Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Inviting people involved in the wedding

What is proper etiquette about people assisting with the wedding?  I want to invite our pastor and wife to the reception.  Should I send a formal invite?  It's obvious he will be at the ceremony as he is the officiant.  Also, what about my soloist and person running the sound system? Should I send them each a formal invite as well?  I do not expect gifts from these persons, but I don't want them to be offended if I just say, "oh by the way, you are invited to the reception, too." 

Can anyone chime in with their ideas?

Re: Inviting people involved in the wedding

  • We sent our Priest and Deacon a wedding invitation (which meant they were also invited to the reception). We did not, however, send invites to our organist or cantor. Our organist had to stay for the mass after our wedding and I believe we told her she was free to stop by (we had allowed for some extra plates). Our cantor was not interested in coming as she was just someone who sings regulary at our church and for weddings, etc. The Priest and Deacon didn't even show up until later, which was fine. They still had meals for them.

    I think you should send a formal invite to your pastor and his wife. The others, depending on how close/well you know them, I think you could still send them an invite or just word of mouth maybe during the rehearsal, let them know they are welcome to come to the reception.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You should send your pastor/officiant and spouse an invitation.  For church people who will work the ceremony only, you can invite them to the reception if you wish, but it is not necessary if you don't want to.  For other people working at the wedding, you do not send an invitation.  

    You shouldn't be expecting gifts from anyone, so that's really irrelevant.  
  • Thanks!  My soloist is an acquanitance of my sister, but does not go to our church.  The woman handling the sound system is from the church and I will be 'donating' for her help. I only stated I didn't expect a gift because I didn't want anyone to think I was thinking of inviting only for that.  Any other thoughts?

  • I don't think you need to invite them (with the exception of the Minister) as they are basically "employees" for the day.  Would you invite them if they weren't working your wedding?  If so then invite them, if not then don't. 
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited September 2010
    I am a church organist.  When I'm playing a wedding, unless it's for a personal friend, it is a job that I'm being paid for.  No different really than the florist or limo driver. 

    If I'm playing/singing for a friend, that's one thing.  But generally, I don't expect to get an invitation to the reception, and when I do, I generally decline the invitation.

    It is, however, appropriate tp invite the pastor and his/her spouse to your reception.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • I'm a soloist.  I do not stay for receptions unless it is someone who would have invited me if I wasn't singing!
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
  • I've heard from some ministers who are married that they do not attend receptions unless they have received an invitation.  Apparently too many B&Gs will ask him/her after the ceremony and chances are, they have plans with their spouse/SO already.
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    AKA GoodLuckBear14
  • I'm going to send the priest and his wife, our violinists, DJ, photographers, all invites, that way they can choose the meal they would like.
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