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A Bridesmaid situation


Okay, so I have a "situation" and I'm not quite sure how to handle it, if at all.  My siutation is that my wedding is next Friday and I have one BM who hasn't yet called to get her dress fitted.  This same BM ordered her dress about 6 weeks after the deadline to order it and consequently held all of the other dresses up and they have just come in at the end of July.  (The reason they were held up is bc the shop wanted to put in the full order toghether although I didn't know that they were going to do this.)  So when the dresses come in the girls only have about a week to call and get appointments to be fitted.  The store told me they had until 4 weeks before the wedding to call and get their appointment to be fitted.  I called all of the BMs to let them know what was up and left it at that.  Last week my BM says that she still hasn't called to get an appointment to get the dress altered.  I reminded her that my wedding was at that point less than 2 weeks away.  I said nothing else.  My question is if she doesn't get it fitted in time (which is looking to be that way), what do I do?  I'm guessing she will need a lot done to it (most taken in around the bust and a hem), but I doubt she will be able to get it done on such short notice.  Do I just let her walk down the aisle in a dress that doesn't fit her if that's what she chooses to do?  If the alterations aren't significant, then it's not a big deal, but on her wedding dress she needed about 8 inches taken in around her boobs...so I am guessing it will be the same for this dress.  Sigh..I'm not really stressed just curious as to how others would handle this?
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Re: A Bridesmaid situation

  • It's not your responsibility to manage your BM's attire, it's hers.  Let it go. 
  • edited August 2010
    I would leave it. It is her responsibility to get the dress and get alterations. If the dress is way too big than she will be the one that look bad and not you. I suggest throwing some extra needles, thread, & safety pins in the wedding day bag. You may be able to quickly stitch or pin a troublesome area if she shows up with an unaltered dress.

    EDIT: My wedding dress was fully altered in a week. I had a lot to do on mine as well. Don't worry about her dress. It can be done in a short time. She may just have to work harder to find someone willing to do it in a short time.
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  • I'd let the bridesmaid handle it, honestly.

    She can get the alterations done at the shop or she can pick up the dress and take it elsewhere.  I've had dresses altered in a few days at several tailoring places.

    I sincerely doubt she'd try to show up in a dress that absolutely did not fit her (like falling off didn't fit her) because she would look ridiculous.  I'm sure she has enough sense for that.  But, if the dress is a little too big in the boobs or a little too long, who really cares? 

    Will affect your ability to get married?  No.

    Just let it go.  There are far more important things to worry about.
  • The only garment I've ever had altered in my life was my wedding gown, and I've been in a couple of different weddings.  Who's to say she'll even need alterations?  Treat her like an adult and trust her to make sure the dress is wearable.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284

  • That's what I have done.  I haven't even asked her about it, she just told she hadn't got it done.  I certianly don't want her to look sloppy, so safety pins is a good idea.  I just didn't know what others thoughts were.  Thanks!

    And just so everyone knows I haven't micromanaged her.  I gave her the date to get it done by, given to me by the bridal shop and she has failed to do so.  I only talked to her about it when she brought it up.  It really isn't a big deal and as I said I'm not stressing, just thought maybe someone else had had this experience!  Thanks again!
    [IMG]http://i1222.photobucket.com/albums/dd490/Lilou902/030-1-2-2.jpg[/IMG]


    Kisses + sexy underwear = BFP 9-14-12 EDD 5-26-13br>

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  • Just let her handle it. If she looks foolish, then that's her own fault.

    However, remember that she can always take the dress to a tailor to get it fitted. She's not limited to the salon's seamstress.

