doesn't get it... but I am going to keep the songs around 3 min so people dont get bored...
  • Here is what I would like to do... I will have it worked out a head of time where I will start the dance with my biological dad then I want my step dad (which has been more of a father to me) to step in to finish the dance with me.  I love them both, but since my step dad has been in my life since i was 4 I want to include him

    Also I am having both of them escort me :)
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