Pushy Bridesmaid

BostonLauren83

One of my bridesmaids just got married a few months ago and because she is in "wedding mode" she is being really pushy about all of the pre-wedding planning. She asked me several times about the shower 8-9 months before the wedding, she was very upset about the cost of the bridesmaid dress (which all the other maids agree is completely reasonable), and now she is sending me texts 3-4 times a week about wedding related things that are the job of the MOH. The MOH is my younger sister, who is more mature and organized than I am about this. What is the best way to tell this bridesmaid that if I need help, I will ask, but her overzealous nature is creating just creating a ton of stress.

deepcovejackie

"Thank you, I think it's handled" should suffice.  However, if your BM is complaining about the cost of the dress, that's important.  It's best to ask the WP individually well in advance what their budget will be, and respect that.

suz62984

First, you were in the wrong for choosing a dress without asking each BM individually for their budget. I suggest you work with this BM to find a budget friendly dress for her.

Second, she is still in wedding mode so just tell her that you don't know anything about showers that may or may not be planned. Shower plans aren't really for a bride to know. You shouldn't be part of the planning so just tell her "I dunno" when she asks.

Third, MOH's only "job" is to buy a dress, show up sober, walk down the aisle, hold your bouquet, fix your train, smile pretty for pictures. That's it.

Fourth, what kind of things specifically is she asking to do. It's good that she is asking for help but it you don't need it yet, then you don't need it yet. Just say. "Aw, thank you for wanting to help. Right now everything is covered but I will let you know if there is anything I may need help with. You are so sweet to want to help. Thanks!"  If she keeps sending texts just change the subject and ignore her.

suz62984

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_pushy-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:059f42b5-ea07-4450-9999-57f3d499654cPost:df4e5c54-d5ac-4fa9-9327-b71fbacd2588">Pushy Bridesmaid</a>:
[QUOTE]One of my bridesmaids just got married a few months ago and because she is in "wedding mode" she is being really pushy about all of the pre-wedding planning. She asked me several times about the shower 8-9 months before the wedding, she was very upset about the cost of the bridesmaid dress (which all the other maids agree is completely reasonable), and now she is sending me texts 3-4 times a week about wedding related things that are the job of the MOH. The MOH is my younger sister, who is more mature and organized than I am about this. What is the best way to tell this bridesmaid that if I need help, I will ask, but her overzealous nature is creating just creating a ton of stress.
Posted by BostonLauren83[/QUOTE]

trix1223

ditto suz.  A simple answer:  "Thanks for the suggestion.  We'll consider it".  Then consider it and do what you wanted to in the first place.

OR  "Well, that's under control now.  But I'll be sure to call on you if I need advice or help, though".  Saying it over and over and over and over and over and she'll eventually get the message.

PeonyPrincesskdd

she was very upset about the cost of the bridesmaid dress (which all the other maids agree is completely reasonable


I agree with the previous poster. Just because all the other bridesmaids are okay with the dress, doesn't mean that the one who isn't okay with it has to deal with it and go with that dress.  The whole 3 against 1 (or however many bridesmaids you have) doesn't work in regards to a bridesmaids dress.  If one doesn't agree, you need to find a way for them ALL to agree so that they are ALL happy.

With regard to her texts, just ignore them.. or answer some.. and be short and sweet "I don't know about the shower, I'm sure who ever plans it will contact you" etc

BostonLauren83

Just to be clear, I did check with all the BM to see what budgets were. When asked she said "whatever you spent on mine would be fine" and the one i picked is at least $50 less than what i spent on hers. but when it came to purchasing, she all of a sudden flipped and wanted to pay for it as late as possible. And she didn't say anythig about her financial situation changing, and if she had, I would have offered to pay for it.

bablingbrooke

Don't worry about when she orders it.  If she wants to wait until the end and pay a rush fee, let her.  

Is she always this overzealous, or is this new?