    I don't think my sister/MOH's dress was properly hemmed until a few days before my wedding. I honestly have no idea. When the dresses were delivered, I just gave them to the BMs and they were on their own from there on out. They both showed up to the wedding looking lovely, so all's well that ends well.
    image

  • Yeah I'm sure it will be fine!!  The only reason I was saying that she would get it done at the bridal shop is that alterations were included in the price of the dress.
    [IMG]http://i1222.photobucket.com/albums/dd490/Lilou902/030-1-2-2.jpg[/IMG]


    Kisses + sexy underwear = BFP 9-14-12 EDD 5-26-13br>

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  • She may not even need any alterations.  My bridal gown needed to be taken in in the bust, but not any BM dresses I've bought before.  Has she told you that she definitely needs it to be altered?  And she may be going somewhere else.  Maybe she has a family member that does alterations that wouldn't charge her anyways.

    I would let it go, and leave it up to her.  I know many people who are lazy and procrastinate but always manage to get it done.  Unless she has a tendency to always look sloppy and wear clothes that don't fit her, I wouldn't worry about her looking sloppy.  If she does, she'll be the one that looks bad, not you.

    I agree with the PP though that said have some safety pins and sewing kit available for the day of the wedding just in case. 
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  • I'd let it go and leave it up to her.

    And I can't blame you for being stressed.  All you can do though if it doesn't fit is to pack some emergency needle and thread.

  • And find someone to sew it!  LOL.  yeah, I plan to let it go, just wanted to vent I guess.  In other news the pastor just called and said he can't marry us, 10 days before the wedding.  Sigh.  Here we go!
    [IMG]http://i1222.photobucket.com/albums/dd490/Lilou902/030-1-2-2.jpg[/IMG]


    Kisses + sexy underwear = BFP 9-14-12 EDD 5-26-13br>

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  • You can always sew her into the dress.  It means that the sewing may not survive dress removal but if it comes down to sewing her into the dress or her not wearing the dress, that's the choice SHE made.
  • Wow, what happend with your pastor?
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  • He has to have emergency surgery.  It unaviodable, it still sucks.  I am trying to keep calm.  haha
    [IMG]http://i1222.photobucket.com/albums/dd490/Lilou902/030-1-2-2.jpg[/IMG]


    Kisses + sexy underwear = BFP 9-14-12 EDD 5-26-13br>

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  • It appears that I can't type either.  Doing too many things at once.  The surgery is unavoidable,but it still sucks that he won't be able to make it. He knows us...  he plans to get another pastor to take his place, but we don't know him.  At least we will be married at the end of the day!!
    [IMG]http://i1222.photobucket.com/albums/dd490/Lilou902/030-1-2-2.jpg[/IMG]


    Kisses + sexy underwear = BFP 9-14-12 EDD 5-26-13br>

    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt155c6e.aspx[/img][/url]
  • My daughter's pastor had a mild heart attack 3 days before the wedding.  His wife called us and then called a pastor that is their friend.  He came out while they were getting ready and talked to each of them and we went over the ceremony.  He did a LOVELY job!  Never fear.
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
  • Listen to Muffin's Mom. Everything will be lovely =)
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  • Yeah, his friend will be taking care of us.  I'm not worried, just hopinge everything else will go smoothly.  As long as we are married at the end of the day.
    [IMG]http://i1222.photobucket.com/albums/dd490/Lilou902/030-1-2-2.jpg[/IMG]


    Kisses + sexy underwear = BFP 9-14-12 EDD 5-26-13br>

    [url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt155c6e.aspx[/img][/url]
  • In Response to Re: A Bridesmaid situation:
    [QUOTE]I disagree a little bit.  I think you should call her.  This type of flaky behavior could be a red flag about how she will act on wedding day.  Will she show up?  And, these wedding pictures are yours forever.  If her gown is too long and doesn't fit in the bust line that is going to show in the pictures. I say make a call and ask her if she think she needs alterations and if she does what is her plan because you are concerned.  It doesn't have to be a fight just a conversation between friends.  Good luck!
    Posted by mica001[/QUOTE]
    There is a world of difference between going out to get alterations done and showing up to a friend's wedding.  If you think that one is an honest indication of the other, I think you don't know too much about people.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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